I feel sick that everyone will know

[LouiseB]

I'm freaking out a little bit because it just occurred to me that my husband's family know about the IVF and i have no control over them.

I haven't told anyone. Well, I told my mum because i broke down on the telephone when she asked about ttc and i told her to keep it a secret.

I know my FIL knows because my husband wanted to talk to him about his semen result. Fine.

Then he offers to pay for the treatment and i'm thinking... ok, so my MIL must know too.

Although, my MIL tells everything to my SIL and i don't want her to know. She puts everything on Facebook - her dads illness, her mum having surgery... everything.

I'm starting to feel like all my husband's family knows and i don't want them to know - i don't want anyone to know.

I don't know what to do.

 

[michelleann]

Could you sit down with you DH and his family (mum/dad) and explain to them how you feel and that you would appreciate it if they kept it a secret as IVF is very stressful and you would like to try and keep the stress to a min, otherwise your going to have everyone asking you when are you having IVF and if there is any news etc.....their offer to pay for it was very generous and its nice to know they are backing you 100% but they must respect your wishes XX

 

[fluffystar]

Hi Louise,

I would defnite;u have a quiet chat with them, they are bound to understand your need for privacy. If you dont feel comfortable doing that then perhaps OH could have a word with them.

I know exactly what you mean about it getting being out of your control. I confided in my manager at work as I would need the leave etc. We then had a change in line manager and she just told him!! We hadnt even decided to go ahead with IVF yet and so there was absolutely no need for him to know! He then blurted it out in the office when there were people nearby and didnt seem to understand the sensitivity of it!!! I now feel I cant let anyone at work know we are in the middle of an ivf cycle as I dont trust them!!

Good luck ! xx

 

[Little Felix]

Hi Guys

I am new to this forum, but I feel I need to share my experience with you all. Me and my DH have been TTC for nearly 4yrs. We have had all the revelant Fertility tests and there is no medical reason why it hasnt happened for us. I went on Clomid for 3 mths but that didnt work.
I had my first cycle of IVF back in May this year, this was unsuccessful. The whole procedure of IVF was an emotional rollercoaster. Painful and invasive especially when you have nothing at the end of it. What was worse for us was I had a false positive, which I thought you couldnt have. So imagine our elation of a positive one day then negative the next. I wish I was made aware of the possiblity of 'chemical pregnancies'
We decided to wait for a few months before starting our second IVF. I wanted to try naturally again and have a break etc...
I found on the internet info about Acupuncture and its success rate with helping with infertility. I wanted to try anything before IVF again so I gave it a go.
I have had 6 sessions over 2 cycles and I have finally got a definate POSITIVE. It is still very early days so I am not jumping for joy just yet (well sort of) I am totally convinced this result is down to the Acupuncture, which is a safe, pain free, non-invasive treatment. Its the best £180 I have spent!!!
Again I just wish this was offered to us as an option before the IVF route, as I do think IVF should be one of the last resorts!!!
The fact I can physically get pregnant after nearly 4 years is an amazing feeling, so please if you havent tried it, try ACUPUNCTURE. What have you got to lose........
Hope this helps someone as I know how everyone feels
Good Luck xx

 

[rachelle1975]

Hey Louise

I have had the same problem with my MIL who has been a big problem to us, especially after the first cycle ended in m/c and she wanted to play the blame game!

I asked DH to speak to his family about it - he said 'he' didn't want people discussing it and left it at that - they respected it for the most part although thought 'i' would be happy to talk about it since he was the one who told them to be quiet!

I'd get your OH to talk to his family and ask them to respect how hard this is and will be for you guys. Despite offers of money from our family i've turned it down as i just can't bear them knowing we are doing it again x

 

[Robyn321]

Hi Louise

I would definitely ask your OH to have a word with his mum and dad and ask them not to mention it to anyone, including your SIL. It may be easier if he has the chat rather than you. Before we started ttc I made it very clear to my dh that he shouldn't be telling people including his mother (who he's really close to) - and having seen me burst into tears month after month I think he's quite grateful not to have to deal with the extra stress of other people asking about things.