I feel so confused

[andik]

I hope you guys don't mind me off loading on here but I don't know who else will understand. I went to the doctors to get contraception again and as routine had to do a pregnancy test before starting to take the pill again. I took the test and got the shock of my life as it turns out I'm pregnant again and I had no idea - needless to say it wasn't planned!

The thing is Im so confused as we had wanted two children but am struggling to be happy right now as everything is still so raw and I don't feel ready. Not having it is NOT an option for me and I'm sure as it sinks in it will be fine but right now I am so scared of having another prem baby and I have no idea how I would cope and split my time up if it happens. It may sound strange but my son is so precious and is only 3 months corrected so I feel like I have cheated him out of his time with just me and I don't even know how it's possible to love another baby as much as I love him. Is that terrible? I just feel so scared and confused and really hope these feelings are normal. Sorry for going on!

 

[Archies Mummy]

Hun, I totally understand where your coming from. Your not a bad mum for thinking like that, having a prem is the hardest thing I have ever had too cope with. My first son was born term so was kinda not expecting this one to make an early appearance, to say life lately has been like a rollercoaster is an understatement, I admire all mums that go through this struggle just like yourself. Everything happens for a reason, so this new baby is a blessing and although you think now you couldn't possibly have anymore love to give, trust me you do. I felt exactly the same I've got a two year old son and when I found out I was pregnant I thought there's no way I've got enough love, time, patience etc, for both of em. And now I realise I do. Because if you can have prem and come out the otherside with strength still and unconditional love for your 6 month old then your gunna be a fab mum too both of em, just be there . Xx

 

[25weeker]

Hi can't really offer any advice but wanted to send you some

Ask your doc to refer you to consultant care so you can discuss your concerns on having a prem etc.

Right now your emotions and hormones will be all over the place but you will love this little baby as much as your first. Your wee boy will now have someone to grow up and play with. My friend and her sister only have 11 months between them and are very close.

Take care x

 

[Agiboma]

i just recently had my premie so i dont have advice just and i also feel the mother in you has enough love for the two of them

 

[alibaba24]

I think these feelings are perfectly normal. When people ask me if i want another i say "i think so" but im just not sure i feel like i want to give rosalie 100% of my time love and devotion i want to give her the world and everything in it so its hard imagining how i would cope and how i would split my attention. but were designed for it When your little one comes along you will be thinking " i cant imagine life without...." xxx

 

[AP]

Hiya hunni

Dont look at this negatively. First of all, have a word with the docs and see if you can get some kind of management schedule to help to carry more to term. Secondly, having another may be soon - but could potentially really help Nathan's development too with them being so close in age!

 

[Anna_due Dec]

I think nearly all mums look at their baby and think how will i ever love someone as much as you, but when the next one comes, you really do. I have had 2 prems and am pregnant again. it was actually easier second time around as i knew what to expect. Also, most hospitals big enough to have nicu's, also have a free childminding room (well they do in Australia, i can't talk about anywhere else). My kids love going in as they have so much fun and i get to spend one on one time with prem. The close together thing, i'm in the same situation. My son turned 1 (10 months corrected) 2 days ago and i am 20 weeks preg and expecting a prem so the age gap is still yet to be seen but it's not going to be heaps. There is 4 years in between baby 1 and 2 and 3.5 between 2 and 3. So this is the first time i'll have 2 under 18 months. I feel the same as you, as though i'm ripping my 1 yo off some how but i'm sure they wont see it like that. they'll never know any different and the closeness in age might be good for their relationship. Well i hope so anyway.