I am turning into the worst paranoid mum!!!

Discussion in 'Baby Club' started by charlie07, Sep 29, 2008.

  1. charlie07

    charlie07 Well-Known Member

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    Hi all

    Well I am turning into a paranoid mum!!!!!!!!

    To start with I am constantly checking Gabbi to make sure she's not too hot and has not thrown up and is choking!! I have nightmares about losing her and is now disturbing my sleep which is not good at all.

    To make matters worse, a friend of mine has just got a new grand daughter, slightly premature, and the parents woke the other morning and found her blue! She had been sick and her throat had got blocked. She's ok but this has just made me worse, I am constantly on pins!

    Then yesterday, I gave Gabbi her bottle (breast feeding and formula at the mo, hope to get back to just breast), an hour later I was holding her on my shoulder and she just threw up, like projectile, thick as had been slightly digested, loads of it and it scared the living daylights out of me. Then again I put her down after making sure she was winded and went to check on her a few mins later and she threw up again, but more liquid as milk not digested properly. OH says I had her on my shoulder too long and the constant pressure on her belly was probably the cause! Could it be??

    So that was at 3am. She then woke again at 5am starving, she finally slept at 6.00, but I was awake on and off listening for her throwing up! She woke this morning at 8.30 (so routine well and truly out the window today!) and wouldn't sleep for ages. She had formula, then breast, then formula again all in the space of 2 hours!!! I wonder if I'm feeding her too much, but I don't give into demand feeding unless she is not settling at all.

    I keep wondering if my paranoia is down to the fact that I need someone to look at what I'm doing and to tell me that I am doing it all right, that she is dressed well so not too cold or hot, her bedding is correct, she's not too hot, etc etc. My mum is coming over in 2 weeks, so I am hoping that she can put my mind at rest, but it's gonna be a long 2 weeks wait!! Can anyone tell me what Gabbis temperature should be???

    Please tell me I'm not the only one who's totally over the top????!!!! OH says it's cause I'm a new mum and want everything to be perfect for Gabbi and want to do a god job, but it's getting worse, I can feel it!!

    Thank you in advance for any help girls
     
  2. lady3

    lady3 Well-Known Member

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    I don't think you're over the top. You are a 1st time mum with all the worries that go with it. I also have a friend with a baby who was a month older than Marlowe who passed away from sids a few weeks ago. I have been ultra paranoid about her breathing too since then. It's gotten better as time has passed though, and you will too.

    Saying this, I have heard of mums who get post pregnancy anxiety. It's a form of pnd and if you continue to feel quite panicked and anxious, this might be the case. Just keep an eye on it.

    Remember you are a mummy and we want what's best for our little ones. This tends to make us paranoid over-the-top people at times. Even the most natural mothers who have done it all before get like this! hugs
     
  3. Carolyn

    Carolyn Well-Known Member

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    it's normal to be worried but try not to think of what might happen, you'll not have time to enjoy gabbi being little...

    i have 'what if' thoughts, and i'm always saying to others 'do you think she's too hot...?' 'when did we change her nappy? do you think she's done a number 2?'i ave to stop myself. i also think it gets easier when you've got to know your lo a bit better.

    trust your instincts. about the sick...i think they can jut have sicky days..?

    (i'm obviously no expert here!):hug:
     
  4. charlie07

    charlie07 Well-Known Member

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    Thanks girls. It is hard, very hard, if I don't check on her I feel like I'm neglecting her and if I do I feel like an over the top mum!! And I read that SIDS can happen from anywhere from newborn to 12 months, gonna be a long year.

    Like I said, maybe it's because I am on my own here, OH is fabulous and Gabbi loves him (daddys girl, she doesn't cry when he changes her nappy!!), OH's mum doesn't speak English, plus it's not my mum, I know I'll feel better once my mums been here.

    Thanks again girls x
     
  5. isil

    isil Well-Known Member

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    people might hate me saying this but I really think that if SIDS is going to happen, it's going to happen for some babies. Of course there are things you can do to limit it like feet to foot and making sure they're not to hot etc. But it's something that I'm not as paranoid about as I thought I'd be - don't get me wrong, I'm way more anxious than I should be about other things!

    Ally projectile vomited in hospital a lot (they were overfeeding him with the tube) and they weren't actually that concerned about it. One neonatal nurse just put his head to the side after every feed and another nursing assistant person put him on his side and kind of tucked him in so he couldn't roll (although it's something that I'll NEVER be doing...). He's still sick a lot now but it's mainly when we move him too quickly or if his tummy is pressing on something (like your shoulder).
     
  6. Serene123

    Serene123 Guest

    Just because SIDS is going to happen to some babies does not mean you shouldn't be warey of it. That said, I lost ALOT of sleep when Caitlyn was first born, for all the same reasons you have mentioned. Now I co-sleep and we're just fine. :)
     
  7. isil

    isil Well-Known Member

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    I didn't say you shouldn't be wary of it. I just think that you can do everything for a baby to limit the risk but it still might happen for an unknown and very unfair reason. That's what I tell myself anyway, or else I wouldn't sleep at all.
     
  8. charlie07

    charlie07 Well-Known Member

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    I am gonna have a chat with my mum as to the type of monitor she will bring me from the UK. I have done some searching and found a monitor that has a sensor pad which you pace under where your baby sleeps, the revues on these monitors seem quite promising.

    I agree that we could do all the right things and at the end of the day, some things we just can not control, BUT if I do everything I can then at least I can say I did all I could for my baby, my little girl, light of my life. It will give me piece of mind, help me relax a little more and get on with raising my little angel.

    As for the sleeping position. I did all the reading and chatting with my sisters/friends with kids and all say sleep on back with head turned to the side. Well in the hospital here in BG, they sleep the babies on their side with a towel to keep them from rolling. I also chatted to a friend of mine who gave birth in April, she too went through the paranoia and has said she is going to give me a special pillow for he front to stop her rolling on to her belly. So would you say sleeping on her side is good or bad?? It does make sense, on her side, if she's sick, the vomit will drop out of her mouth as I have noticed she does not like her head on one side for too long when on her back.

    As for the sickness, she's not sick when I breast feed but unfortunately, I am not producing enough milk to breast feed full time, hence the formula, of which she is more sickly. I noticed before, she had been a little sick when asleep, just a bit, I know it can happen, but this does nothing to relive the worry.

    I am enjoying being with Gabby, her little smiles and giggles when she's dreaming, her gorgeous wide eyes string into mine when she's awake, the little squeaky noises she makes earning her the nickname Little mouse, she's adorable. I will chat with my mum soon, I'm sure she'll have a few words of wisdom for me :)

    Thanks again for your messages girls x
     
  9. Ratty

    Ratty Well-Known Member

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    I was about to suggest you get a monitor to keep an eye on the breathing. I've got one and if I didn't I probably would never have let me LO sleep in his own room. Only downside is now that he is a bit older he wriggles and moves of the mat which sets the monitor off and I wake up in an absolute panic. They are fantastic though and if I had to recommend one thing to new parents that would be it.

    With the vomiting while sleeping, we were told to put our LO on his side with a blanket propped up behind his back. That was if he did get sick it wouldn't go back into his throat and cause him to choke.

    And don't worry, there are lots of us paranoid mums out there. Rather over the top than the other way round!
     
  10. 1st_baby

    1st_baby Guest

    I am A worry fart as DH calls me lol I would not sleep well because i was always worrying about max throwing up and choking and what not so DH went out to by the Angel care monitors ..they are made for SIDS and to ease the parents worry ..basically if he stops breathing for 15 seconds the alarm goes off and boy dose it wake you up ..the first time it went off he had stopped breathing due to his nose being stuffed with boggeys so I cleaned him up and he went back down ( I didnt lol ).

    There are levels of sensability so if you have a baby that moves allot in the crib it wont give you false alarms
     

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