No judging here hun, to be honest I would do the same. It's such a difficult decision to make and I am really keeping my fingers crossed you don't have to go down that road. Tuesday is not to far away now. What time is your appointment? Please let us know how you get onx
My appointment got moved to Thursday. My insurance and the doctor I was scheduled with couldn't agree about whether or not the doctor was in network for me. It seemed to depend on who called to verify. So I switched to a doctor who is in network no matter who calls. It's a difference between the procedure costing me a few hundred bucks or a few thousand.
I read a lot on T18. I know there are stories out there of babies making it past a year but it's incredibly rare. And I can't bear to put her through such a poor quality of life or sit around and wait for a miscarriage. My husband and I talked about it and we are on the same page.
I sort of wonder if all babies go through a period of a heart arrhythmia. They're busy building all of the electrical pathways while their heart is running. It'd make sense that at some point, it'll cause a small hiccup until it's complete. And perhaps many aren't getting an ultrasound during that particular phase?
I do have a couple of bright spots in life that appeared within the last few days.
I think we've found a name for her. Abigail Ruth, Abbie for short. It's at the top of our list. It's not official, but it sure sounds right. She's due on my late grandmother's birthday so we wanted her middle name to be my grandmother's. I hope naming her won't make this harder if things don't go our way but she's important to me. I've seen her wiggling on ultrasound. She deserves a name.
If I hadn't already mentioned, someone finally came and bought my motorcycle. This means we can pay off some medical bills from when I had to go to the emergency room before getting pregnant. If our daughter has T18, we can pay for the termination. If she's healthy, excluding any extenuating circumstances, we can pay for the delivery all without going into debt.
We can also pay for repairs to the car since my husband wrecked it last week and not struggle to pay bills.
Also, DH is due for a promotion and a position opened up near the coast. I've always wanted to live near the ocean so I have my fingers crossed.
I took up painting with watercolor as a way to try and control my anxiety and sadness about all of this. At times, it feels like I'm already grieving her loss which I feel guilty about because we don't have a solid answer. I know I shouldn't give up on her yet. Half the time I think she has T18. Then half the time I think she's okay.
You ladies have been a Godsend to me. Thank you so much for your thoughts and prayers and any appendages you're crossing for my little girl.
there are lots of stories on this forum where people have been told things are wrong and had an amnio to find out everything is perfect 
