I can't wipe my own ass anymore

[NotNic]

This thread is hilarious! I've been fortunate even though my shape has been different both pregnancies, I carry small until the last few wks, so these troubles are short lived. I did attempt to do my bikini line tonight with Veet. It was a messy job but the ingrowing hairs from blind shaving were driving me nuts!

 

[Lovetoteach86]

I agree with the shaving the lady garden part, but I am confused on the butt wiping part. Some of you are saying you now have to reach behind you to wipe, like you didn't do that before. I thought everyone reached around the back to wipe their butt, how can you reach between your legs in front and still wipe front to back? I mean I can picture it, but it seems really awkward...

 

[sg0720]

Lol idk I thought it was normal

 

[hotslinthesun]

Oh my goodness, I cannot stop laughing!!!! Maybe we should start a poll to see who wipes from the front and who wipes from the back and we can see what the norm is!

 

[sg0720]

Lol what a convo lol!!!

 

[gemstone]

Lol I should hope no one wipes back to front! Yuk lol
I'm giving Kim a run for her money my arse hasn't so huge that it's hard to reach! My ankle to arse ratio is bang on! My hubby is in heaven Hahahaha

 

[SoBlessedMama]

I think I've lost my filter. But this thread is pretty funny.

A client last night offered me some towels that she just bought but didn't exactly match her new bathroom. So I say,

"Sure! That would be awesome, thanks! Homebirths can be messy!".

She said that she couldn't believe I said that and when I asked my husband if I crossed a line, he said " you're the reason we can't have nice things".

I've just become too comfortable with being uncomfortable I guess. I have no shame.

Lol this thread has only gotten funnier today!! Pregnancy (and childbirth!) definitely cause you to lose all filters and any sense of shame lol. After my c-section with my first son, I had a spinal headache from the anesthesia. It was terrible, and every time I sat up, I felt like I was going to die. After they do a blood patch to help repair the source of the fluid loss which causes the headache, you're supposed to drink a ton of caffeine to tighten up blood vessels (or something like that--not sure, because it is the only time I had a doctor tell me to drink Coke like crazy lol.) Anyway, I remember getting out of bed to go to the bathroom (#2) and this already terrified me because I was scared to push with staples in my belly. Then on top of that, the headache was 1000% worse when I wasn't laying down. And I can vividly remember sitting on the toilet, trying to poop, holding my splitting head, and hollering at my husband to bring me a Dr. Pepper. Lol when he walked in there, I was almost in tears and said, "Good grief, I used to have some sense of shame, didn't I?"

 

[StarBrites]

I reach around and wipe front to back as well! I also have a cat who likes to sit next to the toilet while I'm using it and then attacks my hand with the toilet paper as I reach around back to wipe. It's such a struggle to use the toilet these days.. hahah.

 

[Claire788]

I do back to front, from between legs.... Just googled it, and apparently it's wrong as you can get UTIs and Cystitis (sp?) but dear god I don't wipe all the way to the front?! There's the perineum in between and certainly no No2 makes it as far as my flange?!! Never had a UTI in my life!


Let's start a poll!!!!

 

[Lovetoteach86]

Lol for the poll. I reach around the back and wipe from the front to the back.

 

[roxytigers]

o my gosh haha... i never imagined ever being on a pregnancy forum and ladies talking about wiping their butts. after being so frustrated and the 20th(tomorrow) being my due date and no baby here yet, it definitly made me feel better. you ladies are awesome hehe

 

[lillylollypop]

I love this thread. I'm due in a month, so I feel things are only getting worse. When I get back from my last weekend trip before the daughters born, I will get a poll up. haha

Hope everyone has an easy ass wiping weekend

 

[sg0720]

Lol hopefully a lot of babies will be here over the weekend!!! Come on babies your mamas n daddies want to meet you! (I doubt they will listen lol)

 

[Kern]

I can still wipe my own butt luckily but I'll tell you, putting on a fresh pair of underwear has become an engineering nightmare. The struggle is real.

 

[sg0720]

Lol

 

[StarBrites]

I can still wipe my own butt luckily but I'll tell you, putting on a fresh pair of underwear has become an engineering nightmare. The struggle is real.

More often than not my fiance helps me put on my underwear... haha.

If he's home and I am getting out of the shower or bath he helps me dry off and get dressed, he puts my shoes on for me and ties them. He's such a sweetheart. It's super nice but I will be glad when I can dress and dry myself off again without struggling!

 

[newlywed2013]

I'm lucky enough that the only thing I need help with is socks and shoes, and more often than not I wear flip flops because everything else is a little too tight. Somehow I still manage with my undies and pants, somehow.

 

[SoBlessedMama]

Lol this thread makes my day!

I made the awful mistake today of wearing regular underwear instead of maternity underwear (I did this a few weeks ago, too...I should've learned my lesson.) So I spent the ENTIRE day hitching them back up over my massive belly. Every time I sat down, and every time I stood up, those stupid things rolled down like nobody's business. I'm a teacher, and I'm surprised a kid didn't catch me yanking them back up lol, because it happened no less than 80 or 90 times.

 

[NotNic]

I have this issue with maternity tights!

 

[sprite30]

Luckily my shoe laces are longer and I can rest like foot sideways reach the laces but then they end up being tied on the side of my shoe, no biggy just don't look at my feet. Lol

Underwear are funny too I've mastered the art of letting them hang getting one leg in then stretching them very far in order to reach the other leg...like who the heck though undies would be that difficult. And yes, I'm hiking them up all the time. Or adjusting.,..I have no shame anymore I adjust my pants, shirts and undies all the time.