i need advice please quickly

[spicysugar]

i was on the computer last night and the messenger signs in automatically on my daughters account she is 11, anyway all these 16 year old boys who she doesnt know am sure and these other kids 11-16 were messengering her some calling her lesbo etc and swearing at her luckily she was at a sleepover so she didnt see but it got me thinking so i checked her bebo and she was chatting to people she hadnt even met that were older than her. Anyway the friends house she was sleeping at was on messenger and i got to speak to my daughter i told her what had happend and said i would like to delete her bebo and change her msn addy anyway she was fine about it however this morning when she cameback i tried to tak to her and we ended uparguing her dad is backing her up saying i over reacted she now hates me and says i amtrying to take over her life, but i told her what i wanted to do ie: deleting her ady and bebo and she said it was fine until today. i know people pretned to be something they are not etc and it worries me as some of the girls she was chattin to are having sex fair enough they are older but i think its inappropriate for her to be in contact with girls like at that age.


can anyone please give some advice if i have got it wrong please tell me

 

[hypnorm]

i think if you spoke to her on MSN last night whilst she was with friends then that probably really embarassed her.
i would have waited untill she got home and spoke to her, if she wants to speak to people she will do it whether on Bebo or not.
Its hard, maybe say that she can keep her account but to block the people who were being abusive, and monitor her useage?

 

[Jkelmum]

My son is 13 and only allowed to add contacts with my permision from people who he knows in the real world , There is no way I would allow him to join bebo or anything like that I am very strict when it comes to the net as you just never know

 

[ga_girl]

I know I'm a little late with this posting, but I think you were very reasonable. It is your job to monitor her communications at this age. She is a child (11 years old!) and what you say goes. I would probably have done something truly over the top...like throw out the computer, so her Dad should appreciate your level thinking

 

[Pyrrhic]

Personally I think 11 is too young to be using social networking websites and I would be supervising someone that young online.

My brother is 15 and had someone who he thought was a 14 year old girl on his MSN. Something didn't feel right to me so I looked into it.....he was a 21 year old gay man posing as a young girl.

Personally I think children should be monitored when using the internet until they've demonstrated suitable maturity to not warrant it.

 

[tasha41]

I wasn't allowed anything but MSN messenger and Neopets when I was 11, back then they had MSN chat but my parents blocked it out with parental controls.

Social networking sites didn't become popular until I was in high school (Myspace, Facebook), and I can't see why an 11 year old would need one anyway.. I wouldn't let mine be on them, knowing how many random guys add me/message me on Facebook that I ignore.

 

[dizzynic]

Hiya i know this is a bit late but i have a daughter 12 tomorrow and she is obsessed with bebo and msn i make sure all her convos from msn are saved so i can check whats been said and who she is talking to also i ask her to check her bebo randomly if she will not let me check it she loses computer privelages simple as that she shouts she screams she cries and throws a right wobbler i just say tough shit i am keeping you safe in the only way i know how you never know who the people really are that they have contact with on these sites and msn .

 

[1st_baby]

aww hun , I think that talking to her on MSN while shes at her friends probably got her embarassed but your her mom and want nothing bu the best for her .. give her time to cool off and explain why your worried ..

My parents alwasy explained things to me like i was grown up and it really dose help , they see you can be calm about things and they do what you want allot more

 

[Mervs Mum]

MSN.....horrific.....its banned in my house. I know too well the trouble and danger it causes. My hubby and I have both seen the very dark side (on line bullying, grooming, etc) thru work and those of you, like me with daughters, or sons for that matter, should be very cautious of the 'networking' site. I considered my daughter to be 'not the type' to be drawn in to the kinds of things that are associated with these sites and teens. I even thought I had the security and checking to ensure she was safe. Wrong. Dont touch it with a barge pole.

 

[Kirstin]

Could you use a net nanny to block sites like bebo? That way she cant try and make a new profile or view others?