I need to vent..about ttc

[Dia0624]

Are you ladies always "in the mood" during firtile window? My hubby and I have been trying for over a year now. After two miscarriages, I don't know what's happened to us. We're in the mood during all times of the month except when it's the right time to try so we just have to force it to happen. And that makes it hard for Me as it sometimes hurts. I got a positive opk last night and we tried but I'm pretty sure I'm going to get one tonigt too based on ewcm and I'm just in no mood. I've taken breaks I don't know what else to do so we can have fun rather than make it a chore. We really want to have a baby. It's just so hard. I never thought it would be this hard. I don't even feel like talking about this with my friends anymore because they just don't get it. They tell me I'm putting too much pressure on myself and give all the wrong kinds of advice. Yeah im frustrated and I think I have every right to be when so many friends I know have had no issues and have healthy babies. I feel very alone in this journey.. Hubby understands but I don't want to drag him into my emotional letdowns.

Also if he's not fully in the mood, will that impact the quality of his sperm when we dtd?

 

[PediNurseMom]

I can certainly relate. DH and I have been trying very deliberately for about 6 months. While that's not very long, we've definitely reached a point where there's zero spontaneity. Sometimes I feel really guilty because I'm truly not in the mood and it does feel really forced.

This current cycle was the worst- I had absolutely no desire whatsoever and was exhausted. I felt awkward in the moment and really guilty afterward. That's not how I want a baby to be conceived, but I don't know how to avoid it at this point. The first few months were fun and exciting- light a candle, maybe some lingerie, a glass of wine, put on some music, etc. But it gets old and now it's so scheduled and unromantic. I feel like there's no passion left.

We have a two year-old, so we're both always tired and aren't able to get out to dinner as a couple. We don't want to take a break for a month for various reasons, so that's not an option. I really don't know if there's anything left to help get us out of this rut. TTC is very stressful and disappointing. I have yet to see a single BFP at this point and it's starting to wear me down.

Many people say, "just relax and stop trying" I can completely understand how that often works, because I think stress can definitely play a role, but for me, there's no such thing as stopping trying. It will always be on my mind no matter what approach we take. Even if I stopped using OPKs, I will always know roughly when I'm ovulating and will make a point to BD on those days. At this point, the only real way to , "stop trying" would be to use protection or completely avoid my fertile window. KWIM?

So sorry I don't have any advice or tips, I just wanted to let you know that you're not alone. This process is so hard and, personally, I'm finding that the cold and snowy winter in my area is making things far more depressing. I'm SO looking forward to spring!

Best of luck to you

 

[Dia0624]

Oh yea, after my horrible year last year, I have learned not to stress about it because I realize how little in control I am of the situation even if I do end up prego. I'm just frustrated, annoyed and tired of the whole process in general already. But venting helps me let out my steam, so thanks for reading and replying

It must be super hard to make time to try with a toddler around. Wow, wish you get your BFP very soon!!