I need coffee and a smack in the face.

[dakotadawn]

I feel like this wait will never end. I was waiting with my ex fiance, then we broke up and now I'm waiting again with my new fiance. Waiting... what does it even mean?

To him it means waiting for better financial stability. To mean, it means years and years of anxiety and pain and medical debt and heartache. I have PCOS and Endometriosis AND I'm waiting for the world around me to catch up to MY wants and needs.

Such is life. I made it through a baby shower without drinking an entire bottle of wine yesterday. Only half.

 

[ask86]

I'm sorry you are frustrated and feeling sad - it seems like we are pushing our date further and further back as well.... My best friend is having a baby shower for #2 in a few weeks and I am dreading it!!! But, I know that its my choice to wait - if I wanted to my DH would every night lol...
There are days when I feel like its just not fair that I have to wait, but really DH and I are choosing to wait and we may not be happy about that but it is our decision and we have our reasons
If you and your fiancé are choosing to wait you must have good reasons too and if they are not good reasons - or not good enough reasons - then decide to not wait - I know you are probably saying it's not that simple... no its not simple but it IS your decision

 

[dakotadawn]

Truly our reasons are this: We need more space and he needs a stable career.

More space can be obtained fairly easily and quickly. Our lease is up soon and I am looking in to a bigger place already.

He has a job but he's finishing his last year at school. He COULD build a career from this job or her could go back to school... this decision for him will ultimately decide our WTT fate.

 

[ask86]

I get the financial aspect... that's why we are choosing to wait - we have a 2 year old who is in daycare full time which costs $1200/month, plus her extracurriculars like gymnastics, swimming and dance. To me it is important that our daughter does not lose out on anything, if it was just DH and I, we would make the sacrifices, but we cant take anything away from our daughter... So I live with it I look at her and see how she loves to swim and jump on the trampoline and twirl in her tutu and I know that we made the right choice to wait...
It sounds like you have some reasons, but you can't quite decide if waiting is the right choice for you.

 

[dakotadawn]

I know that right now isn't a great time, but also knowing how difficult it will be once we finally do decide, and how long it might take after the fact... that's what weighs on me. I feel like even if we decided tomorrow is the day we do this, it might not actually happen for another 5+years with all of my issues. Waiting on top of waiting.

 

[Scottish mum]

It's hard but I think if you start on solid ground you'll be even more prepaired! Some would say there is never the right time but i also think being a mother is slightly easier when you have less going on in the back ground!

That said I don't know many people who have waited for the "right time" lol.

If you've time on your hands take it easy and don't Rush it will happen for you both xx

 

[dakotadawn]

I don't know that I have time, that's the problem in my mind. With having all of these medical conditions that I know will give us a hard time, it makes it even harder to wait for me.