I think I belong here now?

[Mrs. Vet]

We have been trying about one and a half years now, I went off the pill exactly 2 years ago and we first were going to wait a few months but stopped preventing soon after and started actively trying in june that year.

All my tests came back normal last year, but DH's SA came back pretty bad and it seems our chances are slim.
We took a break from TTC for a few months last fall because we were stressed, I dropped out of law school because I couldn't handle the stress and failed my final exam and then we moved into a house so it was all too stressful and we just did NTNP until we got all settled.

Now we want to start trying a bit more serious again, I got OPKs and started temping again. We will make an appointment at the fertility clinic now if our insurance covers it and see what our options are and where to go from here. We are pretty set on not wanting to go through IVF but are considering IUI, we want to get all information that there is and then decide what we are going to do.

I still have problems accepting that this is our reality. That it might never happen to us. Right now I can't really imagine to conceive any different way than naturally, it was just not what I had planned on and how I imagined it to happen. I feel very lost. I am finding myself thinking about how our life could be without kids and trying to see the good about it but then I see someone being pregnant and it's killing me... I feel very lost, anyone else feeling like this?

Well I will do some reading here and hopefully I can find some ladies here that can relate!

 

[Hope3]

Sorry you've ended up here. I can totally relate to the stress you're feeling. I got signed off from work with stress. Like you I found the overwhelming emotions of ttc & the stress of my job too much to cope with.

Do whatever you can to look after your emotional health to cope with the rough times, be it acupuncture, mindfulness, counselling etc.
I hope all goes well for you.

 

[Mrs. Vet]

I am considering acupuncture because it seems to work for some people and I think it's easier than meds and hormones and all that.. wondering if it could do sth for DH too!

I even gave up taking my vitamins for a while, just now started again, I just got so tired of all of it!

 

[Hope3]

The vitamin thing!! I went through that phase. One time I was in a large pharmacy staring at the conception vitamins and I couldn't bring myself to buy them. I left the shop in floods of tears. It felt like every time I took a pill it was a reminder of not being able to get pregnant.

Now I'm at the other extreme taking Zita West 3 a day or in my case 2 a day as I don't always have 3 meals a day to take the vitamins with, plus a high dose D3.

 

[KatO79]

Sorry that you're having such a tough time TTCing Mrs. Vet Boy do I know what that's like

I'm 35 (going on 36 in May) while DH is 37 and we've been TTCing since October 2013. All my results came back normal while DH's SA was normal but on the lower end of the scale. I really wanted to conceive naturally myself but the closest I got was a chemical back in April 2014 on our 7th cycle trying. I'm currently on my 18th cycle doing an IUI with injectable hormones (took Puregon and triggered with Ovitrelle). Actually had my IUI today We decided we'd do what it takes, IUI, IVF ect. because we really want a child. If nothing works, we'll take it from there but we're really hoping something sticks and our RE seems optimistic for our chances.

When you mean your DH's SA result came in pretty bad, how bad is it? Because for IUI it's a requirement that your DH's SA is at worst only slightly impaired. So anything below that would most likely require IVF or evt. IUI with donor sperm if you refuse to do IVF.

 

[Mrs. Vet]

The vitamin thing!! I went through that phase. One time I was in a large pharmacy staring at the conception vitamins and I couldn't bring myself to buy them. I left the shop in floods of tears. It felt like every time I took a pill it was a reminder of not being able to get pregnant.

Now I'm at the other extreme taking Zita West 3 a day or in my case 2 a day as I don't always have 3 meals a day to take the vitamins with, plus a high dose D3.

Yes that is exactly how I feel! Now that I want to take them again I keep forgetting them!

Sorry that you're having such a tough time TTCing Mrs. Vet Boy do I know what that's like

I'm 35 (going on 36 in May) while DH is 37 and we've been TTCing since October 2013. All my results came back normal while DH's SA was normal but on the lower end of the scale. I really wanted to conceive naturally myself but the closest I got was a chemical back in April 2014 on our 7th cycle trying. I'm currently on my 18th cycle doing an IUI with injectable hormones (took Puregon and triggered with Ovitrelle). Actually had my IUI today We decided we'd do what it takes, IUI, IVF ect. because we really want a child. If nothing works, we'll take it from there but we're really hoping something sticks and our RE seems optimistic for our chances.

When you mean your DH's SA result came in pretty bad, how bad is it? Because for IUI it's a requirement that your DH's SA is at worst only slightly impaired. So anything below that would most likely require IVF or evt. IUI with donor sperm if you refuse to do IVF.

I don't have the exact numbers here now, it got slightly better the second time and the doctor said it should work with IUI just fine. The questions is just if we want to go through it. I am so scared of having to take hormones..

 

[OnErth&InHvn]

Im so sorry youre here. We have been TTC 7+yrs (but we have other children). Its not easy. We have taken breaks and tried all the tricks. We have seen an RE to get answers but nothing.

 

[KatO79]

OK has your doctor discussed with you what type of hormones? I'm on injectables and it's only hard the first time and gets easier the more times you do it. The needles I use are very thin so you couldn't feel it going in. It's not that bad really. Otherwise maybe you can get your DH to do them? I think lots of ladies get their husbands to inject them. But I think if your put on Clomid, it'll be tablet form. If you're asked to trigger O though, that'll be an injectable. The hormones actually increase your chances of conceiving with an IUI which is why I went through it.

Your chances are increased with an IUI though. At this point, your chances are around 9% according to your age and how long you've been TTCing while with IUI it's around 15% chance. So that's worth considering as well.

 

[Mrs. Vet]

Im so sorry youre here. We have been TTC 7+yrs (but we have other children). Its not easy. We have taken breaks and tried all the tricks. We have seen an RE to get answers but nothing.

I'm so sorry! That must be so frustrating to not even have answers on why it doesn't work!
I really hope you will get your baby soon! I can only imagine how hard it must be!

OK has your doctor discussed with you what type of hormones? I'm on injectables and it's only hard the first time and gets easier the more times you do it. The needles I use are very thin so you couldn't feel it going in. It's not that bad really. Otherwise maybe you can get your DH to do them? I think lots of ladies get their husbands to inject them. But I think if your put on Clomid, it'll be tablet form. If you're asked to trigger O though, that'll be an injectable. The hormones actually increase your chances of conceiving with an IUI which is why I went through it.

Your chances are increased with an IUI though. At this point, your chances are around 9% according to your age and how long you've been TTCing while with IUI it's around 15% chance. So that's worth considering as well.

No we haven't seen a doctor about our options yet, just the one that did DH's SA but isn't an RE so he is referring us, we have the appointment next month now so we will see what they say.
It's not the needles but the meds itself that scare me. I am really sensitive to meds, last year I had to take penicillin and had a really bad reaction to it, same goes for most pain meds. I can only imagine what all those hormones and all the stuff I'd have to take might do.
Is it possible to do it without meds, just bringing his swimmers closer?
Not even sure how they do it over here...

 

[KatO79]

Im so sorry youre here. We have been TTC 7+yrs (but we have other children). Its not easy. We have taken breaks and tried all the tricks. We have seen an RE to get answers but nothing.

I'm so sorry! That must be so frustrating to not even have answers on why it doesn't work!
I really hope you will get your baby soon! I can only imagine how hard it must be!

OK has your doctor discussed with you what type of hormones? I'm on injectables and it's only hard the first time and gets easier the more times you do it. The needles I use are very thin so you couldn't feel it going in. It's not that bad really. Otherwise maybe you can get your DH to do them? I think lots of ladies get their husbands to inject them. But I think if your put on Clomid, it'll be tablet form. If you're asked to trigger O though, that'll be an injectable. The hormones actually increase your chances of conceiving with an IUI which is why I went through it.

Your chances are increased with an IUI though. At this point, your chances are around 9% according to your age and how long you've been TTCing while with IUI it's around 15% chance. So that's worth considering as well.

No we haven't seen a doctor about our options yet, just the one that did DH's SA but isn't an RE so he is referring us, we have the appointment next month now so we will see what they say.
It's not the needles but the meds itself that scare me. I am really sensitive to meds, last year I had to take penicillin and had a really bad reaction to it, same goes for most pain meds. I can only imagine what all those hormones and all the stuff I'd have to take might do.
Is it possible to do it without meds, just bringing his swimmers closer?
Not even sure how they do it over here...

I see. I'd mention that to your RE, maybe he/she will suggest what can be done? I think you can have a natural IUI but I don't know how much more successful they are compared to normal BDing although I would imagine the success rate must be slightly higher compared to normal BDing since it increases the amount of in the uterus by 50-100 X more. The meds of course increase your odds even more which is why REs push for that. My RE practically insisted Perhaps you can be started at a really low dose to see how you react? But maybe they can do a natural IUI since you're still relatively young. I'm an oldie at 35 so probably need the meds more

If Germany is anything like Denmark and your RE is like mine, they'll prefer you take meds. But I'd voice your concerns with your RE, tell her/him how you've reacted to different meds in the past and see what she/he says as they know more about how you might react to the meds.

 

[Mrs. Vet]

Sorry for not being around as much...
It's weird how it comes in waves, the last few months I was sort of ok even with not having a baby and with not stressing over TTC. Now baby fever is bad again and IUI doesn't seem like such a bad option anymore. DH is coming home this week and I can't wait to start trying again!
Now it is hard to be patient, I am pretty anxious to get going again!

Will try to find time to do some reading about IUI here, now I have to start cleaning, I want everything to be nice when DH comes home!

 

[KatO79]

Sorry for not being around as much...
It's weird how it comes in waves, the last few months I was sort of ok even with not having a baby and with not stressing over TTC. Now baby fever is bad again and IUI doesn't seem like such a bad option anymore. DH is coming home this week and I can't wait to start trying again!
Now it is hard to be patient, I am pretty anxious to get going again!

Will try to find time to do some reading about IUI here, now I have to start cleaning, I want everything to be nice when DH comes home!

That's OK Mrs. Vet IUI isn't that bad. The worse thing are the shots but you get pretty used to those after a while. I think IVF sounds much worse (mostly because of how they remove the eggs) but my DH and I are of course open to it if IUI doesn't work for us. I'd give you the pamphlet my clinic gave me but it's in Danish But there are a lot of good articles if you Google IUI.

But nothing can replace a good talk with the RE so any questions you have can be answered. I hope if you do IUI that you can take the hormones or your RE can help you with finding any options.

Good luck with the TTCing! I'll be going through IUI #2 as #1 was a bust dohh so any questions, just ask them on this thread and I'll be happy to help if I can

 

[Mommieh25]

Sorry you're going through this but you are not alone. I used clomid with my last daughter and ended up with pericarditis because of ohss I guess. My whole pregnancy was a mess from there. But my baby was so worth it. I'm on clomid, trigger, and timed inter purse this round. A larger dose too! So far so good. But we are doing a lot of praying. I also drink Gatorade and make sure to use my Tussin.

It is hard,but not impossible. I am proof of that. I am sensitive to medicine also. Hereditary thing. But I am determined to walk in faith. I hope you can also. I'm sending you hugs!!!!!!

Hopefully you will soon get your miracle BFP.

 

[Mrs. Vet]

Thanks Girls! I have done some reading on IUI on German websites and it seems that over here they usually do natural IUI (no meds) anyway if the issue is only on the male side. So unless there is issues on my side that have been undetected I think IUI would be with no meds.

Now I am only still struggling with letting go of the idea that I had about how we would make our baby...

Will just wait for the appointment on monday and then go from there, it's not like we are going to do an IUI next week anyway, we would most likely have to save up a while to do it and meanwhile we will keep trying.

Looks like I might be ovulating on Valentine's day! Really anxious to get going again!

 

[KatO79]

Wow really? Didn't know that. Strange that in Denmark they give you meds while Germany, our neighbours to the south, do natural IUI (mostly). Well here's hoping there's nothing "wrong" with you then

But what if the natural IUI doesn't work, would they try meds and IUI or go directly to IVF? That would be interesting to know, maybe a future question for your RE

It will be so worth it to have your baby. I know that even though ours won't be conceived how I'd hoped, I will still be so happy that he/she is finally here when it happens I hope you soon can let go and see that the most important is getting that baby and how it happened won't matter at all in the end

Good luck in the meantime and here's hoping you won't need that IUI anyway

 

[Mrs. Vet]

Wow really? Didn't know that. Strange that in Denmark they give you meds while Germany, our neighbours to the south, do natural IUI (mostly). Well here's hoping there's nothing "wrong" with you then

But what if the natural IUI doesn't work, would they try meds and IUI or go directly to IVF? That would be interesting to know, maybe a future question for your RE

It will be so worth it to have your baby. I know that even though ours won't be conceived how I'd hoped, I will still be so happy that he/she is finally here when it happens I hope you soon can let go and see that the most important is getting that baby and how it happened won't matter at all in the end

Good luck in the meantime and here's hoping you won't need that IUI anyway

It seems to depend on the cause of the infertility, if the problem is with the women it seems they use meds, if the problem is only the man they try natural first. Not sure what they do with unexplained infertility, might be that people just choose if they want to try with no meds first? It said the RE prefers to not risk the chance of multiples if they can help it which seems very different from the US and the UK from what I read on here.
At least that is all what the website said, I am curious if it is all correct or if the RE is telling me a whole different story!

I would be glad to go natural first and skip the meds!

I think I will know when I am ready to go that route. DH seems to be ok either way but he is good for a surprise sometimes, when it gets real he might suddenly say he wants to wait or he wants to try IUI asap..

I am so anxious for that appointment so we finally get some answers and get the whole TTC-ball rolling again!
And I'm even more anxious for DH to come home!!

 

[Mrs. Vet]

We had our first visit at the fertility clinic yesterday. Turns out DH's SA must be somehow wrong because the doctor said the numbers don't add up and the difference between the first and the second SA within that time frame is medically not possible.
So he is going in on thursday for a new one at the clinic and some bloodwork and I go in too for seeing if I have follicles developing as I'll be CD12 then. Then 10 days later I have to go back for bloodwork and then I have to go in again once AF starts for more bloodwork.

I am pretty overwhelmed with the whole thing but I hope we can get some answers and then we can still decide what to do from there.

 

[KatO79]

We had our first visit at the fertility clinic yesterday. Turns out DH's SA must be somehow wrong because the doctor said the numbers don't add up and the difference between the first and the second SA within that time frame is medically not possible.
So he is going in on thursday for a new one at the clinic and some bloodwork and I go in too for seeing if I have follicles developing as I'll be CD12 then. Then 10 days later I have to go back for bloodwork and then I have to go in again once AF starts for more bloodwork.

I am pretty overwhelmed with the whole thing but I hope we can get some answers and then we can still decide what to do from there.

So was the SA better than the first one then? Very strange So they check your progesterone? Wow, my clinic didn't do that, only my CD3 hormones.

I hope you soon find out what's going on

 

[Mrs. Vet]

We had our first visit at the fertility clinic yesterday. Turns out DH's SA must be somehow wrong because the doctor said the numbers don't add up and the difference between the first and the second SA within that time frame is medically not possible.
So he is going in on thursday for a new one at the clinic and some bloodwork and I go in too for seeing if I have follicles developing as I'll be CD12 then. Then 10 days later I have to go back for bloodwork and then I have to go in again once AF starts for more bloodwork.

I am pretty overwhelmed with the whole thing but I hope we can get some answers and then we can still decide what to do from there.

So was the SA better than the first one then? Very strange So they check your progesterone? Wow, my clinic didn't do that, only my CD3 hormones.

I hope you soon find out what's going on

Yes the second one was a lot better about sperm count but a lot of other things haven't improved. He said the sperm count going up the way it did within the short time is not possible. Then there were some other things that didn't add up, some of them i had noticed but thought I just didn't understand the whole results properly!

No idea what exactly they are testing to be honest but it seems they are testing everything they can during this cycle. I hope we can get some results before the weekend and won't have to wait until all tests are done!

 

[KatO79]

If they do the same as in Denmark, for your CD3 hormone test, they test e.g. LH, FSH, estrogen and prolactin. I don't know about the progesterone test as they don't do that here or maybe it's just my clinic that doesn't Then they'll need to do an HSG to see if both or one or none of your tubes are open to see if you can try IUI or need to directly go with IVF. That way they can determine what's the best course of treatment based on these results.

You should be able to discuss with your RE any of the results that come in. My HSG was done after our 1st appointment but we got to discuss DH's SA and the results of my hormone test. In my case there wasn't much to discuss with the HSG since both tubes were open. But your RE may want to make an appointment before discussing the results so he/she can explain things. We didn't get the results before that 1st appointment.