I feel so down

Discussion in 'Pregnancy Club' started by Laura--x, Oct 1, 2008.

  1. Laura--x

    Laura--x Guest

    I really dont know whats wrong with me. Well i do, i know its my hormones, but i just feel so shit i feel like im depressed !

    I just feel so alone most of the time now, before i got pregnant me and oh always dreamed of having our own baby and was unbelievably excited at the idea, but since ive actually been pg, i feel like my oh just doesn't care and doesn't understand. I dont know if its me asking too much or what, but with how ive been feeling i just want him to be there for me, i want him to get up and get me a drink, cook me some food or just even be there and offer me stuff without me literally having to beg him to get me something because i feel to ill to move. My family have mentioned how lazy he is and how he never does anything in that sense for me, im always on my feet cooking cleaning doing everything he wants. Im not asking to much to have this in return right ? Ok he goes to college 3 and a half days a week, but he comes home and asks as if its been the most stressful hard working day of his life, he hasn't even started work yet, its surely gonna hit him in the face when he does.

    Another thing is, the past few weeks ive been constantly tired, all the time. I normally suck it up and get on with it, but today i went to bed for a few hours cus of feeling ill aswell, and he came down today and about 3 hours after i got up i said i was tired again, all he said was ' lazy shit, youve been in bed all day'. I just couldnt believe it, i said ' erm excuse me, ive been in bed for 3 hours, ive felt ill all day and didnt sleep well last night, dont dare say im lazy, im pregnant you know, it does take it out of us. All he could reply with was ' pregancy isnt a bloody illness you know'.

    Omg you dont know how angry i was, i wanted to kick his head off, he just doesnt understand and doesnt seem to give 2 damns about me, and its really startin to get to me.:hissy:
     
  2. ALY

    ALY spammy sexington

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    it may just be that ur body is gettinused t all the exta hormones
    if u dont feel any better by 20wks talk t ur midwife she may b able t help u
    i no u prob dont want t hear this but i was the same with my second child so the midwife booked me in t c the doc n it turned out i was depressed
    but just c how u go 1st
     
  3. elm

    elm Mama

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    :hugs: I was constantly knackered for most of the first fifteen weeks or so, it has got better (still have really tired days though).

    Could you maybe stay with your family for a few days and be pampered? Not sure what you'd be going back to though if your OH doesn't do anything.

    Don't know what to suggest about your OH - can you get him to go to a mw appointment maybe and get her to explain about tiredness in the first tri and how you need him to support you? Is there anyone he would listen to? Sounds like your life would be hugely improved if he'd recognise what you're going through at the moment and put in a bit of effort to give you a hand.

    :hugs: x
     
  4. Laura--x

    Laura--x Guest

    I do live with them anyway and bless them they are great, i don't normally ask them to do anything for me its usually me looking after them ( they both have their problems), but now they are repaying the favour and are making it a whole lot easier.

    He was here when the mw came out last friday, but he didnt say a whole lot. It really is just as if he cant be arsed with the whole thing, this morning ive woke up with a stinking cold and sore throat ( he had it a few days ago, obviously passed it to me!) and all he done was feel my head and goes ' you dont feel hot, your alright' :dohh: if i say i feel like shite, i feel like shit.

    I think hes getting all this off his mum. I used to be down theres all the time, but since i found out i was pg 6 weeks ago, i think ive been twice. Simply because i just want to be in my own house, my own bed doing my own things, not down theirs with his hyper screaming little brother who is constantly wanting to play with me. His mum is always saying ' come down, it will do you good, theres no point sitting there rotting away in the house' and always is making silly remarks like that, yesterday they went shopping and asked me to go, but id be out all morning up the doctors and job center and i felt awfully sick and tired and really couldnt be bothered, and when i said she goes ' oh my god, what are you like?!' I just feel as if they think im a huge joke and im playing on it all and making it more than it is.

    Im meant to be going down there to stay tonight, but i quite frankly cant be arsed. I just want to stay in my pjs and curl on the sofa watching tele, without all them interupting !
     
  5. Beltane

    Beltane Mother of 3 Boys!

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    Is there anyway you could sit him down and talk to him about this? Maybe he really needs to hear it. Males are just sometimes oblivious to what they're really supposed to be doing. You might try a litle sit-down talk with him and explain how important this would be for your emotional serenity. Just a thought. And hang in there. I have my isolated raincloud hanging over my head days all the time.:hugs:
     
  6. Blah11

    Blah11 ☼ Mummy to Amelie ☼

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    Your OH is maybe just a bit overwhelmed. Mine was the same at the start but he's so much more supportive and excited now. Talk to him about it though. Guys seem to think pregnancy isn't tiring until you have a massive bump when really, first tri is awful for fatigue.
     
  7. claire roach

    claire roach Well-Known Member

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    i think some men dont consider you pregnant until they see your bump!!! mine wasnt great at first and my hormones were everywhere in 1st tri, but since 2nd tri and a bump appearing hes been marvellous. i felt very down in 1st tri aswell

    hopefully your man will be the same hun x
     
  8. Twinkles

    Twinkles Well-Known Member

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    i was also in a terrible state in the first tri, i would come home from work, have something to eat and then fall asleep on the sofa, wake up at about 9pm and then go to bed at 10pm. My OH didnt really get it , like others have said some men just dont understand the way we are feeling. To be honest i ranted and cried and stamped my foot alot during that time and now my OH is super helpful and very supportive. Dont hold back on how you are feeling, let it all out x
     
  9. Shri

    Shri Well-Known Member

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    :hugs:

    I hope he comes to his senses. Thinking of you
     
  10. Shifter

    Shifter Guest

    Depression during pregnancy is common, as is the overwhelming fatigue in the first trimester.

    Try talking to him about it, or buy him a book that explains things, there are some great ones for fathers-to-be.
     
  11. Luhweez

    Luhweez Guest

    I took naps 3 or 4 times a day in the 1st/2nd tri when i was off work, and sometimes i was so tired i went as far as phoning in sick to work with really stupid excuses, i ended up walking out of my last job at the start of july i was SO tired and working 12 hour shifts 5 days a week on my feet all day. the tiredness sucks.
     
  12. bambikate

    bambikate Mummy of 2 gorgeous girls

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    I'm so sorry your feeling down hun sending you big hugs everyone has said such good advice already x x
     
  13. elm

    elm Mama

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    Glad you've got your family there to support you. Just make sure you put you and your LO first. Hope you're feeling a bit better now :hugs: x
     
  14. Laura--x

    Laura--x Guest

    Thanks girls x

    Feeling a tad better now, proberly because i havnt saw oh so no-one has wound me up :rofl:, sure that will change soon though !

    x
     
  15. Laura--x

    Laura--x Guest

    Hmm, well oh stayed at home and his mate stayed last night, god knows what time they went to bed or what they got up to but they both didnt get up till 3pm today so i can only imagine ! Havnt heard off him today, i text him half hour ago to ring me or come online, but he didnt, so i just rang his mobile but going straight to answerphone, hmm.

    No way is he in bed so thats out of the question, wonder what hes up to -_-
     
  16. PeanutBean

    PeanutBean Mumma to Byron & Indigo

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    Having read your other posts before I can only say that in the end either he will chose you and the baby and get his act together or he won't and I've no advice on how to affect that outcome. But I don't think letting him walk all over you and get away with saying such awful things to you will make him be a better person for you. You're not asking too much, you're not asking enough! I've had a really shitty pregnancy and been hideously tired and nauseus throughout but my DH has done everything since 6 weeks when my nausea started. I don't even need to ask. I can't believe what he said about you when you needed rest. IMO there's nothing wrong with you, only him... :-(
     
  17. Laura--x

    Laura--x Guest

    Hmm i just dont know what is wrong with him. Im wondering if ill get to see him today, if he comes away from his friends house ! And im going to have a serious chat with him and see what he says.

    Ill let you girls know how it goes x
     
  18. PeanutBean

    PeanutBean Mumma to Byron & Indigo

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    :hugs: Thinking of you. This is so shit for you and unfair...
     
  19. Laura--x

    Laura--x Guest

    Well i done it. Its amazing how hard it was to actually bring it up, you'd think being together for 2 and a half years we would be able to speak about anything comfortably. Anyway, cutting a long story short, i could tell he wasnt agreeing with anything i was saying, he was defensive and arsey the whole way through, which made me even mader. But hes told me he'll stop the weed and do what he can to be here for me, which is the answer i wanted tbh, but whether he does it or not is a completely different story.

    Lets see how long it lasts aye x
     
  20. PeanutBean

    PeanutBean Mumma to Byron & Indigo

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    I hope he means it... Good luck! Don't take any shit, you and baby deserve the best!
     

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