I feel like giving up....

[JasmineFrame]

Honestly I was so excited when we found out we were expecting our 2nd baby this was a very planned pregnancy. When we lost the baby and i ended up having to have a D&C and The emotions of all that. We talked about TTC right away again which i was on board for. Now im on week 7 after having my D&C still no AF my HCG levels are still at 13.5 im frustrated and super annoyed honestly. I feel like is it even worth it to try for another baby i should just be grateful i have a healthy child in the first place. I really wanted to be pregnant by Christmas and i just really hopeless right now, and im frustrated my body wont do what its suppose to.

 

[lilmisscaviar]

Hun I send you lots of

I know exactly how you feel. I wanted all my children to be close in age but I've been suffering one loss after another and now I don't think I am ovulating at all because I've been having a hard time getting pregnant. I know I should be happy that I have two beautiful children but I've always wanted a big family and to not be able to accomplish that goal just kills me. I'm aging and my youngest is already going to be 2 so by the time the next baby comes if I ended up getting pregnant by Christmas there will be an age range of no less than 2 1/2 to 3 years apart. It is very frustrating.

 

[JasmineFrame]

Hun I send you lots of

I know exactly how you feel. I wanted all my children to be close in age but I've been suffering one loss after another and now I don't think I am ovulating at all because I've been having a hard time getting pregnant. I know I should be happy that I have two beautiful children but I've always wanted a big family and to not be able to accomplish that goal just kills me. I'm aging and my youngest is already going to be 2 so by the time the next baby comes if I ended up getting pregnant by Christmas there will be an age range of no less than 2 1/2 to 3 years apart. It is very frustrating.

My husband wants to keep trying my doctor said that after a D&C i should have been at zero for my HCG levels but im still at 13.5 so i might have to take hormones to induce AF and all of this is just frustrating i really feel like a failure and at this moment i dont wanna keep trying because i cant do all this again

 

[dinky]

I had my d&c 5 weeks ago today. Still testing faintly positive on hpts but have no idea what my levels are as they don't check it over here. Not had af either and I also want to start trying again ASAP it's so frustrating just waiting isn't it. Sorry for your loss

 

[JasmineFrame]

I had my d&c 5 weeks ago today. Still testing faintly positive on hpts but have no idea what my levels are as they don't check it over here. Not had af either and I also want to start trying again ASAP it's so frustrating just waiting isn't it. Sorry for your loss

So im so confused because my doctor told me the reason they orginally didnt track my HCG levels is beacuse after a D&C ur levels should already be zeroed ? so im going to check my levels again on Monday if they zero than she will put me on hormones to jump start my period and i will have an ultra sound of my uterus to see whats going on im hoping that i'm not having another MC

 

[Justme43]

Hang in there Jasmine. I know it is frustrating but you got this. You are strong and you can keep going.

I am on my first AF and it is heavy and I see a lot of clotting. SO perhaps there is a little residual stuff going on inside that is slowing things down. Maybe taking meds will help the process.

I am happy that you DH is there for you and pushing you to keep going. They are not always right and we ignore than most times .. but listen to him now.

Thinking of you honeybun...

 

[biscuits104]

I had my d&c 5 weeks ago today. Still testing faintly positive on hpts but have no idea what my levels are as they don't check it over here. Not had af either and I also want to start trying again ASAP it's so frustrating just waiting isn't it. Sorry for your loss

So im so confused because my doctor told me the reason they orginally didnt track my HCG levels is beacuse after a D&C ur levels should already be zeroed ? so im going to check my levels again on Monday if they zero than she will put me on hormones to jump start my period and i will have an ultra sound of my uterus to see whats going on im hoping that i'm not having another MC

This can't possibly be true, unless they were somehow able to remove all your blood and replace it with HCG-less blood. It does take several weeks for the HCG to leave your system, for me it took 4-5 weeks after the first miscarriage. I think some doctors track the amount in your blood if there is a risk that all was not removed during the d&c. Even a microscopic piece of the placenta can keep those hormones circulating in your blood, but i would say that since it has decreased, it's probably just a slow process...and it will be out of your system soon. Just give it time, and give yourself time to grieve. Don't put a deadline on "when you wanted to be pregnant." I promise that after more time has passed you will feel more hopeful about the future. I've had two miscarriages this year (January & May) - both at 9 weeks. I'm pregnant for the third time (5 weeks along) and still anxious as can be, but full of hope - something I didn't think possible back in May.

 

[JasmineFrame]

I had my d&c 5 weeks ago today. Still testing faintly positive on hpts but have no idea what my levels are as they don't check it over here. Not had af either and I also want to start trying again ASAP it's so frustrating just waiting isn't it. Sorry for your loss

So im so confused because my doctor told me the reason they orginally didnt track my HCG levels is beacuse after a D&C ur levels should already be zeroed ? so im going to check my levels again on Monday if they zero than she will put me on hormones to jump start my period and i will have an ultra sound of my uterus to see whats going on im hoping that i'm not having another MC

This can't possibly be true, unless they were somehow able to remove all your blood and replace it with HCG-less blood. It does take several weeks for the HCG to leave your system, for me it took 4-5 weeks after the first miscarriage. I think some doctors track the amount in your blood if there is a risk that all was not removed during the d&c. Even a microscopic piece of the placenta can keep those hormones circulating in your blood, but i would say that since it has decreased, it's probably just a slow process...and it will be out of your system soon. Just give it time, and give yourself time to grieve. Don't put a deadline on "when you wanted to be pregnant." I promise that after more time has passed you will feel more hopeful about the future. I've had two miscarriages this year (January & May) - both at 9 weeks. I'm pregnant for the third time (5 weeks along) and still anxious as can be, but full of hope - something I didn't think possible back in May.

Thank you your post made me feel so much better honestly. I still feel the same way about having another baby i think maybe im just not ment to have another kid, and i think im ok with that for now. I have to get my blood drwan again today.

 

[fairycat]

If it makes you feel any better, I am in the same boat as you. I'm 7 weeks post d&c, I ovulated, and had my first AF. Still have a squinter of a second line on tests. My doc's office isn't worried about it, so im not either. Give it some time - your body can still do what it's supposed to do. If it's not ready to get pregnant it wont. If it is it will.

 

[JasmineFrame]

yea im still at 9.5 levels

 

[fairycat]

You're almost there!!! Only 4.6 to go!

 

[JasmineFrame]

I know! but its taking FOREVER. I seriously give up i feel so defeated honestly that i dont really even care anymore to have another baby. i have grieved the loss of our last baby but im frustrated and done this whole process has taken forever and my body still isnt back to normal. Everything was just easier before i started TTC.

 

[Justme43]

Hey Jasmine - I am so sorry you are going through this sweetie. Maybe you should take a step back from all the temps, monitoring and everything else. Sometimes the process itself is what exhausts us, but not what we're trying to accomplish. You will get your baby and I know you want your baby, you are just tired right now.

So take a step back and take a breather. Regroup and go back, but don't give up honey..

It will get better. I promise

 

[biscuits104]

I know I responded earlier, but I felt compelled to write again. That tiny bit of HCG circulating your system WILL be gone soon...and when it does, a few weeks later you are going to start feeling better emotionally because your body won't be getting all these mixed signals to throw out more hormones. I know it's hard to see right now, but this cocktail of hormones is what's making things seem so hopeless. I wouldn't wish that feeling on my worst enemy. I went through some talk therapy after my first miscarriage, and it helped, but just waiting for those hormones to clear up did me the most good.

I promise you will feel hopeful again!

 

[JasmineFrame]

I know I responded earlier, but I felt compelled to write again. That tiny bit of HCG circulating your system WILL be gone soon...and when it does, a few weeks later you are going to start feeling better emotionally because your body won't be getting all these mixed signals to throw out more hormones. I know it's hard to see right now, but this cocktail of hormones is what's making things seem so hopeless. I wouldn't wish that feeling on my worst enemy. I went through some talk therapy after my first miscarriage, and it helped, but just waiting for those hormones to clear up did me the most good.

I promise you will feel hopeful again!

Thank you AF finally did show up for me on Sunday and i am already feeling better. I figured out my emotions its not that i dont want another baby i just dont want to go through all the measuring temps and OPKs and everytime we have sex thinking i really hope i get pregnant. I just want it to happen when it happens and not think about it so much i guess

 

[tag74]

I wanted to add my 2 cents in case it helps. I have had 2 back to back miscarriages.

My first in July, my HCG only reached 10,000. My HCG went back to 0 on cycle day 15 (day 1 is the day of the DnC). So it won't be 0 on the day of the m/c but it will drop significantly the days to follow.

I ovulated on cycle day 25 and got pregnant again. I lost that baby on September 17th. My HCG was 40,000 and by cycle day 13 it was at 75, it took a full week to go down to 0. But the interesting part is I got a faint positive on cycle day 19 (I think I was under 15 on this day) and ovulated only 5 days later on cycle day 24.

So I think your body can gear up to ovulate but won't release the egg until your HCG drops below 5. My wondfo OPKs registered positive on cycle days 20 and 21. My clear blue advanced never went to a full positive. But my temps show a clear shift that I O'd and my CM is creamy like all my cycles post O now.

We are NTNP and I ovulated a bit earlier than I expected so I'm curious how this cycle will end up. I don't have any expectations.

Hope this information helps.

I do think charting helps a ton!

 

[JasmineFrame]

I think im just super nervous about having another MC is we TTC again. I dont know if emotionally i have the strength to go through another loss