I am being selfish here?

[orange-sox]

Well as most will know, it's coming up to Mothers Day here in the Uk, and now I've found out my OH is planning on going home to see his family over the weekend that mothers day falls... thus leaving me on my own The living situation we have right now prevents me from going with him, especially as he's going for over a week, and I need to be here to go to work.

I understand that he hasn't been home since xmas, but surely he must see that I'm going to need his support on what should have been my first mothers day albeit with Seb still inside me, but you get what I'm saying.

I just feel like everything in this life is against me right now

 

[Shelby2007]

Oh honey have you talked to him about this.. maybe he could go sooner - so he could be back for Mothers Day weekend..

We are all here for you.

 

[orange-sox]

I have done and he said that I'll be okay, and he's always at the end of the phone if I need him. I can understand that he wants to be with his mum on mothers day, but what about me, I mean I am the mother of his son! I don't like being angry, but sometimes it gets the better of me, I went outside to scream at myself after my first post!

 

[Daisydo]

well first of all sorry for your loss. I also have lost a baby so can say from experience that its not just about thinking so sadly alll the time and about making everything around you and others revolve around you and OH losing one of the most precious things. Things are tough right now and will be for a long time but make the best of things and things will get better. i hope i dont sound mean but you will get over this and you OH should be there for you if not in person, in spirit. hang in there my thoughts are with you.

 

[Peach Blossom]

Oh, hon. You're not being selfish at all. It is going to be a tough day for you and of course you want your OH with you. Is there anyone who can come and be with you if he does go? We'll all be here for you too... not the same I know.

 

[polo_princess]

 

[jen1604]

Oh hun,I dont think you're being selfish.
Are you on good terms with his mum?Could you give her a call and explain the situation?Im sure she would agree with you and tell your Oh to be with you on that day.
xxxxxxx

 

[orange-sox]

it its not just about thinking so sadly alll the time and about making everything around you and others revolve around you and OH losing one of the most precious things. Things are tough right now and will be for a long time but make the best of things and things will get better.

It's a bit tough for me to make the best of things when my son hasn't actually been buried yet, I'm sorry if I come across as biting back here but it's only just over a week since I delivered my son, and I'm not in the right place to think happily about anything yet.

 

[holly81]

Oh hun I'm so sorry to hear this. You're not being selfish at all! I really don't know what to say except maybe speak to him again nearer the time? I don't think men realise how devastating m/c is for us - mine is a total sweetheart but he thought I'd just "get over it" and didn't realise until he had weeks of me suddenly crying at the most unexpected moments that it doesn't work that way!
I'm dreading Mother's Day too. Whatever happens it's going to be hard this year. I don't know what to say except to send you

 

[Daisydo]

orange sox ....i really do apoligise thats what i was afraid of...i guess the wording was not the right way..i only hope you will feel better soon...things are hard now and just get through it the way you know how... take care hun.

 

[Las78]

Oh hun, so sorry.

The first few weeks are so hard, you're in my thoughts.

Personally hun I would tell him exactly how you feel, after my m/c I know I was selfish and for the first time in my life I've felt quite ok about being that way. I lost my precious baby, I needed people to acknowledge the fact he was my baby not just a m/c and most of all I needed my OH there and it is him and my 2 little one's that got me through. Explain to him how you feel and if you do feel that you're being selfish tell him, but also explain that right now you need him, I know I needed my OH like never before (I'm normally miss independant wouldn't dare let my OH think I needed him lol) but after my m/c I was more than ok with showing him how much I needed him.

Why not suggest doing something extra special for his Mum on her birthday and suggest surprising her or something, I'm rubbish at thinking up different ideas but something to make up for him not being there on Mothers day.

Hun, you need to think about you right now. It does take time x

 

[Chilli]

What a horrible situation, you poor thing. We buried our little one yesterday and it has helped, so I hope it will hlep you too. As far as Mother's day is concerned it must be hard for every woman who ever lost a child, but it's so raw for us this year eh? I can't advise you because i don't really know you, but if it was my OH I would wnat him to stay too. But these men, they do hang on to their Mummy's!!! Do you think it's his way of dealing with it? Perhaps if you can use others to help you get through the day without letting it interfere too much with your relationship. I wish I could help more...

 

[princess_bump]

i don't think its selfish at all honey, i can completely understand you needing your OH there, especially now x x x