I just had the worst day...

[FJL]

Today was one of the worst days i've had during this cycle (and i've had some shockers!).

I went back to work today for the first time in over a week (since EPU and ET). I work at a vet clinic (i'm a nurse) and today my boss who is the clinic owner was there as well as a 5th year intern. The intern happens to be 22 weeks pregnant. I forgot she was coming and when I met her and realised she was pregnant I was a bit but after talking to her for 5 minutes I just wanted to cry.

I asked her what year she was in and she pretty much said 5th year, that she was pregnant now and that it was an accident and then she laughed. I was honestly dying inside. She then proceeded to complain about how she can't ride her horse until the baby is born. I coldly told her that it was really her decision whether or not she wanted to take the risk and if she was happy with her decision not to ride then don't complain. I couldn't help it.

From then on I felt so emotional, overhearing her and my boss talk about her pregnancy I just wanted to burst out in tears.

Then my boss asked me how I was feeling. I lost it, I burst into tears and was a blubbering mess. She then explained to the confused intern that I was doing IVF (which I might add I did not give her permission to blurt out). I then told my boss what happened in sydney, news of my ute etc and from then on I just couldn't stop crying for a good 30 minutes. In that 30 minutes the following happened:

* I was told that I was young and that I have a good 20 years to have a child. Through tears and trauma I told them that I don't give a shit how much time I have, that this is killing me, the emotional aspects are so intense. I was then told that humans are very resilient and we can go through more than we think and that a lady has written a book about it. The author had her father shoot her 2 kids and she got through that and that what i'm going through won't ever be as bad as that so to just carry on.

* My boss thought it appropriate to point out to the intern that i'm not normally like this, and normally i'm skinny and fit but 'thats gone up in smoke'. I have put on a shitload of weight with the stress of everything this year but my god...do I really need to be told i'm fat with everything thats going on?

* Right after the above, the intern told me that the progesterone i'm on was probably making my face rounder as when she was first pregnant, it did the same to her.

I'll now point out that my BMI is 25...i'm not normally this big, but i'm not actually fat, just a bit podgy right now.

* They then went on about how they felt when they were first pregnant and how emotional they were and that its the drugs making me emotional.
Keep in mind I was balling my eyes out this whole time, I couldn't stop and they went on and on trying to make me feel better but not knowing they were the ones making me cry.

* My boss (again, so appropriate) asked the intern what she was having. She said a boy (in a disapointed voice) saying that she bets she's never lucky enough to have a girl because they're all boys on her husbands side.

* My boss again said (for about the 500th time this year) that she gets pregnant just looking at her husband and the intern felt the need to have a big laugh about it...even though I was still in friggen tears.

* Later that day they were going out for a calving gone wrong, and the intern couldn't stop laughing because her overalls don't fit her anymore. She was then making comments throughout the day (to me, after everything that happened that morning) about how she doesn't know what shes gotten herself into, and how she really wanted to have a few years with being a vet before having kids but that since she was 33 she 'guessed' it was ok.

The thing with my boss is that she is such a lovely sweet lady most of the time, and when she's not being exactly that, she thinks she is. So nothing she says is intended to come across nasty. If she was being a downright bit.ch even though she's my boss I would say something, but her thinking she's being nice makes it so hard. I would just feel too uncomfortable to say anything.

I just feel like shit. I'm so upset. I've had such an awful day and all of the above made me so upset beyond words.
If it wasn't for the fact that money is really tight i'd have quit right then and there.

Thank god I now have 2 days off.

I can't wait till DH gets home, I need the worlds biggest hug

 

[krissi]

Sorry to hear they were so insensitive hun, people who have never had problem TTC cannot understand how hard it is, I am sure they didn't been to be such dicks. You would think with all the years of education to be vets they would be able to use there brains a bit better, Thank god they work with animals and not people as from what you say their bedside manner would be crap xx

Try to stay positive this is the beginning of something great for you x

 

[Mrs R]

Oh hun, that really was the day from hell!! I won't try to pretend I understand what you are going through but I just wanted to send you a big

Hope you are feeling better soon x

 

[loopylew]

sorry hun xx people are just insensitive

 

[wannabmum]

I'm sos sorry huni,that is not the sort of comments u need especially not at the moment, I have found allot of people are under the impression that u going threw IVF u mus b so excited...... WRONG!! The only bit I foung exciting was the run up to it I found it emotional, stressful and down right terrifing correct if u think I'm wrong. I really am sorry u had to endure this but please try and stay strong.

xxxxx

 

[Sinead]

 

[Loula]

Can you be blunt with them FJL? Print off a list of comments you were hurt by and shame them into shutting the fuck up?

Why don't people think?? Have they no empathy?? I thought being in the caring professions they would be a little compassionate towards your current state??

This has to be the worst case of foot in mouth I ever heard of. I am fuming on your behalf.

 

[Helen_26]

so sorry that you had a really crappy day. I wish people would think before they open their mouth.
I't s bad enough when people say things without realising what you are going through, but when it's people who know you and your situation well then it makes it so much worse.
Try to stay strong hun and remember we are here for you.

 

[waiting4u]

That is terrible. You, however, are much stronger than me....I am afraid I would have had to leave for the day!

 

[**angel**]

OMG hun how awful and inconsiderate i think i would of walked out so how brave u r xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[aflight84]

OMG I can't believe that your boss is such a prick. "sorry" I would make a stand hun cos that's just no right!
You have enough to deal with without putting up with crap like that.
When my boss comes back to work i'm going to be sitting down with him and explaining what's going on as i'm going to be going for a lot of appointments soon - he's normally very understanding but I know i'll have his full support on this. He would never dream of upsetting me like yours has.

I hope your hubby gives you the biggest hug ever!

Fingers crossed for the 20th!

Anna
x x

 

[Beckic]

OMG - I am screaming at the computer on your behalf. ARGHHHHHHH.

What insensitive stupid idiots

I am so sorry hunni.



Bx x

 

[pixielou]

Hi FJL, omg that is so inconsiderate. How could they continue even talkiing about it have they got no compassion?

Really hope this doesent upset you for too long and that you feel better later!
X

 

[chefamy1122]

Oh honey that sounds like an absolutely horrible day. I am sooooo sorry you had to deal with all this. People just DON'T GET IT unless they have been thru the heartache of trying to conceive.

 

[faye38]

omg im really shocked at these woman thay sound so bitchy and have now feelings ! i feel so sorry for you having to be round that sort of people! who needs that when you trying for a baby ! it sounds like there not very mertenal anyway some people just dont understand shame you cant get a job somewhere else hun and keep up whith the ivf and stay postive enjoy life good luck keep us posted luv faye

 

[miel]

Peoples can be so cruel and plain stupid!!!!!!!!!!!!1

i am so sorry sweetheart ...

 

[Carolina]

it amazes me how people can be so insensitive without even realising it!

 

[maz]

I can't believe how insensitive some people are. It's one thing when people don't know your situation, but when fully aware of what you're going through is a completely different scenario.

 

[akcher]

I can't believe they have the nerve to say all those things. To do it the first day you are back just makes it so much worse. How could they be laughing when you are crying?!? I hope you are feeling better.

Lots of super glue vibes

 

[diva4180]

OMG sweetheart I wish I could just give you a huge hug!!! I feel so angry on your behalf, I can't believe how awful they were being!! What a bunch of insensitive jerks, and to have the nerve to be laughing and joking while you are sitting there in front of them crying? That's f-ing low, beyond low ...I wish I could give them a piece of my mind! I'm so sorry you had to hear all of that unnecessary crap, and I hope you enjoy you two days off, you really need it!