I hate my HV.....

[Dona]

Once again I post something that my HV said to me which has upset me to say the least.

I was telling her that I go back to work 3 weeks today and that Archie starts nursery 2 weeks today. Well she begins to tell me that I have a hard few months ahead of me. I asked her to explain why, she begins to tell me about all the viruses that Archie could catch at Nursery and that there are some really bad ones. She then goes on to say 'Never mind though, you do get carers time off work and sometimes even an allowance if he needs to be admitted to hospital'. This is not the first time she's made a comment or statement that's made me wanna punch her lights out. I was OK about the thought of bugs at nursery, I try not to think about them to be fair, but now I am beside myself and thinking am I doing the right thing. Dam HV I really HATE her, last time she said my Archie had a 'premmy head'. How rude does this woman need to be. I think she hates it that I do not need her help, I don't even ask her any questions as I don't respect her at all after what she said before.

For the Mummies that have or have had a prem baby at nursery, are the bugs really bad?

Dona and Archie xxx

 

[embojet]

Bloody HVs! Mine is useless too, they know nothing about preemies. Mine told me before Molly came out of SCBU that I should not go back to work as I would be 'letting her down', and that she would be demanding. Unfortunately, I NEED to go back to work in a couple of weeks. Why do they have to say these things?! I have no experience of nurseries, but IMO all kids are going to get a couple of bugs at some point in their lives, and I'm sure that the risk would be slightly increased when surrounded by other children, but we cant wrap them up in cotton wool forever. I'm sure he will be fine, and he will LOVE nursery.
Bloody HVs

 

[dannigizmo]

God hun your hv sounds as negative and a peice of work as much as Emma's physio!!

First off, yes there are bugs in a nursery and obviously they pass around the kids easily but at the end of the day he is going to get them eventually and who is even to say he would even get more than a cold!! What can she see in to the future!!

If you want me to be honest, i want Emma in a nursery 2 days a week as they come on great development wise and think nursey is good for premmie kids but am waiting to the spring. Only because i can afford to do that as have cut my hours for 6 months so just the grannies watch her. But some people dont have a choice and Emma can still get bugs this winter from me, and am a nurse in the elderly, or her wee pals who she sees every week. So they are high risk groups plus busy places etc, just like nursery.

I would say, just do what you would normally do, forgetting he is a premmie, thats just my opinion as he has been home for a while now. Emma never got any common illness while in hospital and one nurse said because she was in for 8 months and has bowel issues should keep her indoors for 6 weeks when we get home!! That was one nurse and i never too her advice and Emma hasnt been sick one day yet since we got home 4 months ago!!

And blank the hv out if you can, believe me i have mastered the art of looking like am listening!! xxx

 

[bumpsmum]

WTF??? Dona Id ask for a new HV if it was possible! She sounds like a right bumper. As embojet has said we cant wrap our kids in cotton wool forever they need to be exposed to the odd bug or too or they will end up prone to everything going whats worse? As you know Matthew is in nursery now, they are quite rigid about ilnesss so spread will be reasonably contained although unavoidable.

Matthew has so far had a bad cold and 2 viral infections and were not even into winter yet, were just going to take one day at a time. I can honestly say nursery is amazing and Archie will love it, his developement will come on great its about weighing up the risk of a bug which will be inevitable at some point.

Id def complain about that chore of a woman - Archie's far more likely to catch a cold going to baby clinic than flippin nursery! x

 

[grumpymoo]

I would absolutely refuse to see that HV ever again! They are meant to be there for support not to call your baby names and scare you to bits.

I have to say I find them a disappointment in general when it comes to prem knowledge.

Anyway, as the other ladies have said, there will be some bugs flying about, unfortunately thats kids for you but it does build up their immunity and Archie certainly sounds healthy enough to be going.

Good luck hon, and tell the HV to get lost x

 

[Dona]

Hey Girlies, thanks for all your words of support, dunno what I would do without you all!

That was her last visit thank god. She is a nippy sweetie and I'm thinking about putting in a complaint about her manner.

I totally agree with all of you that we cannot wrap our kids in cotton wool, they need to be exposed to bugs. I also agree that Nursery brings them on immensely.

Heres to bugs and Nursery!

Thanks again!

Dona and Archie xx

 

[bumpsmum]

TO BUGS AND NURSERY X

 

[lozzy21]

As some one who has worked in a nusary, yes they are lot of bugs that go about but nothing serious. Mostly colds and very ocasionaly a tummy bug or chickenpox. If the toys and equiptemnt are cleaned propperly on a regular basis they should not occur that often.

Also the more little bugs children are exposed too, it makes their immune system stronger so there bodys are more able to fight off a more serious illness.

 

[AP]

Dona

My mum always told the HV to eff off and go back to reading their textbooks - half of them dont even have their own children!

I can only agree with the others, you cant wrap him up in cotton wool forever!

 

[Foogirl]

Mine turned up the week I got home and gave me a cheery "so, where is she then" Still in hospital you dizzy cow. She then reported back that I seemed quite down. I think she went to the No Shit Sherlock School of health visiting.

Dona, we all have to do what we have o do and it is all about weighing up pros and cons. Abby will have to go to nursery in April. It's either that or we can't pay the mortgage. So I'd say the risk of a few bugs is much less than the risk of sleeping in a cardboard box!!

 

[Dona]

Mine turned up the week I got home and gave me a cheery "so, where is she then" Still in hospital you dizzy cow. She then reported back that I seemed quite down. I think she went to the No Shit Sherlock School of health visiting.

Dona, we all have to do what we have o do and it is all about weighing up pros and cons. Abby will have to go to nursery in April. It's either that or we can't pay the mortgage. So I'd say the risk of a few bugs is much less than the risk of sleeping in a cardboard box!!

Well put! xx

 

[premmiemum123]

Am so sorry to hear that you have a tactless HV...I can't believe she is not supporting you in your decisions, she is not there to dictate how you bring up your baby but to offer support and advice.
Makes my blood boil. You know your child and you know what you are doing.
I would put in a complaint...

I know we need to protect our babies but sometimes it is not practical, they need to be exposed to these germs in order to become immune and stronger. As mentioned above, nurseries have strict hygiene policies probably better than we have in our own homes. I would not worry!
Also how does a nursery differ from taking your baby to the clinics. Since Emily has been exposed to the clinic (grubby little room at the back of a church hall) she has had a succession of colds which my doctor said would happen yet he did not say 'don't go to clinic'. Silly woman, where does she get off!

Ignore her! And make a complaint!

x

 

[LMH]

My hv said to me that I needed to pull myself together when the test she gave came out as me having PND, as research has shown that baby boys whose Mums are down can have behavioural problems. My twin boys were born 9 weeks prem, Daniel died 1 1/2 hrs after birth and Alex was in special care for 5 weeks. I think I was entitled to be a little bit down!! The next time she gave me the test I lied and gave her the answers I knew whould get her off my back.

 

[Foogirl]

My hv said to me that I needed to pull myself together when the test she gave came out as me having PND, as research has shown that baby boys whose Mums are down can have behavioural problems. My twin boys were born 9 weeks prem, Daniel died 1 1/2 hrs after birth and Alex was in special care for 5 weeks. I think I was entitled to be a little bit down!! The next time she gave me the test I lied and gave her the answers I knew whould get her off my back.

You know, every one has a "My HV was shit" story, and for the most part I think we just think "ach well, a few weeks and I'm done with them"

But this just makes me rage. This woman should be reported and struck off (or whatever they do to HVs) That is absolutely appaulling. She should not be dealing with women who have had children.

 

[bumpsmum]

I agree with Foogirl, LMH the way she has treated you at such a difficult time is appauling, she has no right to tell you to 'pull yourself together' x

 

[angelstardust]

Stories like these make me so angry that you have to be a nurse for a year before becoming a HV. So many of them do not have a clue!

Children get bugs, some more so than others (my DS2 was/is a more so) regardless of where they are!

Just you remember that it is still better for him to get the odd bug from nursery than for you all to be homeless after you can't make your rent/mortgage because you stop working.

Nursery has far more positives for him. Id say more but a baby is demanding me....