vvvoid
me and the fiance
- Joined
- Feb 21, 2013
- Messages
- 27
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Hello.
I am brand new here, but I felt I needed to talk about this.
I miscarried my baby at 1am yesterday morning.
I found out I was pregnant on my birthday, February 15th. The doctor did a blood test a week prior and said I was 2.5-3 mos pregnant with an hcg level of 55,000.
I had been missing periods since December 15th, but I have PCOS so this was not abnormal. I was also under a lot of stress at the time. Part of me didn't want to know, that's why it took me until February to get tested.
I was planning, after Friday the 15th finding out, to get an ultrasound. But the day before yesterday I began to bleed and have menstrual cramps. I've never had a child, but no amount of reading that "bleeding is normal" could convince me that I was not miscarrying. I knew I was. Bleeding may be OK while pregnant but cramping with blood is definitely not OK. So I went to the hospital around 2pm on Tuesday. They did tests, my hcg was 13567 and the ultrasound put the baby at 6 weeks 6 days. I was very confused. I had missed periods since December, LMP being around Thanksgiving. My hcg had been 55,000 and my GP had placed me at 3 mos based on blood level. But the ultrasound placed me at 6.6 weeks. I don't understand that, any thoughts?
Anyways, I was discharged from the hospital with the diagnosis of inevitable miscarriage or missed miscarriage. They did not warn me at all about what was to come.
I started to experience an increase in cramping Tuesday evening. I went to bed and woke up at 1am in AGONY.
I did not have contractionS. I had one big, long contractioN that lasted until 2:30 am. There was no break in between, the contraction was just constant. I was crawling on the ground screaming, no position was comfortable. I have never, never, ever been in that kind of pain.
I wanted to do this naturally, so I refused to go to the hospital.
I crawled to the bathroom to sit on the toilet. I passed lemon sized clots, enough that if they were all put together they'd amount to the diameter of a basketball.
I also passed the fetal sac.
My baby seemed horribly deformed. It was 3/4 the size of a lemon wedge, about 2.5 inches long. But it wasn't developed enough to be so big. It had limb buds, a tail bud, the oblong head of an embryo. It basically looked like a giant embryo. Far too big for its level of development. It was also red, no flesh colored tissue. I considered that a) the color could be the result of it having been dead inside me for a while now and b) whatever its size when I delivered it, it was probably a bit bigger before, because they shrink in the womb when they die.
I never got a satisfactory explanation of the age, it's very frustrating. I wonder if maybe the ultrasound tech had a hard time discerning size and age because of its shape, since it was misshapen and underdeveloped for its size.
The labor pains gradually lessened once I passed the baby. But after the worst of it was over, I basically fainted while crawling on the floor. I suppose that's normal after labor?
I was finally able to go to sleep around 3 something on Wednesday morning. I woke up around 9am and felt a lot better, way less cramping, but still passing huge lemon sized clots. I still didn't want to go to the ER. I don't like the way they treat you there. But suddenly around noon I felt my head was spinning, I had never been so dizzy. So I went to the ER.
My BP upon arrival was something like 80/50. They told me I had lost way too much blood and that I should have gone to the ER the minute I went into labor. I was in shock from the blood loss. My cervix was closed and the clots stopped passing, but they struggled to get my bp up. The first round of IV solution didn't do the trick, which is quite unusual. They got our a huuuuge bag of saline and pumped it into me and my bp reached 103 systolic, so I was able to be discharged. I was told I was anemic and put on ferrous sulfate along with DHA and flagyl.
I'm still quite dizzy and I'm bleeding but it's more like a period now.
I plan to bury my baby in a cemetery with my boyfriend, a very old beautiful cemetery no longer in use.
We hope to try again soon.
My questions:
1) What do you guys make of my baby looking the way it did? I took a photo if anyone has the stomach for it. I'm so baffled and I don't understand why it looks the way it does. I brought it into the hospital for them to examine it, and they did, but they told me nothing about what they saw. Like I said, it was the size of a fetus at least 12 weeks along but its development was that of an embryo, barely looked human. I just want to know how that could happen
2) The labor pains---I have read that miscarriage labor can be more intense or awful than full term labor because there is no baby to push against and also there can sometimes be no break between contractions. In this way, it's akin to the final stage of labor when the contractions are one on top of the other. It seems cruel that I lost my baby and got to experience the worst labor pains with nothing to show for it but an empty womb. Has anyone else experienced the kind of contractions I'm talking about, super intense with no space in between them? Why would this happen with a miscarriage and such a small fetus?
3) The blood loss...is that normal? I was so out of it I could hardly monitor how much blood I was losing. Apparently it was much too much for my body as I went into shock. I still feel woozy and weak, like I could be knocked over with a feather.
I'm sad about losing the baby and seeing it look so broken, so hopeless, but I'm proud of myself for enduring the labor without help. I now understand what my body is capable of. I always thought it was sappy and cliche when women said that about labor, but I really do feel proud of my body. As painful as it was, and even though I didn't get to hold a healthy baby in my arms, I'd go through it again in a heartbeat. It was a monumental experience. I have faith in my body. I was told many women don't go into labor from a miscarriage and have to have a DnC, but my body did its job and expelled it like it was supposed to. I did lose too much blood, but other than that, my body knew what it was doing.
I'd love to hear from other women who had similar experience, or anyone really. I'm trying to process a whole lot of things and feedback would be tremendously helpful.
Thanks for listening guys.
I am brand new here, but I felt I needed to talk about this.
I miscarried my baby at 1am yesterday morning.
I found out I was pregnant on my birthday, February 15th. The doctor did a blood test a week prior and said I was 2.5-3 mos pregnant with an hcg level of 55,000.
I had been missing periods since December 15th, but I have PCOS so this was not abnormal. I was also under a lot of stress at the time. Part of me didn't want to know, that's why it took me until February to get tested.
I was planning, after Friday the 15th finding out, to get an ultrasound. But the day before yesterday I began to bleed and have menstrual cramps. I've never had a child, but no amount of reading that "bleeding is normal" could convince me that I was not miscarrying. I knew I was. Bleeding may be OK while pregnant but cramping with blood is definitely not OK. So I went to the hospital around 2pm on Tuesday. They did tests, my hcg was 13567 and the ultrasound put the baby at 6 weeks 6 days. I was very confused. I had missed periods since December, LMP being around Thanksgiving. My hcg had been 55,000 and my GP had placed me at 3 mos based on blood level. But the ultrasound placed me at 6.6 weeks. I don't understand that, any thoughts?
Anyways, I was discharged from the hospital with the diagnosis of inevitable miscarriage or missed miscarriage. They did not warn me at all about what was to come.
I started to experience an increase in cramping Tuesday evening. I went to bed and woke up at 1am in AGONY.
I did not have contractionS. I had one big, long contractioN that lasted until 2:30 am. There was no break in between, the contraction was just constant. I was crawling on the ground screaming, no position was comfortable. I have never, never, ever been in that kind of pain.
I wanted to do this naturally, so I refused to go to the hospital.
I crawled to the bathroom to sit on the toilet. I passed lemon sized clots, enough that if they were all put together they'd amount to the diameter of a basketball.
I also passed the fetal sac.
My baby seemed horribly deformed. It was 3/4 the size of a lemon wedge, about 2.5 inches long. But it wasn't developed enough to be so big. It had limb buds, a tail bud, the oblong head of an embryo. It basically looked like a giant embryo. Far too big for its level of development. It was also red, no flesh colored tissue. I considered that a) the color could be the result of it having been dead inside me for a while now and b) whatever its size when I delivered it, it was probably a bit bigger before, because they shrink in the womb when they die.
I never got a satisfactory explanation of the age, it's very frustrating. I wonder if maybe the ultrasound tech had a hard time discerning size and age because of its shape, since it was misshapen and underdeveloped for its size.
The labor pains gradually lessened once I passed the baby. But after the worst of it was over, I basically fainted while crawling on the floor. I suppose that's normal after labor?
I was finally able to go to sleep around 3 something on Wednesday morning. I woke up around 9am and felt a lot better, way less cramping, but still passing huge lemon sized clots. I still didn't want to go to the ER. I don't like the way they treat you there. But suddenly around noon I felt my head was spinning, I had never been so dizzy. So I went to the ER.
My BP upon arrival was something like 80/50. They told me I had lost way too much blood and that I should have gone to the ER the minute I went into labor. I was in shock from the blood loss. My cervix was closed and the clots stopped passing, but they struggled to get my bp up. The first round of IV solution didn't do the trick, which is quite unusual. They got our a huuuuge bag of saline and pumped it into me and my bp reached 103 systolic, so I was able to be discharged. I was told I was anemic and put on ferrous sulfate along with DHA and flagyl.
I'm still quite dizzy and I'm bleeding but it's more like a period now.
I plan to bury my baby in a cemetery with my boyfriend, a very old beautiful cemetery no longer in use.
We hope to try again soon.
My questions:
1) What do you guys make of my baby looking the way it did? I took a photo if anyone has the stomach for it. I'm so baffled and I don't understand why it looks the way it does. I brought it into the hospital for them to examine it, and they did, but they told me nothing about what they saw. Like I said, it was the size of a fetus at least 12 weeks along but its development was that of an embryo, barely looked human. I just want to know how that could happen
2) The labor pains---I have read that miscarriage labor can be more intense or awful than full term labor because there is no baby to push against and also there can sometimes be no break between contractions. In this way, it's akin to the final stage of labor when the contractions are one on top of the other. It seems cruel that I lost my baby and got to experience the worst labor pains with nothing to show for it but an empty womb. Has anyone else experienced the kind of contractions I'm talking about, super intense with no space in between them? Why would this happen with a miscarriage and such a small fetus?
3) The blood loss...is that normal? I was so out of it I could hardly monitor how much blood I was losing. Apparently it was much too much for my body as I went into shock. I still feel woozy and weak, like I could be knocked over with a feather.
I'm sad about losing the baby and seeing it look so broken, so hopeless, but I'm proud of myself for enduring the labor without help. I now understand what my body is capable of. I always thought it was sappy and cliche when women said that about labor, but I really do feel proud of my body. As painful as it was, and even though I didn't get to hold a healthy baby in my arms, I'd go through it again in a heartbeat. It was a monumental experience. I have faith in my body. I was told many women don't go into labor from a miscarriage and have to have a DnC, but my body did its job and expelled it like it was supposed to. I did lose too much blood, but other than that, my body knew what it was doing.
I'd love to hear from other women who had similar experience, or anyone really. I'm trying to process a whole lot of things and feedback would be tremendously helpful.
Thanks for listening guys.
