Hun im relatively new to these boards and havent ever stepped into this forum, I dont know you I dont know your journey but wanted to tell you that you are NEVER alone, im NOT religious by a long shot however I am a very strong believer in Angels, however one important thing to remember about our Angels is that the Law of the Universe states that they are NOT allowed to step in and help us until we ask them for help. Now you maybe religious you may not, you may believe in Angels you may not, but what im about to tell you COSTS nothing and therefore cant hurt!
When I feel like you are now I talk to my Angels, I sometimes even write to them but havent done that for a while, once we ask our Angels to assist us in our hearts desire they will be there in an instant.
You dont need to say things out loud to them, you can simply find a quiet place to be and talk to them in your head, tell them exactly what you want and when and how you would like it to happen etc be as detailed as possible about what you NEED, I say need because if its something we want out of greed they will not grant it!
Trust me this has worked for me over the last few years from small things like finding that car parking space for me when im running late for work to bringing back the man of my dreams when I let him go!
They are a huge workforce working on our behalf and they dont cost a penny, all they want in return is your trust, ask your Angels to take away all your negative energy and trust in them to give you what it is you so badly need.
You might find writing to them more beneficial to you, I know this may sound silly and you may think im a total fruitcake (those that know me know that I am LOL) but believe me when I say it will make you feel better even if only for a short time and when you feel that you are beginning to falter talk to your Angels again! Watch out for signs that they are with you, the most common of course is a feather, you may find coins in places that they shouldnt be, it could be anything but as long as your open to receiving these signs you will then notice things will start to change for the better.
Please feel free to PM me if you would like to talk some more sweetheart, I have never been in your situation and will never know the pain and hurt yur going through but I would like to think you can share how your feeling with me and anyone else any of the time
at your friends. FJL is right. You find out who your true friends are at times like this. Hope you're feeling a little brighter today. Big 
