I am starting to dread the weekends

[MoonLove]

My daughter is in nursery three hours a day at nursery, but even with the occasional morning/afternoon with her at grandparents house, i never really get a 'break'. I hurry about to get the washing, baby, cleaning done and then it's time to pick her up. I have a three month old baby too.

I have found myself dreading the weekends. I had one of the worst days of my life on Monday bank hol when me, my husband and grandparents were at home doing decorating - i had to tirelessly entertain her in the house, there were several crying fits and i was exhausted from playing picnic with toys by midday. I literally played toys nonstop from 11am until 6pm, with her on my own.
We usually go out to break up the long days, but after a busy Sat & Sun, we thought we'd take it easy on the Monday. I was shattered and in tears.

Anyway, this week has been fairly smooth, same old routine, morning then nursery then evening then bed, the weekdays are easy enough to get through and find things to do - but we've no plan for what to do for two days weekend. It fills me with anxiety, before i get her out of bed i think to myself 'oh god oh god oh god how am i going to pass this day!!' - and the days when things go to hell by midday are just absolutely terrible. We'll often do something like swimming, park, shopping etc, then get lunch out or make it at home, hang around and play in the garden and then wind down to bed.

I don't have a plan for this weekend and my husband is recovering from illness so we can't travel too far. Grandparents often see us both days of weekend, but they don't tend to have LO themselves. She always wants to be with me and will follow me round all day long.

I am already stressing. I imagine we'll get more decorating done, but i've refused to stay in the house and play toys again all day. I'll have to contrive something to do out of the house, but god some days i just want to lay on the sofa and snooze all day without having to think about anything!!! My husband doesn't get any 'time off' either, he works 5 days in the week and his weekends are spent discussing what thing that we don't really want to do that we can do to entertain LO!!!

Does anyone else feel like this!?

 

[alibaba24]

I remember feeling this way when my daughter was 3/4. the dread of getting up for the day the relief when she was asleep for the night. how awful does that sound ?! I love the girl to pieces but I soon learnt that it was actually Anxiety making me feel that way. and once I managed to get my anxiety under control the way I felt about my LO changed and I enjoyed her company so much more than I did previously. slightly different though because my daughter (until recently) has always preffered solitary play. but with her having a language disorder I felt I was always working my butt off and stressing about her speech and language

 

[lisa1980]

How old is your daughter?

This might not be a popular suggestion but would she watch a film or play a game on an iPad/tablet with you?

When DS2 was a newborn I was constantly BF him and would feel really guilty about the amount of time I spent on the sofa so I downloaded some fun apps on my iPad (the CBeebies one is good and educational) and would let DS1 sit with me and play for a while. Although you're still engaging with her it's a bit more restful than 'active' play. Sometimes after a hard night with the newborn i'd download a film for us to watch. He wouldn't usually want to watch the whole thing in one go but would at least sit quietly for a while.

 

[Boomerslady]

Just wanted to give Ben was and is such a handful, filling days with him is always full of anxiety in case if tantrums etc (he's got much better now but at 3/4 it was hell) all I can say is it will get better!! Instead of getting so anxious can you think of a few things you can all do and then rotate each weekend? A trip to the park/woods/soft play/swimming perhaps?

 

[CandyDay]

When you are doing stuff around the house can you give her an easy job to help you out. If your wiping off the table or dusting etc give her a cloth so she can "help out". And with your baby can your older daughter get you things to help out like grab a diaper wipe for you. Or bring the baby a toy/soother. When your decorating give a job that she can do that will help. Have her help get out the meal items. Yes I know it may not be a huge help but every little bit helps.
If she likes colouring ask her to make you a picture or something for the grandparents that she can give them when they come over.
The weather is getting nicer so going for a walk or helping you out in the garden will give her something active to do.

 

[Cattia]

I am lucky that my older two entertain one another at home and pay together. Even so, I wouldn't contemplate staying in for the whole day. If I have just one of them on their own I'll always arrange to meet friends with kids so that have a playmate. My DS in particular constantly asks for his friends and hates days where we don't see people. Getting other people involved and having a plan to get out every day is key to my sanity!

 

[zorak]

I must be a really mean Mummy but I fully expect my LO to play independently. I will set him up with activities (and do of course play with him from time to time) but if we are home he plays independently a lot. Do you have a play room or anything like that?

Maybe in future if you are stuck at home tell LO that mummy will play for x amount of time then LO needs to occupy themself.

 

[MoonLove]

I feel so on edge since last Monday being such a terrible day. Yesterday we stayed in the house for the morning, and i felt like i had to be 100% attentive to her, terrified of anything that could make her flare up into upset and tantrum. I played pretend picnic in her bedroom with her for about two hours, and when we needed to head out soon, i kept delaying getting up and ready because she'd asked for one more thing.


She can usually sit and play with her Barbies and pretend shopping and such for a good amount of time, i always need to be involved somehow (she'll buy some 'shopping' for me, i am Barbie's voice etc), but i feel as though having such a terrible experience last Monday has petrified me into being uber attentive mom. The most i can ever hope to do is hurriedly chuck the washing in the machine and click it on, then straight back to playing. It just feels a bit like a job, like i am a babysitter who needs to be watching her constantly to make sure she is entertained and happy, but it is long days spent in the house playing toys for 6 hours straight that i think to myself 'this isn't right'.


If i walk off and start doing the kitchen or tidying, she'll follow and ask to do things like wash hands - stuff that means i am then distracted and have to help her with the taps - and if i was to say anything along the lines of 'i am busy tidying' or 'go and play while i do the wahsing', she'll have a major panic attack and think i am telling her off She is extremely sensitive and i hate to make her feel like i am angry at or bored of her. She loves being around me, she is always an angel with me, but i do get exhausted.

 

[Pearls18]

I dread weekends when my husband is away because it is so exhausting trying to keep them happy, fed, cleaned etc etc by myself to then be on my own in the evening. But no I don't dread it when my husband is around because we split everything, i work during the week so it's not like I need the break exactly but after Friday with them by myself, I'm usually looking forward to hubby being home. Does your husband help entertain them, look after them etc? In the early days especially hubby would take over and I would sometimes go out for a couple of hours to get a drink (non alcoholic!) or window shop, just to clear my mind from being with them 24/7, it can be stifling.

 

[Boomerslady]

I do feel your pain!!! I have to pre warn Ben on nearly everything, so if I had to go have a bath/tidy up etc, I say in 5 mins I'm going to do X what would you like to do? Geveralky its a film and snack, or playdoh, or the iPad but as I'm about to go I say right I'm off to do x now, I'll be 10 minutes, do you have what you need. So that he doesn't follow me....your LO might be too young at the moment but at around 4 it worked. It might help her not think your leaving her etc.

 

[Rhio92]

My son's not at school yet, but goes to nursery 3 days a week. My OH is a nurse and works 13 hour days. I dread the days when he is at work and connor isn't at nursery. The day drags by, and I end up getting stressed out trying to entertain him. My anxiety often stops me from leaving the house, and days like that are literally hell. It helps to get out at least once, whether to the park or even just a wall around tesco. Then we watch a film or play a game togethe.

 

[alibaba24]

I dont think i have ever played with my daughter for 2 straight hours. Im just not imaginative enough for that and my daughter gets bored way too quickly and flits from one thing to the next. feel your pain x