I need support... please :(

[S_Dowd]

Hello ladies,

My name is Sara and my husband and I have been ttc our first child for 19 months. This is my first time posting on this thread... I didn't know how long was considered long-term... and I hope I qualify. If not, I'm sorry. 19 months feels long, to me, though.

I have resisted going through fertility testing... the whole process frightens me. I have a huge fear of doctors, and I feel extremely uncomfortable with anything invasive.

I went to a midwife that does a full panel of hormone testing. They tested 14 different things in my blood, and everything came back normal. Originally she thought I had PCOS based on my symptoms, but I do not have it. All my hormones are normal, my thyroid is normal, my insulin levels are great, and my testosterone is not elevated at all.

I am frustrated, though, because I have very irregular ovulation. The earliest I have ever ovulated has been CD 19, and it's usually later than that (CD25 and up) I usually get several patches of EWCM throughout the month, so I have to go by my temps to tell me when I ovulate. Sometimes I get EWCM during ovulation, and sometimes I don't. Every month is different.

Anyways, I'm frustrated and my husband is going in for a SA, soon. Part of me just wants to give up. I just feel stuck in limbo. I feel like my life is hold waiting for me to conceive. And people are so mean and thoughtless... I wish I hadn't told anyone we were trying, but I didn't know we would have trouble. I'm only 24... (We started trying the month I turned 23)

And if one more person tells me "to relax".... I think I will become violent.

Thanks for reading... and sorry it was so long. I'm just having a really hard time.

 

[Pnutsprincess]

Hello ladies,

My name is Sara and my husband and I have been ttc our first child for 19 months. This is my first time posting on this thread... I didn't know how long was considered long-term... and I hope I qualify. If not, I'm sorry. 19 months feels long, to me, though.

I have resisted going through fertility testing... the whole process frightens me. I have a huge fear of doctors, and I feel extremely uncomfortable with anything invasive.

I went to a midwife that does a full panel of hormone testing. They tested 14 different things in my blood, and everything came back normal. Originally she thought I had PCOS based on my symptoms, but I do not have it. All my hormones are normal, my thyroid is normal, my insulin levels are great, and my testosterone is not elevated at all.

I am frustrated, though, because I have very irregular ovulation. The earliest I have ever ovulated has been CD 19, and it's usually later than that (CD25 and up) I usually get several patches of EWCM throughout the month, so I have to go by my temps to tell me when I ovulate. Sometimes I get EWCM during ovulation, and sometimes I don't. Every month is different.

Anyways, I'm frustrated and my husband is going in for a SA, soon. Part of me just wants to give up. I just feel stuck in limbo. I feel like my life is hold waiting for me to conceive. And people are so mean and thoughtless... I wish I hadn't told anyone we were trying, but I didn't know we would have trouble. I'm only 24... (We started trying the month I turned 23)

And if one more person tells me "to relax".... I think I will become violent.

Thanks for reading... and sorry it was so long. I'm just having a really hard time.

Hello Sara,
My name is Lacey I am 23 years old and have also been ttc for 19 months. You do qualify in my eyes for the LTTTC. I understand your frustrations. I don't ovulate on my own, there for I had to take Clomiphene to help me ovulate. This was my last cycle and I feel like I will never get pregnant. I see a doctor the 10th to discuss what is next. It is scary, but if you want a baby bad enough, you will do what it takes. Your husband does need to be tested to make sure he is not infertile as well. Never give up on something you really want

 

[lupinerainbow]

Hey, I'm 20 and as of the 2nd of next month we have been TTC #1 for 4 years, seems like its never going to happen. If you have been trying over a year then i think that qualifies as LTTTC? Not really sure. I have just been diagnosed with PCOS and put onto Metformin, its given me a little bit of hope back but at this stage its hard. Have only been taking it a few days so will see in the next few cycles if it does anything for me.

xxxxxxxx

 

[S_Dowd]

Thanks for your responses, ladies.

Today has just been a really hard day. I've been doing better, overall with it. I no longer take pregnancy tests or symptom spot. I just assume I'm not pregnant. I've gotten my hopes up too many times.

It's just nice to come on here and read the stories of women who understand how this feels. I've been plagued with pregnant friends all over facebook, lately (7 that are currently pregnant and at least that many that have had babies in the last few months). It's just getting to me...

 

[arizonagal]

You are in good company S!

 

[green turtle]

Hi Sara,

You are definitely LTTTC. Anything over 1 year qualifies you.

I would suggest that you go to an OB-GYN to get checked out. I was diagnosed with PCOS in May of this year after bloodwork and an ultrasound (which was really non-invasive). I had originally had my bloodwork done 6 months before that and everything came back normal.

You can read my blog for more information. If you go to the first few posts you can read about my experience with being diagnosed with PCOS.

https://asformeandmyhouseforever.blogspot.ca/

Anyhow, know that you are not alone.

 

[S_Dowd]

Thanks for the advice. The midwife I spoke with was certain I didnt have it, but I will consider a second opinion after DH gets tested. We are trying to go slow, and I am still praying that it will happen on its own. I will need to do more research. They actually did a PCOS panel and Ibe had an ultrasound in the past and I do not have polycystic ovaries... But I know that you can have pcos without pc ovaries.

Im just sick of all of this. Im exhausted from the emotional toll this is taķing. I hate that Im on cd 37 and Im not sure if I have ovulated because my temps look like the rocky mountains. Grrr sorry vent over. You ladies are amazing and I hope you get pregnant soon!!!!

 

[2have4kids]

Hi Sarah, I can't recommend anything that will change your life but I can offer big
I truly believe soft cups & my supplements turned things around for us. Vitex brought me in under a 30 day cycle. I'm 37 with less than 10% chance of conceiving. Hoping not to m/c. Wishing you lots of

 

[nevernormal]

Sarah, I ttc for about 2 years. I also had irregular ovulation. However, all my bloodwork looked great and I had two different doctors tell me that I didn't have PCOS. They have no explanation as to why my body struggles to ovulate on its own.

In those 2 years, I had 15 cycles, 13 of which were ovulatory, and only 8 of which had long enough luteal phases to sustain a pregnancy. Out of those, only 1 was natural and the other 7 were clomid cycles. I also had one annovulatory clomid cycle.

I know that it's SO hard to go through this journey unexplained. My DH's SA was good, so we knew the issue was with me, we just didn't know why. Oh and I'm 23 (we started TTC the month I turned 21). Looking back on my journey it seems like we simply didn't have enough good quality chances. We were trusting in the Lord's timing, so for all I know we could've had textbook cycles and still taken over two years, but I really hope more good chances is all you need

 

[Pnutsprincess]

Luckily for you BB is a great site and has a lot of caring people to help you out. I love this site. Like I said before, there are still more options for you, you are young and don't give up. When you want something bad enough, you never give up, you keep trying. See if there are anymore test you can take. I am actually entering month 20 soon, because I have been cramping. AF is due Oct 2. We can be Buddies and do this journey together. I think next I am going to a specialist, but know I will be here for you, even if I end up pregnant before you or after you or even together, I will be here when I can.