"I didn't know I wanted that 'til you had it"

[RainbowGift]

I have a great play yard downstairs and the babies got LOTS of great toys for Christmas. My girl still is not very interested in crawling and my boy can't be contained. Pretty much any time she starts to play with anything he looks up to check it out and then starts excitedly making his way to where she is so that he can snatch it from her. She holds on tight and the back and forth begins.

Up 'til now, I have been singing a little sharing song and it distracts them and one or the other happily ends up with it naturally and they have sort of "decided" to "share". (Yeah, right!) I'm starting to realize this is going to be a HUGE issue with twins and that I need to have the constant and consistent plan/words/family-law in place for every time it occurs.

If I think of them as older, the fair thing would be to say that "your brother wants you to share that toy with him, so you play with it for another minute then you can share it... or you can share it right now" I want to stress being kind and generous with each other. Obviously, right now they are young babies and I need a simple plan that lays a good foundation for the more complex plan of the future..... Should I just distract for now and wait 'til they are able to understand.... I don't really want to just let them work it out themselves and have tugging fights 'til someone wins, but I suspect that is what a lot of people would suggest. I keep thinking there would be a good and simple little action and statement I could make that would set good ground work for future sharing........

 

[TwoBumps]

We just say who ever had it first gets to keep it for a couple more minutes but then it is their brothers turn. I think (hope?) that this teaches them that they can't just have what they want when they want it, but also that they have to share. The turn taking normally lasts a few "goes" & then one or both of them will get bored & then its on to the next toy!

 

[chetnaz]

I also do what twobumps said. If one is holding something and the other snatches it away, I go and say "no" gently and give it back to his brother. Then I find another toy that I know is a favorite of his and distract him with that. Sometimes it works. Sometimes it doesn't. But for now, until they understand sharing and reasoning i'll just carry on like this.