I need some serious advice on toddler nap issues...

[A1983]

My DD is almost 2, and for about 4-5 months this has been the issue:

If she naps in day she'll struggle to sleep at night, so is currently awake (despite trying to sleep bless her) and will be til 10pm...if she doesn't nap in day she is exhausted by 4:30 and my life is hellish as filled with constant whining/crying/rubbing eyes/falling over and more crying until she collapses at 6 with a bottle of milk.

So normally her bedtime is about 7/7:30 - 7:30/8am. Sleeps through and always has done apart from during those 'phases' ie teething etc.

I feel bad as every other day is the exhausted day...ie she collapsed last night at 6 so today bright and happy - have tried to get her to nap earlier in day to no avail but she fell asleep in car from 4-4:30. Now she's awake so tomorrow will be a tired day.

Any advice? I do really try and get her to nap around midday/1/2pm even..sometimes I've woken her after 10 minutes (much to her disgust) and other times left her for an hour/as long as she needs but 99% of the time she will not nap at that time. But still the above problem is continuing.

Any advice?!

 

[Cattia]

What is her normal nap time? Have you tried letting her nap at the usual time but a shorter nap? Or what about letting her nap every second or third day to see if she settles into a routine that way? It's hard to know if she's ready to drop her nap or not. She sounds a bit young to drop it altogether but some do at that age, and the transition from nap no no nap is always a bit messy, on the other hand it might be that she still needs the nap but has just got out of sync somehow. What happens if you drop the nap and put her to bed early every evening?

 

[A1983]

Thanks for replying-sorry if not clear in my post but if she drops the nap she's such hard work from 4pm so would collapse about 6pm...which means anything we do from 4pm is a write off which isn't great as still so early in the day.

IF she does nap then whether it's 10 minutes or an hour she is WIDE awake until 10pm.

It works out she naps every other day but this means the every day is hard work as she's either up til 10pm = no break for me and very frustrating or she's really ratty from 4pm which is extremely stressful and frustrating. She literally cries from 4pm. Do you see my dilemma?

 

[Cattia]

Hmmmm, tricky! I know when mine were dropping their naps we went through this for a few weeks but the fact that it's been going on so long makes me think she isn't really ready to drop it yet. If you took her out for a drive earlier in the day, would she nap a bit then? An earlier nap might not impact on her bedtime sleep as much. The other thing you could try is moving her bedtime forward temporarily so you are putting her to bed at say 5 then move it back by ten minutes a night and see if she adjusts that way? Maybe try posting this in the toddler section as there might be more mums there who have been through similar and could advise.

 

[Beanonorder]

I'm going through exactly the same thing! It's driving me mad. She often refuses to nap and then falls asleep on the couch at 5pm. But if she naps I'm lucky if she goes to sleep before 10pm. Occasionally she has no nap and isn't whiny but those days are so few and far between.

Sorry I don't have advice but at least you know you aren't on your own!

 

[A1983]

Beanonorder that's exactly what's happening with me!! Including the far and few between non-whiney evenings!

Did not know there was a toddler section-ill post there! Thank you!

 

[stephj25]

Every child is different but I'll tell you our story.
My daughter turned 3 in May and she has had an afternoon nap for 2 years between 12-2pm. If she doesn't have a nap she is an absolute nightmare and has night terrors about an hour after falling asleep at night.
About a month ago, she's been on and off with her afternoon naps and only having an hour at the most. This leaves her feeling very tired all afternoon.

This last couple of weeks, I've started giving her food an hour early and putting her down an hour early and she has gone back to napping for around 2 hours and the night sleep is loads better.

Hope this helps x

 

[Beanonorder]

I wish that would work for us! It doesn't matter what time dd sleeps or for how long, she just won't go to bed at a regular time.
My mom told me she had to stop me having a nap during the day for this reason but I don't think I was whiny and unable to cope with it.

 

[MumToEva]

My son is fighting naps too - he screams blue-murder if I try to put him up to his bed, so I copy what the nursery we use does, and have rest-time in the living room instead. I pull the curtains, lay out a blanket and pillow on the floor and get him to lie down with his soft toys he normally takes to bed. I sit with a cuppa, reading a book or on the iPad, and shush him if he makes noise, telling him it's rest time. He usually falls asleep within 20minutes. I did the same with DD and it worked for her too - she's growing out of naps now, so she generally has quiet play in the playroom so as not to annoy him, although the odd time she says she wants to have a nap in the living room too if she is feeling tired. I wake them both after a set period of time (usually 2 hours, as my 2get up around 6.30) by opening the curtains, putting on the radio, etc, so they know it is time to get up. Works well for us.

 

[DCS]

When my Ds dropped his naps at 18 months we moved his bedtime to 5pm. Wasn't ideal because of it being so early but he slept well and didn't have a screaming grumpy kid every evening. I quite miss the days when he would be asleep by 5/5.30. I got some time to clean and rest each night. Like pop said you can always start to move be time by 10 minutes, when lo is in a better routine.

 

[MommyJogger]

Have you tried a couple hours of quiet time midday? You can help her do some recharging activities like reading/sticker books/playdoh/ anything quiet and calming enough to recharge without actually napping so she can get through the 4pm napless witching hours. It helped our older child make it through the day to a reasonable bedtime without feeling too crappy from it. Snacks during witching hour also helped ours get through.

 

[Literati_Love]

Can you wake her up in the morning half an hour earlier and see if that would make her nap earlier in the day? Sounds like she is getting 12.5 hours of sleep at night if she does go to bed properly. Perhaps if she got slightly less than this, she would power out for an earlier nap and then it wouldn't interfere with bedtime so much? I know nighttime sleep is very important... but just a thought.

 

[Perplexed]

dd is going through the same thing!! but I don't think she's ready to drop the nap. and I really don't want her to be up till 10pm every day.

I think I'll try both quiet time activity during the day, and waking her up earlier (on days i actually wake up) to see if we could settle on a routine.

 

[A1983]

Ill try the suggestions and let you know! Thank you