I feel so heartbroken

Discussion in 'Trying To Conceive' started by missbooby, Oct 28, 2008.

  1. missbooby

    missbooby Well-Known Member

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    I feel so heartbroken. I can feel the pain in my left side..I know I'm ovulating. OH wouldn't make love this morning..he says he feels too under pressure from me. I'm devastated as the last time we BD was the day before yesterday. He still doesn't understand how crucial this is. He says if it's meant to happen it will happen -I feel like screaming, because it if it hasn't since December..then obviously we need to TRY HARDER. I'm going out of my mind, I feel so depressed. He says he wants a baby, then he pushes me away. I'm trying not to let my pain show..I'm thinking if I don't argue with him, if I act happy then he will soften up by this evening. It's just not fair. I don't know what to do.:cry:
     
  2. zooney

    zooney MUM OF 1 TTC no.2

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    arrr missbooby i'm so sorry, men just don't understand do they!!!! tell him 2nite how important this is and your sorry if he's feeling under pressure, then do a bit of creeping i'm sure you'll get him in the mood, good luck xx:hug:
     
  3. lola

    lola Guest

    Sorry hun, men are complicated sometimes and I genuinely don't think they understand the need to try sometimes, but it is truely frustrating!

    I hope he comes home in a better mood and appologises :hugs:
     
  4. Aquarius24

    Aquarius24 Mummy of 2 beauties!

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    Oh darling, I really feel for you, and you cant say anything to him or get mad because he will just stick his heels in further, but bear in mind that those spermies can live for 4 or 5 days so even if you dont bd today there is still a chance for you xx
     
  5. cerilou

    cerilou Well-Known Member

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    Hi hun

    I totally understand. If it's any consolation, we only bd 2 days before ov and I got my :bfp: this morning. So it can happen.

    Good luck.

    :hug:
     
  6. laura2412

    laura2412 pregnant - 3rd trimester

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    HEllo lovely,
    my partner did the same to me. He has the same look on things as yours does. He says he feels used yet he knows dam well im not using him. We have been together 4 years and we have a home together and our relationship is rosie but hey men are just dicks sometimes. He has the outlook that just let it happen. Its my 11 month this month and I know the witch will visit. If I were you id let him come home, make his tea. Put some make up on and ya nicest bra and nickers and just let him think of what hes missing.
    I did and it worked. Later that evening when i spoke to him about it he said I dont like the way this making a baby is stressing you out and he said it should be a good time but hey you are getting really stressed. I just said with everyone around me falling pregnant. I do feel under pressure. Im scared of something being wrong with me but then I always think the worse. So this month we only had . . . 3 times but hey we will see. fingers crossed for you and if you need someone to talk to you know where I am. :hug:
     
  7. susan_1981

    susan_1981 Mummy to 2 boys :)

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    I can understand how you must be feeling. My husband was a bit like that but he's so easy going that he just went along with it. Can't you wine and dine your OH tonight and get him in the mood? Give him a massage maybe as well. It definitely helped iwth my husband and I felt sorry for him, but I just couldn't help but think it's easy for me to just lay there but he actually has to get in the mood so I liked doing nice little things for him as well.
     
  8. celine

    celine Well-Known Member

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    Men!
    Funnily enough my dh never 'denied' me any loving but I could tell the stress got to him, at times he just couldnt send out the spermies no matter how hard he tried.
     
  9. honey08

    honey08 mum2two boys/2mc

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    oh hun been there aswell...dont know many who aint!! the best thing to do is not tell him!! when i use 2 tell my dh i knew he felt under pressure and it just didnt happen hun, so i started using opk and when u get ur first pos (usually u get 2days of pos opk) u have 12-36hrs till u O ..plenty of time 2 catch that egg hun,and plan BD!!
    if u O around same time every mth then u will know roughly when ur most fertilite days r !! thats the best advice,just say to dh to really try for this baby u need 2 bd 3times a wk form cd10...when u get poss opk,try get extra day in :):)
    dont think ur alone hun,ur far from it! :)
     
  10. zowiey

    zowiey Nervously PG :)

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    My husband is exactly the same, it really upsets me. We made a decision to start trying for a baby together, but it's like he thinks he can just try when he wants to, and then deny it when I KNOW we need to! If that makes sense?!

    I've even asked him if he cant be bothered if he will deposit the spremies for me in a cup!!! It's like he just doesn't get it. I really want a baby and each missed opportunity is another month gone, and another month longer I have to wait, he thinks it doesn't matter, cos there's always next month! Grrr!! Sorry Ive not posted on here for ages, and it's opened me up!!!!

    I hope you manage to talk your OH around! xxx
     
  11. who's_mummy

    who's_mummy Well-Known Member

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    :hug: everyone. I just don't mention anything to my OH for fear he'll change his mind! Not that he does actually want another all that much, he's just going along with me I think!

    Gemma x
     
  12. Gemma Lou

    Gemma Lou Well-Known Member

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    I had exactly the same problem.....I knew roughly when I would be ovulating and my hubs could tell when I was as I was piling on the pressure. We decided that we should "do the do" before he went to work...but he just couldn't do it knowing that we were being "scientific"....it was awful. It made both of us feel terrible. My only advice to you would be to keep it to yourself. Don't tell him when you are ovulating......and remember, the best time to do it is within the 48 hours before you ovulate! This is how I got pregnant. When I was ovulating he wouldn't do it as I was being very obvious and it took the fun out of it for him....luckily we had been at it the previous couple of days. Just keep it to yourself....don't let him know when....then he can't worry about it!
     
  13. TigerLady

    TigerLady CaveTiger Clan Mama

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    :hug: hang in there, hon! I know you have some good tricks up your sleeve to turn him on, use them! :) Just don't mention ANYthing about O'ing or babymaking... just show him you want him for him.

    If that still doesn't work, remember what Aquarius24 said, the little swimmers can live up to 5 days, so it's still possible this month!
     
  14. EmmyReece

    EmmyReece Mummy To Olivia

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    Ohhhh hun, I REALLY know how you feel with this one. It seems like me and Chris are going through something very similar at the moment. His attitude is if it happens then it happens and he doesn't want to go out of his way to try (then he is probably thinking about the holiday we have booked for next year). We've been together now for almost two years, not long I know, but we're made for each other, and he was the one who first brought up the subject of kids. So, just wanted to say hun, if you need someone to chat to then give me a shout
     
  15. moomoo

    moomoo Mumma to 2 & 1 in heaven!

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    Hi love, i just dont tell my oh when im ovulating...so then he doesnt feel under pressure to perform. A bit sneaky but..you know what they are like! lol
     
  16. Ilovemysoldier

    Ilovemysoldier Well-Known Member

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    aww =( that must be awful for you as its obvious how bad you want a baby. Im sure he will be alright with you soon he was probably just having "a moment"! But it all fairness it must be hard for him he does feel under pressure. If hes having doubts and doesnt want to upset you aswell then that wouldnt be good. Just tell him that you understand he feels under pressure and reassure him that he isnt. Then see where it goes from there. And as you said just try harder next month?
    xx
     
  17. missbooby

    missbooby Well-Known Member

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    Thank you everyone for your lovely messages of support and advice, they were really appreciated. It never happened after all and I can't force him. But I'm going to bed with positive thoughts from all of you. Thanks again x
     
  18. missbooby

    missbooby Well-Known Member

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    Oh and CONGRATULATIONS Cerilou...fantastic news xxx
     
  19. Chris77

    Chris77 Mommy to PJ and Gavin

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    :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:
     
  20. ktsl123

    ktsl123 Well-Known Member

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    I had the same problem with my Oh. I was too pressured to have sex at the right time and I would say I am ovulating lets have sex!!

    He said he felt like I was just using him for his sperm! lol

    I understand how he could feel like that so I am not doing any ov test anymore. Even though at first I thought it would be hard I am ok because I can tell when I am oving from the EWCM and ov pains. It takes a lot of pressure off me and a lot of pressure off him too.
    Also when he says are you oving I say "I have no idea". That way sex is so much better!!!

    I don't feel like I am babymaking I feel like I am making love and that is so much better to me.
     

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