I could cry

[FutureMommie]

I agree with all of the other ladies, she is just young, naive and insensetive and hasn't a clue that there are so many of us ladies on this forum are in our thirties and ttc our first, me included, I am 37 and ttc our first and still feeling young and fabulous, and so should you!

 

[Vickie]

I do understand why you (and the others are frustrated) but I don't think it's right to talk about the other poster in some of the ways she's been talked about here What if whoever it is sees this thread? How would it make you feel? Please keep that in mind when replying

 

[calm]

I do understand why you (and the others are frustrated) but I don't think it's right to talk about the other poster in some of the ways she's been talked about here What if whoever it is sees this thread? How would it make you feel? Please keep that in mind when replying

I opened this thread because someone was calling herself old to TTC or WTT at 23, and it made me at 34 feel awful. I don't think I bitched her, it was only about me. I have actually read many insensitive and inadequate a post by this user, and haven't even reported them (not talking about the post in question). I didn't post in the thread, because I felt very hurt and upset, and didn't want to show that vulnerability (I never do when hurt), but on the other hand wanted the reassurance of people my age from this section. I didn't want to cause pain for pain, just get my own issue of my chest. If anyone has been hurt by it I ask for honest forgiveness. I usually refrain many a post thinking it can hurt someone's (anyone's) feelings. It seems there is always something to learn and maybe yet again a post that should never have been written. Sorry again.

 

[Vickie]

I wasn't trying to make you feel bad for posting, as I said I completely understand why you were upset and why you were posting And I am sorry that you were hurt by a post on another thread

But some of the replies regarding whoever it was haven't necessarily been nice. I'm not pointing fingers just asking people to think before they post regarding another member (or another members posts) because it could cause hurt feelings.

 

[WannaB]

Hope you are feeling better calm! Its funny but the one thing that I have learnt about ttc is its all about you and your feelings and no matter how hard you try and understand others situtations your compassion can get a bit clouded at times! Now dont get me wrong, but if you had made a thread the same as this other lass, pondering on how old you were at 34 and your ttc time was slipping away I probably would have been screwing my face up here as well, Im 42 at to me 34 is the new 23! Hope Im not offending you, I guess Im just saying dont worry about what others say or do it really doesnt affect your ttc journey and remember there is always someone worse of than you are. Im sure you will have no problems at all, I have two ladies I know in their late 30's here who fell preggo straight away, ones given birth, the other is just about to next month, even this old dog has managed it! I use to go read the the ltttc journals to put my head back into place, if those women could go through all they do and still keep the pma going then so could I, they were my inspiration. Good luck to you hun, hope your ttc journey ends up short and sweet!

 

[HappyAuntie]

I apologize - I posted in haste and should have chosen my words more carefully. I love BnB and the support I've found here, and I wouldn't want to spoil the atmosphere for someone else.

(That said, though, there's a reason I don't hang out in the pregnant teens section... if she does see this thread and get upset, well, she's 23 and reading in the 35+ section... if we can't vent about it in here, what's the point in even having this section?)

 

[bunnie2]

i had my first at 24, my second at 29 and we are now trying for my third after turning 35 yesterday, i do worry now about my age, my DH is 44 this year, so i feel time ticking lol, but at 23 when i was PG the last thing i felt was old, heck, i was way young compared to alot of my friends who are only now at 33/34 PG with their first

 

[serendippy]

I cant beleive a 23 yr old wud say summit like that. Shes got 20 years on me..i wish i had 20 years on me lol.

Some people really havent got a clue!!!

 

[inkdchick]

I don't want to belittle anyones desires to have children, but I think B&B really needs to provide more places for women in different stages of fertility. Women in their 20s often don't have much in common with women in their 30s/40s, and haven't developed that 'tact' switch - it was one of the reasons I stopped hanging out at B&B, too many young 'uns in TTC banging on about every fracking symptom and declaring 'I finally got my BFP' after only three months of trying. To us old hens it can be a bit disheartening - BTW for any of my buds, under 30 who read this, you know who you are and I love you dearly.

Calm sweetie, you are always there with a nice word, you float around the forums sprinkling your happiness, once it's your turn, I hope you do get a speedy

Keep your chin you chuck

I completely agree with you on the different threads for different age groups but they are on here hun, i tend to not go on ttc thread now and just stay on NTNP or over 40's as i too was a little upset by some of the comments by the 20 somethings , its not their fault its just how they are feeling but its so much harder for us who are like me in their 40's xx

 

[AppleBlossom]

23 is young. I would consider a 23 year old to be a "young mum" tbh

 

[inkdchick]

23 is young but we have all been there

 

[seoj]

Don't ever feel you are too old to have a baby! If anything- waiting a bit (so you are more mature, responsible and financially secure) can be better!!! Everyone will have their opinions and suggestions and input... but only YOU know what is best for YOU.

I am 36 and TTC our first child together- I have a Step-daughter that lives with us full time already. She is 13 and will make an amazing older sis... and yes, it's kinda funny to think I could have a 13 and a 26 yr old at the same time... BUT whatever! Who cares- I love it!!!

I know now, more than ever, I'm ready to be a (biological) mom... shoot- when I was 23 all I cared about was dating, boozing and my friends. Now I have so much more in my life and have NO regrets! 30 is the new 20 anyway? Or haven't you heard? hehe.

GOOD LUCK AND BABY DUST!!!

 

[sequeena]

I am 21 and have been ttc for 19 months, I wish I could pregnant as quickly as everyone else does at my age

Being over 30 or even over 40 is not too old, don't let any negative comments get you down.

You're ready when you're ready. Whether that's at 16 or 50 and only you know when it's your time

for all who need them.

 

[pegara]

I completely understand. I will be 34 in Feb, and I keep hearing from friends and family about being to old to have kids. My SIL who has two kids (and is 31) is concerned that if they wait another year to have number 3 that she'll be too old... and I haven't been able to start yet. It was never my plan to wait until I was this age to have kids - I planned on starting to have kids around age 27 or 28 (I had a very specific life plan laid out). But I didn't meet my DH until I was 29, and we got married when I was 32. We've been TTC since May 09, and it's so frustrating to me that others seems to think that they know when the right age is. I am a teacher and the comments I hear from my highschool students about not having kids yet is ridiculous.

I think that you can be a great parent at any age. My father was 40 when I was born and was/is an awesome dad. Age doesn't make the parent! But that said - I feel your frustration. I break down at least once per day thinking that I'm never going to have a child.

 

[Omi]

I had a 23 year old nurse at work, who knew my history very well (2 mc's and subsequent testing) who gleefully told me she was finally gonna start ttc, just after xmas. I said that if she ever needed any tips id be happy to share, and she quipped ' im not worried, im young!'. Great. Cheers for that. Needless to say she went on to get pg at first try and is now half way through her pregnancy. Bitch..that was really not necessary, i think

 

[momtobesoon]

Hi hun, you are never too old to have children.
My aunt had her baby when she was 40, and it was a surprise.
Don't get discouraged. I am not much younger than you. People have chosen different paths and some have babies in their 30's or 40's.

 

[inkdchick]

aww thanks mumtobesoon you give me great hope as im 43 and ttc so lets hope its soon xx

 

[mummy3]

I didn't read the original post but I think the age you feel is old to get pregnant is a personal thing. I felt for me I wanted to have my kids before age 30 ( as women in my family go through the menopause early, around age 28) as I want 4 I would have considered age 23 as pushing it for starting. Luckily I met the love of my life early and we are in a position to provide.

My husbands mom, mil, didn't feel ready until she was in her 40's, had sil at 43 and my dh at 47, conceived naturally.

You go with when you feel the time is right for you, pay no mind to others

 

[ArticBaby]

Hi hun, you are never too old to have children.
My aunt had her baby when she was 40, and it was a surprise.
Don't get discouraged. I am not much younger than you. People have chosen different paths and some have babies in their 30's or 40's.

thank you, well said

 

[Seity]

Ah heck, at 36 I felt like I might still be too young to be having kids of my own. IMO 23 is still a baby. I know not all under 25's are too immature for parenthood and many are great parents. I just can't imagine it as I still felt like a child at 30.