Hurtful comment from a friend :(

[ttcbaby4us]

Today I met a friend for coffee and her first line after 'hi' was 'are you sure you're not carrying twins? Your bump looks huge'. WHAT???? I told her that in 2 weeks I'll be 7 months but she just looked with disbelief. Why people do that? Don't they get that it hurts?
Midwife measured my fundal hight and it's perfectly normal - exact 25 weeks today.
I really don't wanna see her for a long time now...
People!

Ask her if she is pregnant as well or just gained a few pounds!

 

[Torontogal]

I haven't gotten comments yet of course I'm too early, but I am looking forward to throwing a few zingers to one of my guy friends - it is inevitable that he will make fun of my weight because that's the kind of guy he is. He also has a bigger belly than any pregnant woman I have ever seen so I am looking forward to saying "yes but I'm not as big as you" LOL

 

[AllieCat]

Today I met a friend for coffee and her first line after 'hi' was 'are you sure you're not carrying twins? Your bump looks huge'. WHAT???? I told her that in 2 weeks I'll be 7 months but she just looked with disbelief. Why people do that? Don't they get that it hurts?
Midwife measured my fundal hight and it's perfectly normal - exact 25 weeks today.
I really don't wanna see her for a long time now...
People!

I dont think people actually think before they speak. That was very rude of her to say the least. Had this been my friend, i always tell it like it is: "well that was a bi*ch thing to say to me, you look great too". I assume she hasnt had kids... give her a "you'll see when your pregnant"

 

[cinnamum]

aaaahhh BIG is BEAUTIFUL!

BUT... i must be blunt and honest! i have got rid of all my (so called) friends who have said harsh things towards my husband, kids and i.
i have also told everyone when i became friends with them... ''stitch me twice? fook off!''

i need reliable and kind people in my life. not arseholes! LOL

 

[lintu]

i had a girl at work the other day comment that i didnt have a bump!! I was like erm what does this look like scotch mist!!! my tummy was flat before i got my its not fat you know!!! then she said but its not hard, I said it will only go like that when its all baby at like 8 mth plus at the moment its still fluid with bit of baby.

I then made a joke today to one of the lads who was moaning he'd put weight on, that he could have my pants with a "belly pocket" when iv finished with them, the same girl comment "oh i'd die if i had to buy them" I said when your pregnant love you wont have much choice, you just want to be comfy!!!!

are some people for real, huni you just have to rise above them they are idiots who obviously do not have a clue

 

[swanxxsong]

I've learned to just ignore comments. Most people tell me I'm all belly and how lucky I am for that. A few people have said I'm huge, must be carrying twins (I'm not). A few people said that I'm barely showing and wow, I'm so lucky I must have barely gained anything (so not true haha). And then there's the group who are like, "Aw it's obvious you gained but you don't look pregnant yet, don't worry you'll pop soon."

I just smile and ignore it now. I was appalled at first until I came to realize that most of the world just lacks a dang filter. lmao.

 

[mspotter]

I really think it depends who says it to how much offense you take at it!!
I was late for a meeting at work tday and when i came in one of the girls said 'whats up did you get stuck in your chair' and i just called her a cheeky cow and laughed it off and it was fine lol
but......
My best friend referred to my bump the other day as a 'spare tyre' and to be honest i really took offense at that, possibly because thats the latest in a long line of weight related insults.
I wouldn't mind but i haven't even put loads of weight on!!!!
xxx

 

[xxsteffyxx]

everyone at work keeps saying i am having triplets, or a chocolate baby... lol

I just shrug it off!

 

[lalitas charm]

I got so upset and paranoid with the comments the last time I was pregnant. It was awful, a colleague was stunned 1 day when she walked around my work (I'm in admin at a factory so there are about 300ppl there) and the amount of comments were unreal. 1 or 2 you could cope with but I was getting 15+ comments about how I was huge, I was eating too much (I wasn't), I looked terrible (erm cheers) etc etc. It was awful. Hardly anyone knows this time around but its still early days yet, I've def got a fair bump already prob coz its #2 so I'm planning to hide in my office once the news is properly out there!! The funniest day was when I got called huge by 1 person and then about 10 minutes later someone told me that I was really neat for how far along I was......... erm...... ok then.......

I really think that people seem to think that it is ok to say anything to a pregnant lady and they forget that rude comments do hurt!!

 

[toddlerandpip]

Just tell them not to be so rude. They'll be shocked but might realise they are being rude! I get the opposite. I'm 24 weeks, and get a lot of isn't my bump small!

Also I agree with the second poster about dates! You are going to feel like the 3rd trimester is lasting forever if you add months like that!

 

[1stOne]

My favorite with my first was when I was probably 8-9 months along. A friend's husband looked at me with wide eyes and just exclaims - "MY GOD YOU ARE HUGE!"... ummm wow - what do you even say to that? lol.

I think it is more uncomfortable because it is a man saying that. I thought every man knew not to comment about a women's weight, or belly for that matter!

 

[1stOne]

One of the first things that my Midwife said to me was to ignore all comments about the size of my bump, it is amazing what people say.

This is pretty good advice because big or small bump, I think we all get the comments and can easily be offended by our changing bodies

 

[xPH03N1Xx]

Lol, some people just have no brains!
I normally say "what are you trying to say?" Or "what's that supposed to mean?"
Even if I'm not offended its funny watching them back peddle, and they usually don't open their mouths again
The worst one iv had is "so your happy, I mean with your situation and everything?" I'm still trying to work out what "my situation" is... Lol

 

[Vic31]

Why do you care? You know it's because you're pregnant, so does she. Just shrug it off. People always say my bump is massive (it is!) and I just smile because we all know why, there's a baby in there! Be proud ofit, there's bigger things to worry about.

 

[bumpbear]

I think that when people make comments like this they are just excited for us and its their way of expressing joy/ giving us a compliment - i am pretty sure they're not calling us fat cows!

If they said your face looked really fat, that would be something to get upset about!

 

[xPH03N1Xx]

It's only a problem because people say "hey your huge!" When they could say "wow you look great". Like, how hard is it.... If you can't say something nice, then keep your damn mouth shut

 

[crimsonsky]

I like that comment Im carrying a baby what's your excuse? That's what i will say!

 

[Jokerette]

I think that when people make comments like this they are just excited for us and its their way of expressing joy/ giving us a compliment - i am pretty sure they're not calling us fat cows!

If they said your face looked really fat, that would be something to get upset about!

I agree. I am realizing now that before I got pregnant I may have made stupid comments like that without even realizing it!!! But I never meant any offense but it... I just didn't know how it came across. Insert foot in mouth

 

[JackiePed]

Sometimes I think we can get oversensitive about these things...usually people say it to sort of 'jump up and down' with us...like... yay! You're having a baby! And they assume that we WANT to look preggo...
I do prefer when people say "your tummy / bump is huge" instead of "you're huge!" ...but still I know what they mean.
I'm not criticizing you, the OP, I'm just suggesting that perhaps she didn't mean it in a snarky way at all. She likely thought she was paying you a compliment.

 

[Gretaa]

Thanks guys for all the lovely comments. Well, I am more sensitive and I wish people would just think before saying, really. Comments, such as HUGE and ARE YOU SURE you're not carrying twins, put me in a negative position - am I sure??? You know. Anyway, I'll try to keep a distance from these kinds of people, I'd rather have no friends than friends with no common sense!