I just need to RANT

[lisaalove]

At this very moment I HATE my DH like with a burning passion I wish I could look him dead in the eyes take his stupid fucking headphones off and smash them then take his computer and throw it on the ground while laughing like a lunatic. I can't stand listening to him playing video games it is the most annoying thing in the world listening to him get pissed off about a game and yelling at people via microphone because they aren't doing their job or some shit. He promised me he wouldn't play games after baby was here and that he had just started playing them again a lot because he knew he wouldn't be able to after we had baby. Well he did good the first few days home were on day 11 of baby being out and the last three days this game has creeped back into our lives again more and more. He was up till almost 5am playing it last night and was sleeping when I left to the doctor appointment at 10 this morning with the boys and got back and he was playing the stupi fucking game. Is it wrong if I want to just "accidentally" forget to pay the Internet bill so that he can't play his game? I can't stand this. I understand he doesn't feel like he can do much either baby because he is very much a mommas boy he's either sleeping with me feeding or just wants me to hold him. Which by all means I am okay with but I would like it if he would make an effort to clean the house or play with our other son I need to go grocer shopping and am really not looking forward to it as like I said baby just wants to eat or be held the entire time so I'm worried shopping will be hell. I insinuated that maybe while I had to go run errands last night that he could sweep and mop for me at least (can't really fuck that up!) And of course he didn't I got back home and he was playing bis game. I don't know how much more I can handle I'm going crazy I feel like he loves this game more than he loves his own family. Now while I know that isn't true that's just how I feel right now.....

 

[horseybird]

Didn't want to read and run. Could you have a chat and agree he does certain chores before playing them? They may make you feel like he is pulling his weight more xx

Goid luck x

 

[tulip1975]

Those games are massive time sucks. Logistically, he can't be a new dad (or a good DH) and play those games because they are so addictive. Ask him to stop for a period of time - say 3 or 4 weeks just so that it is at least something he can commit to right now.

I had a friend with this problem - although I met her when her children were slightly older. Eventually she tired of the burden of raising a man child.

 

[justmeinlove]

Gamers can be responsible humans too. Ignore the fact that it's the game and talk to him about the fact that he isn't pulling his weight at All and needs to start.

 

[Unlucky41]

Lisaalove,

I totally understand how you feel. Before the bub came my husband would come home early and play games until I came home. I usually works late hence it was ok. Now with the bub be decides he can't help putting her to sleep so he would play games. So while I listen to her crying and crying he has his headphones on listening to his games. So angry! I would say Oh my she is worst then normal did you hear. You would pretend to say yes I can. One day I caught him out when he said she is bad today and I went no she didn't even cry.

I got mad and said I needed his support even though his daughter preferred me to put her to bed. She a terrible sleeper and get clingy to me. I don't get any rest all day as she only naps on me and she is now eight months!

Anyway after two weeks of arguments he has given up on the game unless he ask for permission. Hehe.

I think the other girls are right though it is healthier to get him to do a few things and afterwards he gets to play. Just say you would love his help with such and such.

 

[ButterCup17]

Ugh I swear this could be my post except my son is 14 months... sorry, no help here as I'm STILL struggling with this. I swear my oh is useless...

 

[ElizabethK_]

I totally know how you feel... My DH is ALWAYS on that stupid computer playing that stupid game and our DD is 2 months old. He's been on it since day one, even though he did say he wouldn't play as much... I've talked and talked and talked and argued with him about it, nothing changes... He does vacuum or do the dishes sometimes but that's about it. He's not involved with the baby and he doesn't do anything to care for her.... I think gaming is as great an addiction as drugs...

 

[babe2ooo]

Awww hun I know how annoying that can be. Luckily my dh plays games on his phone all the time and it's so annoying. I think u need to have a chat with him and tell him u need his help more. When u have more than one child u need your dh to help out with them when your dealing with the baby. I think men just don't get it. Don't know why but they don't.

 

[sethsmummy]

my husband is not allowed on his game unless all of the boys are in bed. I deal with ds3 but its his job to put ds1/ds2 to bed and wait till they are asleep. He has the odd time just now where he goes on through the day but he knows the whole "cant im doing XXXXX" doesnt wash with me and the internet as so easily "accidentally" switched off resulting in an LD and him being kicked from the group hes in Im a gamer too but havent played properly since being 7 months pregnant. xx

 

[NoodleSnack]

I think you should tell him what you wrote: that his gaming makes you feel like he loves it more than his family. When he says that's not true, it's ridiculous etc, that's what his action says, so he needs to make some changes, create a list of household chores you think he should do, when it's okay for him to play, what happens when baby cry during the night - it will save you both a lot of resentment.

 

[lisaalove]

Thank you everyone. We currently have family visiting so I plan on having a talk with him when family leaves. I just don't get it. He goes through phases where he won't play for months and the. He goes months without playing and then he'll go on a binder and play nonstop for months...