I dont know how to title this

Mummy_to_be87

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I was just wondering if anyone could give me any advice.

When I was pregnant with my daughter I worried about labour and birth as I had never experienced it before and when the time came I enjoyed it though I also became very anxious and uncertain of what I was meant to be doing so I panicked a lot.

This time I feel calmer about labour as I know what I am going to be up against so I can be prepared, but with your second baby do you tend to panic and get anxious and end up in the same frame of mind with your second?

I would like to think I can be more calmer and maybe even deal with the contractions without an epidural this time...has anyone got any advice or experience?
 
Going into labour first time I had a complete open mind. I figured it couldn't be that bad because loads of women do it and several of them do it more than once.

It was really really hard for me as LO was back to back and I was in labour for over 30 hours. I came out of it scared about doing it again because I didn't think I could cope with the pain again.

Its been 19 months and I'm ready to try again. This time I think I will be more nervous, especially in the run up to the actual labour. But I'm going to try and keep an open mind again. If it gets really bad I will have an epidural this time (although I would rather not the needle freaks me out!) and I know I have done it before so I will be able to do it again. Hopefully this time baby will not be back to back!
 
Im only in the very early stages of pregnancy but I can definitely relate to this: With my daughter I didn't really know what to expect and, as it happens, she was early and I delivered her back-to-back, ended up having an epidural because they put me on an induction drip due to my waters been gone for 48+ hours etc. The labour was by no means a bad one (although very long and tiring) but I really regret the way the epidural made me feel (a bit out of it) and the fact that I couldn't get off the bed and tend to my newborn (my hubby had most of those early cuddles/rocking etc).

This time round (assuming all goes well) I feel much calmer and in control; I'd really like to avoid an epi unless absolutely necessary and would like to think that I can mentally prepare myself to an extent, given that we kind of know whats coming.

I guess ultimately I always try to keep in the back of my mind that I might need intervention/major pain releif or even a C-section but I think this time round I would definitely try to stay longer at home (I went in at 4-5cm first time round) and I would try be stronger with the midwives if they started talking about interventions/heavy-duty pain relief

xxx
 
I have no experience to share but one thing that I have read and I think is helpful to know is that during labour itself certain emotional changes are supposed to be quite typical. Midwifes actually use your mental state to get an idea of what stage of labour you are in. Around the stage of transition it seems like most women have feelings of not being able to cope, not knowing what to do, panic, giving up etc. I'm sure having been through it before will help you to know you can get through it though. For me, I think knowing that it is normal to feel like that and that it is actually a sign of progress will help me to cope with it.
 
It's a lot easier the 2nd time!! You aren't shocked by the unknown, you are better prepared, and you are much more mindful of doing things that result in a good recovery.

I had an epi with #1 and nothing with #2, I didn't even think of the epi, because I didn't want the same side effects! It will help you thru it :)
 
I was much calmer with ds2 even though i ended up induced i held onto my calm right up till the last 5 min when i didnt have my TENS on and my SPD was extremely painful in fact it was worse than the delivery of ds2
 
I found that 2nd time around i was a little worse then 1st time.
However the reason was that my 1st labour ended as a emcs after progressing to 9cm but not getting any further. When i then was pregnant with my 2nd i still hadn't actually had the whole birth experience plus had already had one experience i hadn't enjoyed. I didn't worry about it the whole time or anything but i did that about it from time to time. When i actually went into labour i was fine with it. I knew what was happening and didn't go into hospital until i felt i really needed to. I did fine on the g&a and just breathing for most of the labour. Then when it got to the pushing part i panicked. This was the bit i hadn't really experienced so i didn't know how it should go. Anyhow i had an amazing midwife who explained things to me really well and i got though it :)
 

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