I don't think I'm cut out for this

[shampain]

Patrick is now 2weeks old and i dont know how im going to cope much longer, i know i shouldnt feel like this but im so so so tired. Over the wknd he was so good, he slept for 4hours at a time during the night and went 3hours during the day between feeds (im breastfeeding) and now since yesterday hes hardly slept and has constantly been on my breast wanting to feed. we have dont the bath feed and bed thing, the distinguishing between day and night and nothing is working, ive tried him on infacol and its not done a thing. hes as good as gold during day (apart from yesterday and today where he will not stop breastfeeding) its just on a night time. i dont understand why he was so good over the wknd we did nothing different. my midwife says breastfed babies are clingy but this is stupid he will not let me put him down on a night and will cry and cry until hes picked up. im seriously thinking about stopping breast feeding as i feel so exhausted and trapped. my family live away and i have no one to turn to apart from my partner who is brilliant but cannot breastfeed him! please tell me im not the only person to feel like this, i feel like such a failure already, i should feel happy and all i feel is stuck and trapped and wondering what the hell i have done.

 

[XKatX]

Oh hun, I really don't know what to suggest. It does get better, I promise!! It's just getting through these first few weeks that's the hardest. I have no family around either, so we had to go it alone. Do you sleep when he sleeps? I know that won't help with his routine, but you will be able to cope so much better, even if you only get a couple more hours sleep. Can OH take him for a walk in the pram, justy to give you half an hours peace? Thats what my hubby did and it was enough to charge my batteries slightly.
He is still very young yet to be worrying about routine and knowing night from day. Just concentrate on keeping him happy and getting you some sleep for now.
Good luck hun, I hope it starts to get better soon x x

 

[shampain]

OH works and by time he gets home its dark, he does try and take the weight off me a lot when he comes home but when hes kicking off its mostly for food and thats where OH cant help. Its also putting stress on him and hes ended up in tears a few times saying he feels useless.

 

[Eoz]

Oh hunny.I also have no support and it is bloody hard.The only thing I can suggest is sod all house work and sit on your bum.Lots of fluid and dvds and relax.Feed baby as much as you can manage and maybe do a top up once or twice a day on formula.I did this and got some much needed rest.The other thing is swaddle him tight that does help some babys.Please pm me if you need any other advice.It will get better i promise.It's just baby finding his feet xxxxxxxThe good thing is you have asked for help and not kept quiet.You are not a failure xxxx

 

[XKatX]

Darling, I know how you feel OH is at work and doesn't get home until 6 - 7. I now express every morning, while feeding Oliver on the other side. This milk is then given by daddy in the evening. It's not much, but it's one less feed for you and half an hour of bonding time for hubby and LO. it takes a while to get the hang of expressing and getting him to take a bottle, but it's worth it!!!

 

[shampain]

I think i have made my mind up that im stopping breastfeeding but there is so much conflicting advice on how to stop i have no idea where to start!! does anyone have any advice?

 

[princess_bump]

i couldn't bf honey so don't really have advice their, but i can say it does get better honey day by day, little by little it does get easier. i don't think its uncommon for you to feel this way i def. agree with sleeping when baby sleeps, and sodding the housework, babies routine will develop and then you can go from there - we're all here for support x x

 

[princess_bump]

I think i have made my mind up that im stopping breastfeeding but there is so much conflicting advice on how to stop i have no idea where to start!! does anyone have any advice?

only do it if you really sure honey - i stopped after three days (as no milk) but i just decided to stop and went straight to bottles - 3oz every 3/4hours i believe - i was feeding on demand. i set the steriliser up, sterilised the bottles, and made up 6 with boiled water and keep them for 24hours, then add the formula and heat as needed

we heat them as needed by either our bottle warmer or standing them in a plastic jug of boiled water x

 

[shampain]

Thanx so much ladies, i really do wanna stop, i do love it sbut i feel so trapped xx

 

[princess_bump]

you must do what you feel is right sweetie x x x

 

[Vickie]

He could have hit a growth spurt. Also I have formula fed baby and I'll tell you that she was extremely clingy for 3.5 months, mostly during the day though so I was lucky there. She never napped on her own and would scream if I put her down. So I'm not sure if stopping BF will put an end to the clingyness It does get better, little by little.

 

[samantha112]

Hi, I'm new here and haven't posted before but I felt like I had to reply to you because I was exactly the same. My LO is now 3 months and I must say when he was 2 weeks I couldn't believe what I had got myself into. I have no solution but things do get easier. You have to just persevere. You baby will soon understand what nighttime is. I don't know how Ben did it he just started going longer each night.

Re the breastfeeding only give up if you are sure. I also gave up at 2 weeks but looking back I wish i'd carried on. If you are sure I just went cold turkey. It wasn't as bad as I thought. My bbs really really hurt (like a headache in my bbs lol) for 2 days. Then it got less painful over the days. Only took about 5 or 6 days to dry up. I had to express a tiny bit off twice cos it was so sore. But try not to do this too much.

I hope you start feeling better. There is light at the end of the tunnel I promise. x

 

[firstLO]

You know he's probably just going through a growth spurt. They have one at 3 days, 2 weeks, 6 weeks and at about 3 months. That's probably why he's feeding more so you may find he settles again soon. My lo has just gone through her 6 week growth spurt and I had to top her up even more with formula (already was doing an evening bottle). I'm thinking of stopping bf too as I've never had a lot of milk and so I've had to give formula as well for her to gain weight. I'm finding it hard to take the step to stop though as I feel so guilty!

 

[vanessa]

Hun, I can honestly say I felt this way too at 2 weeks and now May is just over one month and its soooo different.

Here is what worked for me....

Firstly, the constant feeding thing could be comfort feeding, thats what May was doing and only at night...my first solution to this was a dummy which worked really well as she just wanted to suck herself to sleep. Solution no. 2 was a top up bottle of formula at bedtime (you'll be amazed how well they sleep on this!!!)

I then swapped her to bottles as I felt trapped and exhausted at night times when the dummy novelty wore off.....I did it over about 4 days, dropping a couple of feeds each day. Get yourself out and buy 6 bottles, a steriliser and a big tub of formula if you want to go for it....you'll soon get in a routine and its like clockwork for us now. Dont feel guily about the bf thing, May is so much happier on formula and obviously so am I!!

You'll have sore leaky boobs for a few days but you can hand express a bit to make you more comfortable and you'll soon be back to normal.


Good luck, let us know how you get on xx

 

[carries]

Firstly dont feel guilty for deciding to stop but give yourself a few days to make sure you are making the right decison. Its so hard to change your mind back! I can agree with everyone who has posted so far and said it does get easier (although im still waiting for it to be easy )! It took me about 4 weeks to find my feet and that was only with intoducing a formula feed at night that my Oh gives him. Now my LO is latching a bit better im going to try to eeek out that formula but it really helped.

If you do decide to stop, cut out one feed a day over a week or so. It will stop the engorgment pain and avoid mastits good luck!

 

[Ema]

he could be going through a growth spurt so if you feel you can ride it out bf then do, it does get easier but if not there is nothing wrong with bottle feeding. Ive bottle feed jacob from the start and he is fine, but VERY clingy!!! He never sleeps in the day maybe 3 x 30mins naps if im lucky. Then at night was up every 2-3hours but the last 2 weeks it has got better and its every 4 hours but wont go to bed until i go not matter what i do!! So if im staying up to watch something so does jacob!! He doesnt mind going to people but as soon as i leave the room screams until i come back!! And he is 100% bottle feed. OH can do somethings but 99.9% of the time its all me because jacob wont have it any other way. OH can offer as much as he wants but jacob wont go back to sleep at night unless im there, or if im not it takes him about an hour or so, so now i do all the night feeds on my own. It is hard (very hard the 1st few weeks as we have change too as were completely not used to it) but with time it does get alot easier, as you get used to it. I mean i went to bed at 10pmk last night feed him at 2am then he woke at 4am (bloody dogs barking) then woke at 6am wide awake so we got up got dressed and was in town by 9am and then went for lunch and just got home. Now i couldnt even imagine doing that 2 months ago....but it does get better XXXXX

 

[ColtonsMom]

I do know BF babies need to feed alot at the beginning because they sometimes aren't good at getting alot out at once (you have to remember it also takes them longer to drink a bottle at that age then it does when they get older).
You could always try giving him a dummy though. And I was going to suggest a top up bottle of formula at night, just to get you some sleep.. after you start feeling better you could resume the BF at night and dump the formula (if you prefer)..

 

[alice&bump]

oh hun it really does get better! i felt like that for a while, its so hard to adjust to parenthood, one minute you're free to do whatever you want the next you've got to do what baby wants when they want it!

at 2 weeks they dont really know the difference between day and night, but katie now has learnt and she's gone from sleeping all day and being up all night to sleeping from 9.30 til about 5, then going back to sleep til 9!!

as others have said, sod the house work, just sleep when you can! i made the mistake of trying to do all the cleaning and stuff when katie was asleep. noone expects a house with a newborn to be immaculate, my MW said she'd find it odd if she went in a house where it wasnt a mess lol! a bit of dust never hurt anyone!

with the breastfeeding, please give it a couple of days just to make sure you're completely sure, your hormones etc are all over the place atm and its so hard to go back on the decision xx

 

[shampain]

Thanx again ladies, midwife been hes 6lb15oz now, he was only 6lb9oz on friday so i guess he is havin a growth spurt. Im so emotional today cant stop crying! i just want my mum!!! how stupid is that? I never realised i could feel so lonely. Nothing on earth can prepare you for havin a baby. Its his due date today too!

 

[Samantha675]

Oh love, I am sorry you are having a hard time. First, babies are clingy, I don't think it is because you are BFing, if they don't cling they would not survive. I really think that your son is having his first growth spurt. My son would nurse non-stop during a growth spurt, but after a few days or so it does calm down. Have you tried co-sleeping? I found at the beginning this really helped me get through those tough nights