Hello ladies, this is my first time posting here. I felt that I needed some support from other women who are going through the same thing...and so here I am Here is the condensed version of my story.... I was married for 12 years and this marriage produced 3 beautiful children. We decided our family was complete and I had a tubal ligation 4 years ago. Fast forward 4 years and I am now divorced, have 50/50 custody of my children and have been engaged for the past year to a wonderful, caring man. Through much discussion, we have both decided that we would like to have a child together. Our house feels empty with my children only being here 50% of the time. I feel like half a mother. I am also hitting my mid thirties and my desire for another child is like something I have never experienced before. So, I have gone ahead and had a tubal reversal. It costs us $7000.00 and this is where the CRAZY PERSON was born I feel like a complete nutjob now. I am constantly checking my cervical mucous, analyzing my menstrual cycle and pressuring my poor man for sex the minute I know I am ovulating. It has been very stressful. He told me that he feels that I no longer want him, that I just want his sperm. I feel so guilty, almost like I'm "forcing him" to "perform" on cue. I just know that if we don't, that we are losing a valuable opportunity. This month has been particularly difficult. We have had sex often and have covered all our bases. I am not supposed to see AF for another week but my boobs have been very tender and my hopes for being pregnant are so high. I know in my head that having sore boobs is something that happens to me before every period but I feel so completely desperate this time. I feel that we have spent considerable money as well as the physical toll that having a 4 hour abdominal surgery has played on me, that to walk away with no baby would just devastate me. I feel like our hopes were so high. Everyone keeps telling me that the stress will make it impossible for me to get pregnant, but I don't know how to stop it. I have already tested twice this week and cried each time. I am so miserable and sad. I feel like all I can think about is wanting this baby so badly. I had no trouble getting pregnant before and this is just killing me. Can anyone please give me some advice?