I have a few questions if anyone could help me xx

[Maidenet]

Right, so after 4 miscarriages, 2 being twin losses me and my partner have decided to give trying a miss for a long LONG time. Its too much for use to keep going through.
We have been tested and so far, have been told there is no reason for it to be happening.

We have looked at adoption, and also surrogacy, and surrogacy seems the best way forward for us.

My friend would like to be a surrogate mum for us

I have spoke to her at lenght about this, and what it would mean... the risks with pregnancy etc... But, she is adiment she wants to do it.

Apparently, she decided along time ago she didnt want any children and was looking into giving her eggs away, and also surrogacy.

My question is, after me having 4 miscarriages.... does this mean we couldnt even try surrogacy? Hum, I guess, what im trying to say is, would some body elses oven be able to keep my baby? Or, is there a big chance that its my eggs or my partners sperm thats the problem?

Also, where do you start with surrogacy? who do we speak too?

Thanks ladies xxxxx

 

[x_Rainbow_x]

erm... well if the problems with your eggs then no nomatter where there housed the problem can still occur. It would take further tests on you and hubby to check. It might be a case of donor egg or sperm.
Surrogacy is a very long process but youl need that time to save as the NHS wont do surrogacy. You have to have a massive read up on everything to be 100% aware of the process but id say visit your gyne and tell him your plans hel talk to you and point you in the right direction.
It might not be your eggs or the sperms problem but might be you have a weak womb and cant carry very well. you need to go demand some more tests.

xx

 

[Maidenet]

We have had the basic hospital tests done, like blood count, hormones, PCOS plus others that I cant remember (going to ask for a print out) and also, we are waiting on the genetics one that me and my partner had done.

Dont they test your eggs and sperm if you do surrogacy anyway?

What about IVF? Would that be an option? I read that they test the eggs and sperms for defects before they grow them? xx

You have to excuse me, I have read up so much on this resently, and I find it hard to understand everything!!

 

[x_Rainbow_x]

thats not IVF, thats a different thing. before they grow them in a brand new procedure that isnt available anywhere yet but one clinic but they wont practice it on anyone. Only other option when you test the eggs and sperm before is something called PGD, but they have to no what there looking for in order to test the eggs because they take a stem cell from a growing embryo. They use it on people who have genetic diseases and chromosome malfunctions that will get passed on or hinder a pregnancy. I no alot about this because this is what i have 2 go threw.
Id wait for the genetics, even if they do find a problem genetics wise there is hope. Id wait for the genetics and if still nothing go back and discuss it, write down everything thats bothering you they have to answer you thats what there payed for.

 

[Maidenet]

Oh right!!! The internet is so confusing! and so is fertility!

We are back on the 25th of next month for the results of the genetic testing.

I dont even no what I should be asking. I read that after 3 miscarriges they should be testing me every 2 days to see if my HCG is rising, and if it is they should then be testing to see if my prostrogen is high enough? I also read about the asprin thing.

There is so much information!

I have saved alot of it on my laptop ready to print and take in.

My Dr, last time I saw him, he said that there is only 50% of testing avaliable... and I had been given all the tests! The other 50% is an area that cant be tested yet as Science isnt developed enough!!

xx

p.s Thanks for your help x

 

[x_Rainbow_x]

aghh you see thats the problem, but i dont see why they cant send it out further to london or something.
Asprin is for people who have sticky blood, im guessing youv had a test for that, they can give it you but thats up to a doctor as the dosage is so low.
As for bloods every two days can happen but alot dont do it, they just scan you earlier.

Can i ask do your m/cs have a pattern? all my m/cs ended at exactly 7 weeks gestation then id find out few weeks later.

 

[Maidenet]

Yeah, they all ended at 6-7 weeks, we had been getting early scans but, the last one they didnt determine it had ended untill I should of been 10 weeks gone... but it had stopped growing at 6 weeks. xxx

 

[CurlySue]

Like other people have said, you'd need to establish the reason behind your pregnancies. If the problem is your egg or your OH's sperm then no matter who carried the embryo, there could still be problems. I'm sure the testing would be extensive. Surrogacy is not cheap and they would not want you throwing money away on a long shot that cannot work.

Good luck, whatever you decide.

 

[Maidenet]

I dont no what to do though, if the NHS are telling me ive had all the tests done that excist? and so far there is NO reason for my losses xx

 

[CurlySue]

I dont no what to do though, if the NHS are telling me ive had all the tests done that excist? and so far there is NO reason for my losses xx

That might mean that you've just been unlucky, then. Surrogacy is a huge step, bypassing a few of your own. It IS an expense, and unless you are convinced it could give you a better chance then it might be worthwhile looking into other options. Have you had progesterone tests, etc? Have you had all of the blood work done? Sometimes it's as simple as not producing enough progesterone in early pregnancy. It's hard, but if it's a problem with the embryos then surrogacy would not be any better than carrying the baby yourself. Could you not ask to be carefully monitored whilst pregnant?

 

[Maidenet]

Are there other options that could help me? I have looked but, honestly the information on the net is so confusing for me and my partner!
I no surrogacy is expensive, but... if its the only way to get a baby, then we are willing to cross that path.
I had bloodwork done yes, and it all come back normal / negative. Progesterone.... I asked my Dr about this... and he said that it doesnt do anything! It just prolongs a miscarriage which is going to happen already?

xx

 

[x_Rainbow_x]

all i can advise is wait for the genetics that could hold the answer, if still nothing then get a second opionin.

 

[Maidenet]

Well, I have been sent another NHS appointment out, I dont no why they sent me it tbh as I have had the NHS testing... its with another Dr though.... do you recon its worth going? or should I seek advice else where? xx

 

[x_Rainbow_x]

when u have genetic testing they usually send you to see a specialist that can expalin the results to you as if there is a problem they can explain them better and tell you the next step. After that youl see a diff specialist if theres a problem. so yes id go. you might be missing something important and trust me trying 2 get an appointment with these ppl is hard.

 

[Maidenet]

Thanks for all of your advice. I rang up the hospital this morning to ask what the appointment was for.
It turns out, its a specialist infertility clinic and the guy im seeing is basically the "top" guy to see so hell yeah im off!!!

Eeeeeeek, basically she said he would run further tests.... So much for "ive run all the tests possible"

xx

 

[FBbaby]

hiya, just happened to pass your thread.
I know there are many reasons why you might be miscarrying, even just random 'bad luck', but a few years ago, I was investigated for the possibility of suffering from lupus and I remember reading that it could be a cause of recurrent miscarriages.
Here's a link that provides details (there will be many more): https://www.bellaonline.com/articles/art59817.asp

Just thought I would share that with you so that you can maybe bring it up at your appointment, if your GP has tested you for this yet.
Good luck, I really hope you get there in the end, either by yourself or the help of a surrogate.

 

[Maidenet]

Thanks hun xxx