I think I have to give up :(

[ladysarcasma]

I'm really sad about this, and I feel horribly guilty. I EBF him for the first 2 months, and I had an oversupply after being put on a regime to increase my supply in the hospital when he got a FTT diagnosis.

He gained but not very quickly. Then after my wedding, my supply TANKED, I mean it was gone! I was still trying. I went back on the regime they put me on in the hospital. I made such a huge effort. But the pediatrician told me I needed to put him on formula because he'd lost weight again. I did, and I got lazy. I nursed sometimes, I pumped sometimes, but my confidence was shot and I just gave up a little.

Then, I spoke to LC's, I bought books, I pumped around the clock, and tried to nurse as often as he would (DS gets very angry when nothing comes out!). My supply increased to one ounce per pumping/feeding session. One ounce. That doesn't help.

I went on vacation. I pumped a little more like every 4 hours instead of every 2-3. The supply completely tanked again. I realized that anytime I'm not on top of every 2 hours, it would quit on me again.

I just don't know how to stay hooked to a pump for an entire year. I've gotten so irritable and frustrated! I'm taking it out on everyone. I went round the clock again and it's only gotten back up to a stinking ounce!

I just can't stand it anymore! I feel really horribly guilty because I've been trying to make myself feel better by thinking about potentially losing the weight I've been holding onto while nursing and things like that. Then I feel like a bad person for thinking quitting is a good idea.

Working this hard to get 8-10 ounces a day is killing me and it's making me miserable!! I don't want to feed him formula, but I've been doing it for 3 months now anyway.

I feel very very bad about even giving up on pumping the only one ounce at a time I get because I feel like every drop matters. But I just don't know if it's worth the crazy irritating, the constant CONSTANT pumping, and the frustration and disappointment, to keep getting 8-10 ounces a day

I don't know what I want out of this post. I guess I'm just ranting. Has anyone else had these problems? I just don't know what else to do.

 

[dozydormouse]

Can't help really, but wanted to give you some and say don't beat yourself up about it, you've done wonderfully against the odds and your LO has had a few months of breastmilk, which can be viewed as better than none at all!

 

[Nervous_1]

I agree with the above, you've done amazingly well to get this far!

That said, and I don't know if you've tried anything other than the pumping, there are other things you can do as well to help increase your supply. My tops ones were eating oat based foods, taking fenugreek (you can get this from health food shops), drinking plenty of water, and also drinking a small beer each evening (the malt in it helps, and if you do this just after the feed when your little one then tends to sleep there's no need to pump and dump or anything). Of course, you'll still need to pump as well as the above til you get a really good supply going, but this might help a bit

 

[ladysarcasma]

Oh I've filled myself full of every herb that came recommended. I smelled like fenugreek constantly and I even went to the ER for hives after a tincture gone wrong.

 

[AC1987]

My supply dropped at 2 months, 4 months, and every 2 months continued to drop. I supplemented with formula I don't see anything wrong with it I think if I had pumped a ton more in the beginning then froze it I woulda been able to bf exclusively. Early morning is when you have the most milk. I know pumping gets old I hated it too especially when I got to 2 ounces or less at each sesson.

 

[cat lover]

hats off, you have done amazing. i sure wouldnt pump to that extent. i combifeed, it works for us... i thibk you need to be kind to yourself, i cant offer advice as tbh i cant think of anything else you can do realy... truth be told, and it may not be a popular comment on this section, if i were you i would seriously consider calling it a day. you need to be happy, and i dont think you are right now xx

 

[Elmo5]

This may not be relevant to your particular case, however in general:

Supply is supposed to drop as it regulates to the baby needs, particularly around 8 weeks. In the early days your breast would feel hard as if they were full of milk, as supply regulates they will feel soft all the time. It is not an indication of supply issues.

 

[pink80]

I think you've done amazingly well, don't beat yourself up and do what is right for you x

 

[laodicean]

First off, you've done brilliantly, and you shouldn't feel guilty about thinking about the benefits of stopping. In fact, I'd be worried if you weren't able to think of any benefits, and the fact that you can is healthy!

I haven't personally been through what you're going through, but a friend of mine had a very similar story. Her LO had FTT, and she was combi feeding from around week 6 onward, and keeping to a punishing pumping regimen.

She has since stopped and moved over the formula completely, and whilst she mourns not being able to breast feed, she doesn't regret her decision for a second as he's now gaining weight at an amazing rate and thriving. She says that breast may be best for most, but for her LO it clearly wasn't (and she wasn't having your supply issues, it's presumed that he was allergic to something in her milk).

One thing she tried before she gave up was a supplemental nursing system (SNS), which sounds like it might work for you if you're willing to go through the faff of having one. You're best off googling it or talking to a lactation consultant to explain the mechanics of it. But it means that your baby is suckling at your breast and stimulating your milk production whilst at the same time getting the formula he needs in the meantime to support him.

Good luck with whatever you decide, and whatever you decide you're a good mum because your baby is loved and cared for, and that's the most important thing at the end of the day!

 

[Lilyandbump]

Try not to feel guilty. I know a lot of woman will verbally stone me on this section but my BF story is also a tough one. To be brief:

LO started BFing beautifully on day two.

Day four my episiotomy wound got severely infected and I couldn't sit down properly.

As a result, LO latched on wrong to right breast and ate, yes ATE, part of the nipple tissue off it making it totally out of action.

I managed to BF exclusively on one breast for six weeks. In that time, my injured breast contracted mastitis twice, the nipple became severely infected and then the two courses of anti-bios I was prescribed meant I contracted thrush in my breast too (AGONISING by the way!).

Then, my husband left me for another woman when bubba was three weeks old and the stress made me lose my appetite and consequently produce CRAP milk.

LO fed repeatedly every 20 mins for 12 hours for about three days until I finally acknowledged that he was hungry and made the switch the formula.

He is now a different child. Content, happy and FULL! No regrets from me. We both gave it a good innings hun. Don't beat yourself up. A satisfied baby is better than a ravenous one trying to live on white water from your boob.

Chin up! xx

 

[Iamblessed]

Don't give up you can do this and the 8-10 oz baby gets a day is so worth it!

 

[Jadie]

Don't see it as giving up when you've done so well! You've tried your best! Now it's time to make you happy again! LO has had the best milk, the early days are the most important and you've got thru it! Good on ya!

 

[amjon]

I've had very little supply and two babies to feed. I pump what I can and fill in with formula. I would love them to get BM only but that's not an option for us. Every little bit I can get I give them for sure.

 

[Babushka]

Don't be too hard on yourself. While I breastfeed, I do wonder if it's over-rated to be honest. Myself and my sister were both formula fed as babies, my sister also formula fed her 2 daughters who are now happy and healthy at 9 and 7. In fact many babies thrive on formula

I understand where you are coming from though, it's drummed into us that breast is best that we feel guilty for giving them formula & are led to believe it's poison.

Hopefully not worrying constantly about your supply will give you more time to enjoy LO and being a mum x

 

[BabyB2]

I really do sympathize with you hun! I have had no end of trouble..difficulty latching due to tongue-tie (which has been snipped), high palate and receded bottom jaw. Had to breast feed with nipple shields, which has meant less stimulation and epic long feeding sessions every 2 hours. M y supply tanked and so was prescribed domperidone to boost it, but it was too late for my right boob, which seems to have dried up. I was told to pump after every feed to boost. I tried my best, but it just wasn't feasible with a 3 year old at home too! I felt so guilty that she wasn't getting the attention she deserves...a balance I still haven't got right. After having a complete breakdown at the local hospital breast feeding clinic where I felt like I was being bullied I decided to combi feed. Things have been better since, he's gaining weight nicely and is a happier baby. He still probably gets 2/3 of his milk at the breast, but it's tough!

If you're not quite ready for quitting why not speak to your GP about domperidone (motilium). It is actually an anti sickness med, but has the side effect of increasing prolactin levels and consider supplementary nursing system. You can actually buy domperidone over the counter, but only get 10 tablets for aboout £4, which is pricey, so prescription is best.

If on the other hand if you're truly honest with yourself and if it weren't for the guilt then you'd switch to just FF please please please don't beat yourself up about it! You have tried amazingly hard and given you baby the best start you possible can. Feel proud, not guilty! I exclusively pumped with my first child for 5 months and it's so tough! I hated being a slave to the pump. You end up feeling house bound. It got me down a bit. Don't let anyone bully you into continuing if that's not what you want.

The most important thing is that you enjoy your baby. This is precious time that you'll never get back. You don't want to spend the whole time upset and stressed. Afterall, a happy mum = happy baby!

Big hugs!

 

[ladysarcasma]

I really do sympathize with you hun! I have had no end of trouble..difficulty latching due to tongue-tie (which has been snipped), high palate and receded bottom jaw. Had to breast feed with nipple shields, which has meant less stimulation and epic long feeding sessions every 2 hours. M y supply tanked and so was prescribed domperidone to boost it, but it was too late for my right boob, which seems to have dried up. I was told to pump after every feed to boost. I tried my best, but it just wasn't feasible with a 3 year old at home too! I felt so guilty that she wasn't getting the attention she deserves...a balance I still haven't got right. After having a complete breakdown at the local hospital breast feeding clinic where I felt like I was being bullied I decided to combi feed. Things have been better since, he's gaining weight nicely and is a happier baby. He still probably gets 2/3 of his milk at the breast, but it's tough!

If you're not quite ready for quitting why not speak to your GP about domperidone (motilium). It is actually an anti sickness med, but has the side effect of increasing prolactin levels and consider supplementary nursing system. You can actually buy domperidone over the counter, but only get 10 tablets for aboout £4, which is pricey, so prescription is best.

If on the other hand if you're truly honest with yourself and if it weren't for the guilt then you'd switch to just FF please please please don't beat yourself up about it! You have tried amazingly hard and given you baby the best start you possible can. Feel proud, not guilty! I exclusively pumped with my first child for 5 months and it's so tough! I hated being a slave to the pump. You end up feeling house bound. It got me down a bit. Don't let anyone bully you into continuing if that's not what you want.

The most important thing is that you enjoy your baby. This is precious time that you'll never get back. You don't want to spend the whole time upset and stressed. Afterall, a happy mum = happy baby!

Big hugs!

Thank you for this! I have heard a lot about Domperidone, but unfortunately, I was told that it is not prescribed in the US I suppose I could have gone to get it somewhere else.

You're right about being honest with myself. After all I've gone through with this, if not for the guilt, I probably would have just decided to FF. I have fully switched over at this time. I stopped as of the day I wrote this post, really. It has been 4 days and I have not even become engorged or anything at all, making me truly believe that it wasn't getting any better.

Because he is on formula, I have since decided to start cereal as per the doctor's recommendations and will start solids in a few weeks. If I'm going to feed formula, I guess the least I can do at this point is supplement with real food and keep the formula consumption down.

Thanks again for everyone's help and advice. I really have felt much better not being tied to the pump every other hour of the day. DS is so much happier with the better mood and with all the playing we're able to do since I'm away from the pump.

I still feel horribly guilty about it, but ultimately, I believe that it will end up having been the better decision for us. Thanks again!

 

[beautifulpack]

My LO is 10 months old and I've been pumping since she was two weeks old....it is soooo draining to constantly pump! And in your case, to have such a minimal result is devastating...the only thing that keeps me pumping is I'm able to provide her with breastmilk 95% of the time with some top ups from formula..but if that percentage would have dropped to lets say 50% or even 65%, I'm being honest, I would have stopped....Its so time consuming and literally takes over your life. You would think with 10 months in, thats its gotten easier, and it has in the sense that I only pump 3 times a day now, but it is still a HUGE pain in the ass....You've done an outstanding job and now its time to sit back and relax with your baby...no regrets..now that my LO is approaching 1 years old, I am so happy....Pumping is a serious serious commitment and I am proud of how long I kept at it, but when she turns 1, I will be finished :0)