HYPOTHETICAL question....ltttc bfp to other ltttc

[Countrygirl13]

Hi, ideas please. A really good friend has just finished her final nhs round of ivf unsuccessfully and has now made the decision that they can't do any more. Halfway through her ttc journey, i got married and started ttc too. No luck after 18 months....but this month my increased dose of clomid has had some effect on me and i have follicles! Very hopeful for the next few months BUT how do i tell her if i get a bfp?
I have read enough posts from people that have been told in a really insensitive way. I would feel really bad if i posted here after getting a bfp, so i thought i'd ask now.... She knows i'm struggling too, but it won't make her feel any better.
How would you like to be told that a friend is pregnant?

 

[zanDark]

Such a tough one!! When I was ltttc (3 years) I much preferred it when my friends told me over the phone or via email. It was easier for me because while my initial reaction was happiness and excitement for them...after a while that dark self hatred came out and I'd just sit and cry and blame myself.

From what I've seen from a few ltttc friends...it doesn't really matter if the person getting the bfp was ltttc or not...the same feelings come out. A lot of them even feel that we forget all the heartache once we get our BFP...and that's not the case.

I'd call her up (as an email can be too impersonal) and tell her that while I know it's the last thing she wants to hear...I'd like her to know from me instead of being kept in the dark because I value her friendship and love her. I'd even tell her that I understand if she needs some time away from me etc. After that I'd make sure to never mention my pregnancy unless she asked!! And even then just keep it short!


I really hope this is your lucky month hun!!

 

[jellybeanxx]

Both my best friend and I were ltttc. We put a plan in place ages ago about how we'd tell each other if one of us got a bfp. For both of us we wanted to tell each other in person. When I got my bfp last month I did have a wobble about whether I should tell her husband first to prepare her, but I stuck to the plan and told her in person. It wasn't easy for either of us (admittedly probably worse for her) and I felt really guilty but I was glad we'd made that plan.