I can't believe I'm over here. I'm so numb

[Fit_Mama2Be]

Hugs Peanutt, I hope you are not miscarrying. Can you call the genetic counselor and/or hospital who is handling the testing to arrange for another scan to find out?

Before our last baby could be formally diagnosed with Trisomy 13 we went to listen to his heartbeat with the doppler and couldn't find it for the first time ever. The next morning I called the genetic counselor who was arranging our testing and she had me brought in for an u/s that day - sadly in our case our baby had passed away.

It didn't matter at all to them that I didn't have a formal diagnosis yet - I was given the option of a d&c or being induced. I was not as far along as you but was still told I was too far along to miscarry at home, so I can't imagine them suggesting that to you.

So sorry you're going through this.

 

[twinmummy06]

Oh peanut I'm sorry it may not be happening to plan at your gestation I'd say they'll have you at hospital though?

For what it's worth, once we found out our baby had passed away we booked a d&c as I also couldn't bare to see her. I was so scared and just wanted everything over with ASAP.

Well it turns out that the cytotec used to help dilate me before the d&c worked very quickly and I had her natural in the shower first. And I tell you what I am so, so happy it ended up that way. I have pictures of my little angel to look back on, even if she wasn't perfect she was ours and beautiful to me It definitely helped me to grieve our little girl.

 

[lizlemon]

I'm sorry your going through this - when I lost mine at 20w I went through labour, which was hard but I'm so glad I did as I got to hold and see my baby girl, took photos etc. my husband didn't want too but on the day he did too - both of us look upon it as one of the best moments of our life as we got to meet our child. Personally I think it's very good for closure xxxx
Ps u don't think they would just send you home as a second tri loss is different to first tri loss as you have the placenta that needs to be delivered fully too xxx

 

[Peanutt]

Just to update
I stopped spotting, thank God.
I don't know how you strong ladies were able to see and hold your child. That would just rip my heart out.

I haven't been feeling well for the last week or so. I think my thyroid is probably too high still. I see my endocrinologist on Tuesday. I'm looking forward to it because I desperately want to feel better. I have no energy.

DH is starting to get frustrated with me because I don't want to go out with friends. I hate crying in front of people and I know I'd be on the verge the entire time. I know my friends would understand if I did break down. I just don't want to because once I start, I can't stop for at least an hour.
And sitting there putting on a stiff upper lip is miserable.

 

[lizlemon]

IF it comes to it you'll find strength, I never thought I would but I did. Men are funny about this sort of thing and emotions - well my dh is, I think crying is very good outlet and I didn't want to see people either so you are completely normal!
IF it comes to it and you don't see your lo, please as the midwives to photo the baby and take foot and hand prints so that if you every do want to see you have the option down the line xxxx

 

[brokenoven]

Oh I'm so sorry to hear you had more trouble with the lab. As if you needed anything else to worry about. I don't really know what else to say other than you are in my thoughts each and every day, you and your little peanut. I don't think they will let you miscarry. At this point you may have to deliver but I'm not certain. I just hope whatever happens it's not much more painful on your precious heart. Xxxx I'm so glad you got a puppy. What kind did you get?

 

[Jessicahide]

I am so sorry and shocked to hear everything you have been going through xxx sending my love xxx

 

[Heather.1987]

.

 

[Peanutt]

Woke up this morning and my liner was soaked with brown blood. Wiped and I had rust colored discharge with dark brown clots. I don't have any pain though.
I'm about a week and a half out from my amnio so I'm not sure if it could still be from that. It took them 20 minutes to get it because I have a fibroid in the way.

I left a message with the doctor who did the amnio. My regular OB is out of town. I'm not sure if I have an infection or what?

 

[Septie]

I am sorry to say, but I think it may well be possible that your body has recognized that your baby is sick and you are heading towards a miscarriage/stillbirth. Can you head to a pregnancy unit for an ultrasound to see if baby is even still alive?
I've been following your story, and I am so so sorry. And I must say, you've been superbly unfortunate with all your tests (My maternit21 took 5 days!). All this uncertainty and you are now so far along Much strength to you

 

[Peanutt]

I am sorry to say, but I think it may well be possible that your body has recognized that your baby is sick and you are heading towards a miscarriage/stillbirth. Can you head to a pregnancy unit for an ultrasound to see if baby is even still alive?
I've been following your story, and I am so so sorry. And I must say, you've been superbly unfortunate with all your tests (My maternit21 took 5 days!). All this uncertainty and you are now so far along Much strength to you

That's what I think too.

The doctor who did the amnio says I'm too far out for it to be from the procedure and says that brown isn't anything to worry about.
Yeah right.
My regular OB is out of town right now.

I'd have to go to the ER for an ultrasound which comes with a huge bill.

Has anyone ever had a baby die in utero and get sick from it? I've had a general ill feeling, nothing specific. No fever. But I know my thyroid is out of whack too. I see my endocrinologist tomorrow.

 

[lizlemon]

Oh peanutt, it's just so unfair and I'm sorry you can just get a scan to stop the worry. If lo has passed they could cause you an infection, any sign of a fever, vomiting, extreme headache etc go in ASAP xxx

 

[Peanutt]

I spoke with my doctor's nurse (she called to check up on me-she's been so sweet through all of this). She said for me to pop in about 3 and they'll at least check for a heartbeat.
So I guess if my doctor isn't there, one of his partners will look at me.

 

[NerdyMama]

Hey... I've been silently following. I hope your appointment gives you some answers. Best of luck to you at this extremely hard time. *hugs* you are in my thoughts hun.

 

[Peanutt]

Diagnosed with Threatened Miscarriage.
They did another detailed ultrasound and the baby (who they say is a boy) looks like a classic Trisomy 18 baby.
They still can't find a stomach or bladder. Still has an arrhythmia. Legs are crossed due to deformities. Measuring two weeks behind at this point. Has at least one clubbed foot. And on and on. All classic signs of Trisomy 18.
The doctor thinks my body has recognized something is very wrong with the baby and a miscarriage is imminent. He said this could go on for weeks or it could be this week.
He said a D&E would be easier on both of us (me and the baby) rather than let it happen naturally or get induced. He's not pushing us either way, just giving the facts. Of course we have to wait for the results from the amnio which is due in 2 days before anything besides a natural miscarriage can happen.
As of today, he's still alive. But basically, the end for this little one is near.

 

[Bunanie]

Oh peanutt, I'm so so sorry to hear that. I took the option of D&C when cvs came back positive for T13. Baby was still alive (it sounds horrible ) they told me t13 bubs don't usually make it to full term. I didn't want to go thru any further pain, mentally and physically, just wanted to close the chapter with D&C

 

[Love4you]

Oh Peanutt, I just read your whole story. This is all so unfair. I am so very sorry.
My prayers are with you and your sweet baby.

 

[NerdyMama]

I'm so sorry

 

[Peanutt]

I didn't want to go thru any further pain, mentally and physically, just wanted to close the chapter with D&C

I'm at the same place. I just want to close the chapter. But I have two more long days to wait for test results.

Sad that it sort of brightened my day when my doctor said "And you know, maybe get the D&E done on Friday."
I so badly want to wake up from this nightmare. I'm so tired.

 

[Tink1o5]

Peanutt- I just read through every page. I have no experience with this but I want to say you are so strong. You have done everything you possibly could for your lo. I know it's easier said than done but try to keep your head up. I will definitely keep you in my thoughts.