I don't know what to do really...

[Mangoes]

Hello ladies! I've never really posted much in this forum, but I felt I could get some relatable advice. To give you some background information, my hubby and I are both 22 years old, I recently graduated from college, I work. Hubby goes to school (will graduate next semester!) and works as well. And to state the obvious, we're expecting our first baby in June!!!

While, this is naturally a pretty happy time for us, not everyone has been all that thrilled. My mom and dad (who are seperated) are happy, his family is happy (his bio mom passed away when he was 4). However, those who aren't really happy are my extended family and a half sibling.

Ever since my mom announced the pregnancy (I live 800+ miles from the family), none of my uncles have said congrats and even began to ignore me. My grandmother, who is never happy about anything I do - even when I got a study abroad scholarship, was neither happy nor upset, just ambivalent. She thinks having kids is the worst thing a woman can do. I mean, my own mom kept her pregnancy with my youngest brother a secret, well they didn't talk for a year, so my grandmother didn't know until after his birth.

I don't have the greatest relationship with extended family for reasons that were around even before my own birth (a lot of favoritism coming from my grandmother and other family drama). So I don't know why I'm upset by their reaction or lack thereof.

Then, it got worse as even my half sibling on my dad's side reacted badly. When I was 10 weeks, I found out that my sister was barely 4 weeks pregnant and then pretty much admitted to my dad that she got pregnant on purpose with a one night stand because she didn't want me to have "the spotlight"....not that I wanted it. I'm happy that she's pregnant with her second baby but it still hurt that was her reasoning - oh she also didn't congratulate me or even acknowledge my pregnancy.

It honestly makes me feel sad and makes me feel like my little one won't be loved by their great grandma, uncles etc or should I not worry since hubby and I love baby and grandma and my brothers and my hubby's close cousin already love them? Or maybe I'm being hormonal and silly.

 

[wellsk]

I don't have a huge amount of advice, although I am in a similar position (as my DH and I have no contact with his family and I don't get along with a lot of uncles/aunts in my own family... I have several and have only been congratulated by one and no others). But all I can say is concentrate on the ones that are happy for you, rather than the ones that aren't

 

[teenpregnant]

Hi! I'm katt I have a 21 month old son and I'm pregnant with number 2, welcome to b&b! I'm sorry you are going through this with your family! You half sister sounds very very immature and it's awful she would get pregnant for that reason! My OHs dad's side hated me being pregnant and have seen our son twice and have pretty much abandoned OH because they wanted him to leave me and not be a dad at all (makes no sense to me) and my extended family didn't talk to me when I got pregnant and still haven't now. I understand why you are upset as even though I'm not very close with my extended family I couldn't understand why they treated me so badly! Oops sorry ranting.. They may come around over time as it takes some longer than others! GL x

 

[ClairAye]

I'm pretty sure OH's mum doesn't give a flying fuck about our son. But he has me and OH and other family too. Hopefully your family come around when baby is born, and if not it's definitely their loss

Btw I'm Clair, 19, I have an 18 month old little boy and I am 37 weeks pregnant with our second

 

[Cheyby]

This is a slightly different reasoning but let me tell you my story. My dads family are racist people and when my 19 year old dad informed them his indian girlfriend was pregnant. Apparently things didn't go down well. Apparently, according to my mom, my grandmother only met me when I was about 6 months and then she absolutely loved me. My grandfather only met me after a year old. They don't talk to me much and whenever they do, it's about my 3 year old half white half Muslim cousin who is literally there favourite thing on the face on the planet.
Now the reason I shared my story is because, from experience, I would rather not know them at all than know all about how I was the thing that broke the ice on racism in the family and that's why they can feel the way they do about my cousin.
As long as you and OH give baby all the love that he/she needs, they won't even care about all those other stupid people who are missing out on such a precious thing.
As for your step sister, urgh, please can I slap her? Ok, no... That won't fix anything. Well, as said before, it's her loss and you'll probably give your wanted baby more love than she will hers because, to her, the baby is merely an object.
Don't worry about them because, if they don't come around, it's their own loss. Just focus on making baby as happy as can be.

 

[Mangoes]

Thank you ladies, I do feel a lot better knowing others who dealt with something like that. I should just focus on the ones who love baby. Oh and my OH and I are Muslim and plan on raising our baby Muslim - which plays a huge part in why my extended family are snubbing their noses. Meh, their loss.

 

[SarahMUMMY]

Not really got much advice but as long as you are happy i really wouldnt worry what anyone else thinks x

 

[mstennischick]

ignore them!! my fob's whole entire family has yet to acknowledge it. the other day his dad said "I'm not going to be a part of this unless you guys can get along" I blew up on him. needless to say none of his family is going to be involved. they will warm up and get excited eventually it takes time. but for those who are being completely unnecessarily bitchy, just tune them out. and when they do come along, tune them out some more. You don't need negative people around while you're pregnant. A baby is a magical thing and you don't want to stress out and have it negatively effect the baby.