I came out on facebook! I am so proud!

[no_regrets_91]

Ok so on thanksgiving I found out that my SIL is pregnant with her second and it has been bugging me since than. Well last night we had a good friend over and I was drinking alot. I told my friend (guy) about our struggle. He asked me why it was so important for us to have a baby. this opened up the conversation and I told him EVERYTHING! Well I guess you can call it a drunken epiphany but I felt so empowered being able to get through to someone that was so ignorant about infertility.
I have been struggleing for a while about my purpose in life if I can't be a mom. I think I have found it. I want to educate others about infertilty I am not sure how I will do this but i figure that there has to be a reason that we are going through this.

So I decided to come out on facebook. I thought that this was a good start for now. I know that others have already taken this step but I am just so proud of myself. I guess I am kind of gloating a little. I'm going to add a link to my facebook profile so anyone who wants to can friend me.
Have a good one

 

[lovie]

That is so brave! well done you I bet it was a comfort to some of your friends going through their own secret lttc journys to know they are not alone... hopefully soo youwill be anouncing your bfp on facebook!

 

[wonderstars]

Good for you! Sounds like it has really lifted you. Wish I had the cajones to do the same !

 

[Armywife84]

Congratulations!! Hopefully, you will find some of your friends on your list are LTTCers too! That happened to me, when I came out about it on FB. Have a few ladies who offer additional support outside of BNB.

 

[no_regrets_91]

Thank you everyone!

I just sent a request to RESOLVE to start a peer led support group in my area. I will no longer sit on the sidelines!

 

[NorthStar]

Wow well done! I hate FB now, in particular one friend has overshared her pregnancy and baby so much, but in general I just hate it.

 

[cooch]

Wow, what a great attitude you have. Please spread it about, lol xx

 

[Amber3]

wow you are very brave. I would probably never... though when we hopefully within the next few years become adoptive parents, it will be evident for everyone anyways.
All the best wishes,
Amber

 

[StorkStalker]

Congratulations NO_REGRETS that´s very brave!! It scares me out to do so.. I think most of my close facebook friends either know directly (we were very open about wanting a child early on, and when I finally became pregnant made an announcement, that I had to regret so soon after our loss, have been mute on fb about our thing ever since)... May I ask you how did you came out.. Was it a short status, a long one?? I usually use fb to say happy birthday or see pictures of friends who are far away, family, etc... but lately a highschool friend has been making constant grumpy updates about her pregnancy and how it interferes with work, and how she is bloathed etc.. I wouldn´t mind to censor her.. but it made me wonder if people only knew what it feels to live something like LTTC maybe they would have second thoughts about complaining on their blessings... IDK..
If you would like to share how it was you finally did it I would love to know... I don´t know if any of my fb friends are LTTC since it´s so hard to be open about it... If someone came out I would probably inbox them with support and share a little... but not openly... and it´s not that I´m ashamed or anything, it´s just that no one ever talks about any of this on real life... And when we do everyone is so awkward about it (my experience)...
Anyway, big congrats and big hug!!

 

[no_regrets_91]

Congratulations NO_REGRETS that´s very brave!! It scares me out to do so.. I think most of my close facebook friends either know directly (we were very open about wanting a child early on, and when I finally became pregnant made an announcement, that I had to regret so soon after our loss, have been mute on fb about our thing ever since)... May I ask you how did you came out.. Was it a short status, a long one?? I usually use fb to say happy birthday or see pictures of friends who are far away, family, etc... but lately a highschool friend has been making constant grumpy updates about her pregnancy and how it interferes with work, and how she is bloathed etc.. I wouldn´t mind to censor her.. but it made me wonder if people only knew what it feels to live something like LTTC maybe they would have second thoughts about complaining on their blessings... IDK..
If you would like to share how it was you finally did it I would love to know... I don´t know if any of my fb friends are LTTC since it´s so hard to be open about it... If someone came out I would probably inbox them with support and share a little... but not openly... and it´s not that I´m ashamed or anything, it´s just that no one ever talks about any of this on real life... And when we do everyone is so awkward about it (my experience)...
Anyway, big congrats and big hug!!

HI
I am sorry about your loss. hopefully you will get a sticky bean soon. I found that it ok to censor people on fb or to just delete them all together. I just deleted my SIL but when I saw her the other day I told her that I did it and why. She already knows that we are having problems and she is very understanding. She told my husband that she was pregnant (her second, but she is 12 yrs older than me) before she ever told anyone else and then my husband told me. They didn't want to ambush me with the news in front of anyone and thought it would be better to tell me not in person so I could deal with it how I needed to. but like I said I deleted her she is not one to complain about being pregnant because she had a mmc in 2008 and it took her a year after that to concieve her son so she kind of knows what it is like. I just can't handle u/s pics, not sure why but I cry ever time.

Sorry that turned into a ramble. Now to the question... When I came out I just simply posted "I am no longer hiding" and then I liked the pages for resolve, 999 reasons to laugh at infertility and a few others. I also posted a link to a bill that RESOLVE is trying to pass and I asked everyone to send a letter to legislation to help all of US experiencing infertility.

The reason why I came out is kind of long but if you want to know I wrote about it in my blog titled "advice". Along with what I posted there it also had alot to do with a good friend (not sure if I mentioned that in the post)he asked me why it was so important that we have a child so I told him EVERYTHING and it felt so exilerating being able to get someone so ignorant about infertility to understand as much as they possible could w/o actually going through it themselves. so I decided that I wanted to make it my mission to tell everyone that will ask.

Sorry this is really long winded! But thank you for asking!

 

[StorkStalker]

Hi.. Thank you for your answering!! And for your support too!! Deeply appreciated.. Oh.. I wish I had the guts to delete some people on fb.. I decided to just use it less and less.. I did delete my MIL though, since we are not even close to being friends on real life (that´s a long story) so I figured she didn´t need to have access to any information on my part...

I like how you did it!! It´s great that there´s a bill passing that you can ask for people to support... And now people will know and respect that aspect of your life too.. I have found that going through Unexplained Infertility and LTTC has made me more understanding and thoughtful of other people´s ordeals... to the point when I post a nice pic with me and DH on it I wonder if there´s someone out there going through a bad break up/divorce and my find my post upsetting... I never did post much to begin with... But now I wonder how many people out there are not talikng about their very big issue, just like I do not talk about mine...

I think your way of coming out is exceptional!! I will definitely read more on your Journal.. I have been irked with so many "just adopt" responses (among other things while going through infertility) that I think there really needs to be more education about how hard this can be... I mainly just shut up and cry on the inside, or come on in here and vent, or read, or share, but it would be so nice to be able to tell someone what he/she needs to hear... So, I feel very proud of you!!! Thanks for sharing your story in here, and I hope you get your BFP soon...

I´m always around here... I don´t post as much, but I read and I love that this forum even exists... LTTC can feel so lonely...

Congrats again!!

 

[NellyVille]

Well done you!! I SO wish I could "come out" but I just couldn't handle the pitying comments and whatnot. I have 2 of my best friends and my Mum and that's it, and I only told one of the 2 friends because she is also my boss and I need to keep arranging time off to go to hospital appointments.

On the other hand, going public would put a stop to all the "bout time you had a kid" type comments I get on an almost daily basis!

 

[Damita]

wow well done you! You are so brave prob with infertility makes us embarrassed and it shouldn't, we should enlighten people.

 

[blueeyedgirl1]

Wow, that took guts. I've been thinking about doing the same but haven't been sure. Going to talk to OH about it and then just go for it, I think.

 

[Lisa92881]

That is amazing, and it brought tears to my eyes just reading it. Good for you.

 

[Armywife84]

999 reasons to laugh at infertility blog is great! It makes you feel better chuckling at some of those entries.

I've been reading the RESOLVE website for tips to cope and some on there are fantastic. Only problem with RESOLVE is that the groups are all in the Great Lake area. Hopefully, they get back to you on setting something up in your state.

When you "come out on FB", you find out that there are others suffering from losses or LTTC too. I have about 2 friends struggling to conceive at the moment. At first I got a lot of, "It will happen", and "Why don't you adopt?" garb..but it's now ceased since it's coming on 2 years. Unfortunately some FB friends aren't anymore considerate about their announcements, versus when they didn't know.