I have a dilema ....

Discussion in 'General Chatter' started by CallieBert, Apr 25, 2009.

  1. CallieBert

    CallieBert Mummy to Braden

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    .... :( I dont know what to do.

    My ex boyfriend has been hanging around for a couple of weeks. And we've become close friends again. But I didn't think anything of it, until he said to me yesterday that he still loves me and wants to be with me.

    He really did hurt me when he left in october, and to be honest, i've only just got used to, and comfortable with the idea of being a single mum.

    But all I know is that I do love him, I always have. He's my babys dad, and that over anything should have some effect.

    I am just really scared that he does what he did last time, and stick around until hes bored of the ''dad'' title and walk out on me again. I don't want the baby getting used to having him around if he's gonna up and leave when hes 6months old.... its not fair on the baby.

    I really don't know what to do, its not just me and my happiness anymore, if so this decision would be an easy one.... but i have a child to think about now ...

    I really don't know what to do :cry:

    What would you do?
     
  2. Pops

    Pops Proud Mum & Wifey

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    I don't really have any advice having never been in a similar situation but I guess lots of talking and time are the only things that are going to help you with this. Do you have a gut feeling on it? An instinct as to whether he really means it now he knows what life will be like without you in it?

    I hope the others can offer some better advice but I can send lots of :hugs: and say I really hope it works out how you want it to xxx
     
  3. CallieBert

    CallieBert Mummy to Braden

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    My gut feeling tells me he must mean it, i just dont understand why he'd say it if he didnt..... but then again, I thought that last time (when i first found out I was pregnant, we had a house which both out parents bought for us, we were happy and then one day he just decided he's had enough of not being able to go out with the guys all the time) that could very well happen again, and with only 8 weeks to go, i'm not sure i'm ready to change the way I have everything planned. But if its the best thing for the baby, I will do it. I just don't know
     
  4. cherylanne

    cherylanne Mum/first tri #2

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    Your right that there isn't just you to consider anymore. I'd go with your instincts, if you believe he'll up and leave in 6 months time is it worth going through it all again? On the other hand have you tried talking to him about the reason he left the first time? maybe if you discuss it you can work through it together.

    It's upto you hun, take your time and don't rush into anything your not 100% sure about xx
     
  5. princess_bump

    princess_bump Happy Wife & Mumma!

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    i agree, don't rush :hugs: i would take it slowly, see how you go, and maybe once your baby is here, and you've spent time all together, see how you feel big big :hugs: x
     
  6. CallieBert

    CallieBert Mummy to Braden

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    Yeah, I guess thats best thing to do. I'll have a talk with him, let him know i can't rush things, for the babys sake if anyone

    Thanks for the advice girls! x
     
  7. PrincessSoph

    PrincessSoph Well-Known Member

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    hope it works out for the best for you and your baby hun :hugs:
     
  8. todteach

    todteach Dreams can come true

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    It sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders hun. xox Have a talk explaining exactly how you feel, and wait for his reaction. Take care and good luck.:hugs:
     
  9. MummyMummy

    MummyMummy Well-Known Member

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    all i'm going to say to you is think of YOU, forget that you are a mother. a happy mummy makes a happy baby. i was with my ex for a long time because 'he's my babys daddy' and believe me that can't go on forever, in the end you'll get fed up with that mindset. it isn't being selfish, it's being mature. many many women bringup babies alone and they do a fantastic job, and their children have so much love and support. you sound from your posts like both sets of parents will be therefor you and your little one.

    the fact you are in doubt and unsure speaks volumes.

    both you and your baby will do great just you two, so don't worry about that side of it!

    xXx
     

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