I dont want the scan

[haze]

I am a really really shy person. I suffer from panick attacks when I go outside, I feel like people are looking at me (I know it's in my head but it still gives me panick attacks) I hated everything about all the examinations in my pregnancy. Then even worse I had to have an operation after labour to fix my 3rd degree tear, I was so anxious about it because it was done by two male surgeons. I ended up having a panick attack before they did it and I had to be sedated.
I thought it was all over and I didn't have to have anymore humiliating things but then I got this letter through about a week after birth saying I have to have an endorectal scan, I really, really don't want it. They said it's to check my stitches have healed. Noone else I know who's had 3rd degree tear has had it, I don't think I need it, everything feels fine.
The letter said it'd be in Novemeber and I thought it would give me time to get used to the idea but I got another one through this morning and it said they've moved it forward to August and when I got the letter through this morning I couldn't stop crying, I really really dont want it.

 

[flower74]

I have no idea how you are feeling but I didn't want to read and run...Sorry!! You sound like you've been through such alot since the birth of your daughter, is it possible for you to see the scan as the final hurdle of a long run of events and ultimate closure? You've coped with an enormous amount of discomfort so far (both physically and emotionally) you're amazing and you can get through this.
XX

 

[summer rain]

They can't force you to do anything hun, I am also very shy about male surgeons and doctors and what happened sounds horrible. I am sure there must be an option to have it by a female scanner; even if you have to travel to a different hospital xx

 

[haze]

I don't think that would make me any more comfortable to be honest. I even hated that I had to have examinations by the mw when I was in labour. My husband is going to nag me until I go but I really really don't want to have it. Im going to talk to my dr about it when I have my check up.

 

[Mummy2bexxx]

Hi hunI suffer from very bad panic/anxiety attacks so I know how you're feeling! It's very easy for me to say this, but you really need to face your fears when it comes to examinations like this, especially for thing like smear tests etc. as these could save your life!

I have to say though, I had a third degree tear and a scan was only mentioned when I told the midwife I was pregnant, she said that I will have one at 28 weeks but she's since told me they've stopped doing these scans now in our area! I would contact your doctor and ask them about it! Have you thought about medication for your anxiety? I was dead against medication to begin with, I was on sertraline for 6 months and the difference was unbelievable, being able to go out grocery shopping without having a breakdown was such a big thing for me! Medication only need be a short term solution, and it may help you face your fears about your examination if its still going ahead!

 

[haze]

I've not been to the dr about my anxiety. I feel stupid. Im going to ask my dr if I can miss it. Im not having anymore kids and everything is working and feels healed I don't see why I have to do it