I just cant do it :(

[mamarix16]

I just dont know how I am going to get through this I spend every second of every day thinking I am going to miscarry, every time I go to the loo I cant look, every cramp I have a think that is it I have spoken to the EPU and they have offered me an early scan next sat 14th of Feb which is wonderful but when every second feels like a lifetime it seems so far away - I have had two children before and this is my third very unexxpected but very much wanted baby - I am a wreck all I can do is cry and try and prepare myself for the worst, I know this is not normal but no one can help me through it - I still have 6 and a half weeks left of the first trimester and I am in bits - I cant stand feeling so miserable when I have two beautiful children and an amazing husband but it is my absolute worst fear ever - I have never been so scared - I am a mess

 

[spicyorange]

I think being anxious is totally normal, and sometimes being on here seeing people who have lost babies doesn't help but you seem to be experiencing some quite extreme feelings, have you spoken to a Dr about possible prenatal depression?

 

[BabyJayne]

Everyone is anxious at this time (see my thread today - Anyone not had an early scan?) but your anxiety seems to be so much more than what it should be. Are you normally an anxious or panicky person in day to day life, or is this something you are only experiencing now? I would definitely ask to see a midwife or a doctor and explain how you are feeling. Hope you feel better soon.

 

[TieraIse]

Owww hun really sorry your feeling this way, I went through the exact same fear after a terrible miscarriage. Its really true nothing can shake it off when your in that state but what I will say is that an early scan will give you reassurance that everything is fine. Just hold on for the next week or so and try not to stress too much I was in the very same state and went for my early scan this week. This is my first baby and I'm paranoid about every little ache but my scan helped settle me down heard my little ones heartbeat and sitting on 6weeks 4days we are probably due around the same time.

 

[Bumblebee2408]

I know how you feel it's awful I lost 4 babies before I got Jack and I'm nervous and constantly doubting myself and wondering how babies doing.

I've not got an early scan this time!!

 

[mamarix16]

Thank you so much for all your replies, I had antenatal anxiety with both my other babies, as soon as they were born I was absolutely fine but it's this first twelve weeks that make me so upset, especially as I think I have two beautiful babies surely I am not deserving of another one when so many beautiful woman suffer each and every day for just one baby, I have spoken to the lead midwife at the ePu and she is going to scan every two weeks until twelve week mark which is so nice and so kind but it's the day to day living that I find hard, every second worrying ergh thank you so much darling SSS

 

[tallybee]

it's a really tense time xx try and just focus on doing things to keep busy and your mind off worrying, I know it's easier said than done. Hoping everything goes great for you x

 

[KBCupcake]

I was very anxious as well. I'm 10w and this is the furthest I've gotten because all 3 previous pregnancies ended at 8w or earlier. This pregnancy I had a lot of cramping and spotting which made me feel even worse, and I had to wait 2 wks to get my scan after I scheduled it.

The worry eases over time. Especially when you have your u/s done and see the hb. It'll be ok.

 

[heather2629]

I was the same way, and I honestly still am. At first, I dreaded going to the bathroom and I would refuse to look anywhere near the toilet just in case. Slowly, that got better. I'm not as afraid anymore, though I'm still anxious. It will get better for you, too. If you ever need anyone to talk to about this, please feel free to message me. I 100% understand what you're going through. Hugs!

 

[Natasha2605]

Massive to you xx

 

[littlejune]

I'm really sorry you're feeling this way. I'm a worrier myself, but being a woman of faith I found praying helped me the most with this season of uncertainty. I do think it would be worth talking to your doc. about.

I also think spicyorange had a great point- sometimes the internet makes it seem as though things going wrong are much more likely than things going right. Sometimes things happen, but you have odds in your favour that they won't. When I was so paranoid I told myself that it would be horribly sad to not enjoy a healthy pregnancy because of fear as well. Don't let your experience be ruined because of fear. Wait on that scan and don't google things- don't let those thoughts take hold. I know it's easier said than done- I am a behaviourally modified OCD sufferer and sometimes bad thoughts just take over- but you CAN control them.

Try to enjoy this phase, as scary as it is for everyone especially with raging hormones. For what it's worth, I will pray for you to have peace.

 

[spunky84]

I'm honestly right there with you. I used to struggle with anxiety in general, but I found a way to cope with it, but with this pregnancy, I've been terrified of miscarriage (I had some spotting/clots which triggered the whole thing). I was so bad during the first week that I couldn't focus on anything, and if I hadn't found a way to pull myself together for a few days, I'd probably be failing my classes right now.

I addressed my concerns with my midwife. She prescribed buspar as needed. I don't really like the idea of taking medicine while pregnant, but I also have to be able to function (and on my bad days, I can't function). I've only taken it a few times, but I will say that it has helped tremendously. Sometimes it completely alleviates the anxiety. The other times it doesn't, it decreases it to a point that I can get through it.

I don't know how you feel about medications or if that is an option for you, but I wanted to throw that out there. But you're definitely not alone in this. I'm glad they're allowing a scan to help reassure you