I got told off for having the downs test! (Blood, NOT amnio)

[Croc-O-Dile]

I can understand why some people are highly against the amnio test, because of all the added risks to the baby and all that. But with the blood test, there is no risk. The just prick your finger and take a bunch of samples. I still support the ladies who chose not to, it's a personal choice and we all have our reasons for getting/not getting it done.
I was asked if I had the downs/spina bifida test done and I said "yeah, they were all normal." And I got bitched at saying that it shouldn't matter whether or not my baby has downs or s/b, I should love her the same! I would love her the same! I never said I wouldn't!

I felt so attacked that I actually explained myself to this random person. (It was a friend of a friend on fb i.m)
I had it done, not because I would have felt any different or not have kept her, because I wanted to be as prepared as possible for what I was facing. I would need (want) to take special parenting classes to know how to handle a child with d/s or s/b and the added hardships that come with it. And I'd need to prepare myself emotionally for the responsibility of raising a special needs child. There are certain things you need to look for/do with a child with d/s or s/b that you wouldn't need to with a child born without it! I'd also need to find a different day-care program for when I go back to college as the one on campus isn't equipped to handle a special needs child. (The have no aids in the class) To me, these are all valid reasons for me to get the damn blood test.

I just can't believe that in trying to ensure I raised my child the best possible way I can I get called a bad person and told off. It just doesn't make any sense.

 

[Tashry]

Aw, hun, you are absolutely in the right here. You made a good decision for good reasons and should feel great that you followed through and had such wonderful results. Don't let someone give you are hard time, just ignore her. She is probably uninformed and just looking for someone to get aggressive with. Not worth your time - instead celebrate your healthy baby and enjoy your pregnancy!

 

[sleepinbeauty]

Screw her! (him?) It's none of this person's business! Honestly, I'd have it done too if it were just a blood test for the same reason. Sure, that's still my baby and I will love him/her no matter what but I would do a much better job knowing what I was up against.

Don't pay idiots like that any attention.

 

[Croc-O-Dile]

Thanks
I thought maybe she thought I had the amnio done, so I made sure to point out that it was just the risk-free blood test but she still went up in arms about it.
A good family friend has a 14 year old son with downs and he's really the sweetest person I've ever met. But she has to have him in special anger management classes now that he's hit puberty because he doesn't realize how big he is and when he gets angry and throws a fit he can really hurt somebody. Things like that always stick in my mind, because I'm a very big believer on being as prepared as humanly possible.

 

[Kailynnsmommy]

Dont let them get to you. it was your choice to have the test done. its not like u had it done so u could terminate the pregnancy if something was wrong. u just wanted to be prepared and there is nothing wrong with that. i had it done for exactly the same reason

 

[sleepinbeauty]

Block that person if they start in again. Right after you inform her that it is none of her damned business of course!

I used to dance with a group of kids/young adults with downs. Nicest people I've ever met!

 

[glitterbomb]

People don't understand NOT all people have those tests because they would terminate or not love their baby just same. Obviously knowing about these problems before hand would give the mom/dad time to prepare since the babies could require more special care.

 

[Marzipan_girl]

That is ridiculous...theres nothing wrong with the blood test--and tbh even if you DID go on to get the amino, you shouldn't be judged, as every mother is different...
I was going to get the blood test, but chickened out at the last min Hate needles!
Well it doesn't matter because I since found out I'm rhesus negative so yup...lots more needles
Sadly people ALWAYS have something to say! Grrr!!!

 

[debsxhim]

They obviously don't know what they're talking about! Anybody who is pregnant would want to know everything and take all precautions. Next time just tell them to put a sock in it and walk away.

 

[PleaseBaby]

You had your own reasons for taking that test and you dont have to explain yourself to anyone, your baby your decision

 

[leoniebabey]

Dont let anyone make you feel bad hun! It's your body and your choice wether you wanted to get it done, you dont need to justify your choice to anyone!

x

 

[sleepinbeauty]

^ Damn straight.

 

[xMissxZoiex]

You shouldnt feel bad hunni, you did the right thing for the right reasons. I will also be having these tests done! for the reasons you have pointed out also i would need to prepare myself to have a disabled child. Also when i was born i was suspected to have s/b & my spinal fluid was leaking and had to have tests done .. and was very almost put up for adoption because my partents didnt know how to deal with a disabled child also the had twin boys that were 1 and my mum had just turned 21 and couldnt cope with it. Luckily they changed there mind and kept me lol and i dont have s/b it was just a huge birth mark i have that goes from the top of my head all the way down to the bottom of my spin. I think every women has the right to chose with they want for themself and there child.

Sorry for the long post xxx

 

[lily123]

Omg... she sounds like a total idiot to be honest!
Don't let anyone tell you what you should and should not do to prepare yourself! She's your baby and mommy always knows best x x x

 

[amygwen]

Wow! You poor thing.

Don't let anyone make you feel bad about the choices you made throughout your pregnancy. Some people are just so judgmental, I wouldn't be surprised if she's never been through a pregnancy before and had to make decisions like that! She obviously has no idea what she's talking about! And even if you did get the amnio test done, it's really none of her business. It is your baby your choice!

 

[peaches31]

i agree with everything that has been said here. i myself plan to have the same test done. i was wondering if you could tell me how far along you have to be to have it done?

 

[Croc-O-Dile]

i agree with everything that has been said here. i myself plan to have the same test done. i was wondering if you could tell me how far along you have to be to have it done?

I had mine done on the same day I had my 12 week scan. I'm pretty sure that's the week you're supposed to get it done.

 

[peaches31]

thanx! im only 7 weeks now but i will be sure to ask for it around 12 weeks!

 

[aob1013]

Does this person have kids?

 

[Croc-O-Dile]

Does this person have kids?

None that I know of. She obviously was just one of those "holier than thou" people who think it's their way or the wrong way. I haven't spoken to her since this happened, but I did talk to the friend whom we knew each other through and she was pretty pissed at her for being so rude. Although, interesting twist, according to my friend this girl has a much older brother with Downs who lives in some kind of special needs adult care program. So neither one of us can figure out why she reacted the way she did. You'd think having dealt with it herself she'd understand more than ever the emotional and physical hardships that come along with raising/living with a special needs child of any sort.
I swear, I will never understand some people.