I feel empty,very angry and helpless,

Discussion in 'Miscarriage Support' started by BABYCAREY, Sep 1, 2009.

  1. BABYCAREY

    BABYCAREY mummy to a angel

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    I was 13weeks yesterday,woke up thought this is great 13weeks today the danger is over!! How stupid was i!! At lunchtime i bled,was in shock,hubby took me down to hos,after a lengthy wait was scanned,i knew in my heart when i saw it that my angel was gone,he was so small for 13weeks,he gave me a internal scan just to make sure,unfortunately there was no heartbeat,baby measured 7weeks+6!!How could it happen?5weeks later?? I cant get my head round it.I was so careful,so good!Feel empty,incapable,my hearts breaking,i found myself signing for a EVACUATION OF CONCEPTION and how they would deal with my child afterwards in minutes of being told,becos after midnight the ward wouldnt take me as it was then being trans ferred to derry/craigavon!!Becos of cuts!! Im so angry at being made to make a decision so quickly.I rang the erne today and rearranged for our baby to be brought back down to us for us to arrange burial,i feel better knowing the baby will be close to us,i have often consoled friends when a miscarriage happened but never dreamt it would happen to me,and the horrible feelings that go with it!!Nightmare. I heard my husband sobbing as he told a friend on the phone and my heart broke for him,they remember the mum but rarely the daddy.:flower:
     
  2. diane60f

    diane60f Well-Known Member

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    My heart is with yours. This brings me back to one of the darkest hours of my life when i found out at my 11week scan that i lost my angel at 7 weeks. My husband told our family and friends and i remember him sobbing at times.
    God bless you and your family at during this dark time.
     
  3. MissyMojo

    MissyMojo Army Wife, Mam & BFP

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    aww sweetheart im soo sorry xxxx

    i went for my 12wks scan to see baby had stopped at 6wks, its feels soo frustrating, like "why didnt i notice" but there was nothing you could have done sweetheart nothing at all,

    my hubby also broke down when telling our friends we'd lost flump, its spoo hard on them too as long as u remember hes hurting too tho u'l both get through this, im now 3 months since mmc and im feeling hopeful for the future again, its a slow procces but the girls here will help xxxx
     
  4. Liz2

    Liz2 Well-Known Member

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    Honey I am so sorry for your loss :hugs: I was 13 weeks when I found out my baby had passed at 12 weeks. I know that your heart is in a million pieces right now and no words will make it better. Just know that you have a ton of support from us here and you can PM me if you ever need to talk about it. There is nothing that you could have done. Sometimes no matter how safe and careful you are these things just happen. It is cruel. My heart goes out to you right now. Sending tons of love your way!
     
  5. ladypotter

    ladypotter Three Girls!!!

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    I am so sorry about your loss! It is never easy at what point you are at or have gotten to. :-( ((((HUGS))))
     
  6. janie0

    janie0 Well-Known Member

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    So sorry for what you are going through. My heart goes out to you and your family.

    I know it all too well. I was almost 18 weeks in July when I delivered our angel baby, although at 16+4 baby had passed. Life can be cruel....
     
  7. Sparklestar

    Sparklestar Mommy to Keigan

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    hun, my heart goes out to you, this reminds me of the worst moment of my life when i was told thdere was no heartbeat, i too was forced to make a descsion at 15 weeks when my baby died at 12 1/2 weeks, they really rush you when really your not capable of making any descsion. i'm so sorry, be kind to yourself :hugs: xxx
     
  8. BABYCAREY

    BABYCAREY mummy to a angel

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    I wanted to say thank you for your messages of support,i dont think i will ever get over this,but it helps to be able to lt it out on here.
     
  9. dan-o

    dan-o RMC's but mum to 3 now!

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    I'm really sorry to hear you have lost your little one. :cry:
    I read on your other post you think it may be molar, I'm really sorry to hear you have been dealt this horrible double blow xxx
    I wanted to let you know, I'm here if you want to talk to someone about it. :hugs:
     
  10. BABYCAREY

    BABYCAREY mummy to a angel

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    Thank you for your message of support,the consultant didnt even really give a answer what a molar is!! So went on the net and have managed to scare myself half to death!! Im seeing my doctor fri and going to chat her then. They are bringing our baby back down from derry so we can bury him ourselves,that seems to be giving me some comfort at the moment,1 min crying and the next its like ive forgot for a moment and then im angry with myself for it. Im mad at my so called friend who hasnt bothered to even txt me or pop up to see us,am i being unreasonable? Am i? Im so angry at the min!!!!:growlmad:
     

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