I think I'm done :(

[spunky84]

When I was in the hospital after having LO, LO was unable to latch. After trying for 2 days, she was becoming jaundiced so we decided to pump & supplement. (Since it was the holiday weekend, the LC wasn't in. There's only a couple in my area which I've contacted. The one hasn't returned my calls and the other just gave me info over the phone - things I already knew & wouldn't schedule a meeting for me to come in).

We've been doing this ever since. I've been pumping every 3 hrs and usually get 2-3 ounces (averaging 2.5) and on occasion get 4 ounces (between both sides - sometimes I have to be attached to the pump for an hour to get that). I tried taking LO off formula to see if I could give her breast milk only as it seemed like the formula was giving her tummy issues and she's been doing so much better, but I can't keep up.

Since Saturday, my supply is rapidly dwindling. I tried to go from every 3 hrs to every 2 hours, and it's just dropping so quickly. If I do every 2 hours, I can barely get 2 oz. My last pumping session I only got 1.25 oz

I've done everything I can to help boost my supply. Oatmeal, flax/brewers yeast, mothers milk tea, fenugreek, drinking fluids, eating enough calories, relaxing, compressions, massages, warm/hot compress. Yet it seems like the more I try, the quicker it's dropping.

I was really hoping I could make it until Oct 10 when I see my midwife for my 6 week pp visit, but I can't imagine I'll have any milk by then. She's very pro-bf & was feeling that if I could make it to my appt, she could help.

I feel like a failure. I already felt like a failure because I couldn't breastfeed and have been having to pump (which has been sucking the life out of me). It was really bothering me the other day when I had to take LO to the dr's for some congestion & seeing a new mom able to bf so easily as I sat there fumbling with a bottle & everything else I was carrying. Now I feel like a failure because I can't even pump. I feel betrayed by my body.

I feel tempted to just stop right now (but I feel like that'll make me feel more like a failure), but I feel like I need to go until my body just won't make any more (which I'm afraid is just going to make me sob like a 3 year old after every pump as I am doing now).

 

[JASMAK]

Call her. Stop pumping and put directly on the breast. Dont leave it!

 

[Honeybear1976]

Could your midwife not do a home visit now? Put baby to the breast as often as possible, when awake but not screaming hungry, they will even try to latch on when asleep. See how that goes and I would personally try to express in between trying to nurse. It will be tiring but soon the nursing will click im sure and then the expressing can stop altogether. Stress causes you to produce less milk. When my youngest almost died at 9wks the hospital wanted x amount of ounces and through the stress I could barely express a ml but it worked itself out and he's still breastfeeding and is 25months old now x

 

[Calif]

Have you tried to see if your baby will latch with a nipple shield? Nipple shield saved my breastfeeding and allowed me to continue.

 

[seaweed eater]

I agree to get in touch with your MW and see if you can meet with her earlier.

I just want to clarify one thing about your pumping. Is your overall daily supply dropping or just your yield per session? Of course your yield per session would drop if you are pumping more frequently. Nearly 2 oz every 2 hours is still more per day than 2-3 oz every 3 hours.

The amount you are pumping actually sounds quite normal. The average BF baby takes 25 oz per day so you are somewhere close to that. What would be a sign that things are not optimal is if your total daily output were actually dropping. Even the fact that it is not going up despite how long you've been pumping may be a cause for concern.

Not a cause for alarm though. I would guess that there are things you could do to improve your pumping. Forget about the galactogogues if they haven't worked for you. What kind of pump are you using? Are you sure that your flanges fit right? Are you lubricating the flanges with olive or coconut oil? Do the compressions and massage help (i.e. can you see more milk coming out while you do them)?

Most importantly, when you are done pumping, do you feel fairly empty? Or still full?

There's no reason your supply should drop now if you are emptying the breast at each pumping session (aside from the stress you are going through, but lots of mothers go through that!). Your body is still receptive to signals that you need to make more milk. I would guess that for one reason or another it's not getting that signal at the moment. It's harder to accomplish that with a pump, but it's possible.

Oh, and you didn't mention skin to skin with your daughter. Do that when you have time, too. Taking a nap together topless is a good idea. Good for your supply AND for getting her back to the breast.

...All of this said, only you know your limits. Don't push yourself too far. If this is important to you, do everything you reasonably can to make it work, so that you don't look back with regret...but if that's not enough, STOP and don't let this destroy you! Not everything is within your control. You are the perfect mother for your little girl whether you are BF, EP, or whatever, and you are doing a great job.

 

[rachy01]

Id suggest skin to skin contact as much as possible to help promote hormones for making milk. Id say no more pumping or supplementing - just breast. It may feel like you are starving LO but you wont - your body will produce enough milk once your baby is suckling every 3 hours.

They shouldn't tell breastfeeding mothers to supplement or to pump - it messes up your supply. Your supply needs to regulate itself which it does through baby sucking.

 

[Super G]

First, stop giving yourself a hard time!

Second, work on baby's latch. If baby will latch then leave her on as much as possible.

Get some hands on help. This lactation consultant or someone else.

Remember it's not too late for you. It doesn't have to be all or nothing. You are giving her some breast milk and that's great. You just need help & support but YOU are going to have to seek it.

There are some useful latching videos online, eg, https://www.breastfeedinginc.ca/content.php?pagename=videos

Good luck, sorry it's so tough now.

 

[readytotry]

You are doing so well - exclusive pumping is TOUGH so don't ever feel like a failure. Of you want to give it another go at getting her back to the breast then you might find it's easier now she is older. Nipple shields are another possibility to try. Whatever you choose don't feel guilty.
Do you know why she is struggling to latch, could she be tongue tied? It's quite common and can make it more difficult for babies to latch properly. It is commonly missed by midwives but might explain the problems you have been having.

 

[readytotry]

Is there a local breastfeeding group you could get to? I volunteer at one in the UK and we see lots of mum's come in with similar problems to yours and offer support for getting baby back from formula/expressed milk in bottles to mixed feeding to exclusively feeding from the breast if that is what they want.

 

[Elmo5]

Have you tried to see if your baby will latch with a nipple shield? Nipple shield saved my breastfeeding and allowed me to continue.

As above and keep trying to latch. My LO took five days to latch, and it was only with a nipple shield. It was another month on from then when I managed to wean her off the shields.

 

[spunky84]

I did forget to mention in my pp that I have tried the nipple shield (have been trying to work with it since I was in the hospital). LO mostly just screams and spits it out (I've tried expressing some milk into it to give her a taste and hope she keeps going - also have tried to bottle feed an ounce to curb the hunger so she has more patience with the boob, but still ends with her screaming).

I've continued with the pumping, though I changed things.

First, I stopped going longer than 45 minutes. I seem to get nothing beyond that time & I think it's just damaging my nipples. I honestly don't think my pump is emptying them the best it can.

I also stopped cranking it up. Sticking to the more comfortable range. I did notice better results with this.

Also noticed that using the let down function (medela) has also been giving me better out put.

I started keeping a spreadsheet for pumping. Tracking the time I pumped, how long I pumped and if I've eaten/taken anything special for lactation.

I'm now averaging 3 oz per session. I get the occasional session where I get less, but for the most part, I'm getting at least 3 oz every session. I've gotten a little more on a couple of occasions (actually got 4.75oz between the 2 during one session). Since I starting getting this, I've not had to supplement! Which is a first.

I also am renting a hospital grade pump to see if it's better at emptying. The woman I spoke with at the rental place said that 99% of the people who use the same pump as me have gotten more in less time with the hospital grade. It's due to arrive on the 2nd (another reason I''m keeping track of out put - to see if the hospital grade is worth it).

I'm calling my midwife tomorrow. Mostly to see about postpartum depression. But if I can get in sooner than the 10th, I definitely am going to bring this up.

So, I'm starting to feel more positive about it and am trying to keep going. I'm hoping by keeping track that it'll help me see if certain times are good or even just to give me reassurance about my output.

The day that I started this post I had expressed 17.75 oz. Yesterday I expressed 26 oz! Though I think yesterday was the exception, not the "rule". But I've been seeing an increase though. So definitely a confidence booster!

 

[seaweed eater]

Sounds like you are doing great!! 26 oz is a full supply and it probably will only keep increasing with the adjustments you've made. Well done! Your girl is lucky to be getting your milk.

 

[Honeybear1976]

You should be very proud of yourself as you're doing incredibly well.

 

[spunky84]

I've so far only had 1 day at 26 and 1 day at 25. Though I've been getting 18-22 on average.

The hospital grade pump arrived a day early so I've been using it for a little over a day and am getting a little more. Not a ton more, but more which is probably still good as it's probably emptying more than the freestyle. I'm getting at least 3 oz every session, averaging 3.75 oz (both sides) with a few 4 ouncers. So far I feel it's been worth it.

But LO has been off formula supplementing for a few days now. I actually have quite a bit of milk in the fridge. So I'm hoping that this means I'll be able to keep up.

Now the next thing seems to be keeping motivated to stick with it! Since it's draining and can get quite challenging while trying to care for LO for 12 hours by myself before DH gets home. Sometimes it's really hard to pump on time when it's just the 2 of us which worries me that it'll hurt my supply as sometimes she will continually demand my attention for 2-3 hours which could mean missing a whole session (which obviously her care comes first).

I just know that when the day comes for me to stop, taking care of LO will probably seem so much easier as it's so difficult now.

 

[Honeybear1976]

You're doing great. It is draining doing that and taking care of a lo. Are you still trying lo at the breast?

 

[spunky84]

Still trying, but still a lot of screaming

Though I decided that I'm going to try feeding her with the calma nipple instead of the regular nipples. I guess the calma nipples are supposed to be better for breast to bottle transition, so I'm wondering if I could possibly do bottle to breast transition with it? Since it'll have a much slower flow and make her work for the milk.

I think it'll be much easier to make her work for the milk via bottle & hopefully if she can get used to it, I'm hoping it'll make it easier for her to go to the breast, even if just with a breast shield. I think the issue with the breast shield is that she has to work for it and she's not used to it.

So I'm hoping to go from bottle feeding with calma to breast with shield to hopefully breast without shield. I've been too busy with LO and pumping to have a chance to call my midwife, which I'll be there in less than a week, so might as well wait it out. I'm hoping she can give some good, reliable resources (as my resources haven't been that good or reliable) with trying to get LO to latch so hopefully it'll all work out. I worry that even if she latches, she's going to be unhappy because of having to work for her milk.

ETA: I guess the calma nipple wasn't really sound logic. I guess if she could do that then she could go to the breast! Tried the calma nipple & she just screamed and screamed (even tried putting some milk in the nipple to encourage her to suck).

 

[Honeybear1976]

I would say just keep putting her to the breast minus any shield. I honestly think she will get it eventually, you are so determined and are working hard at the expressing in order to give her the best so I'm sure she will have a bit of her mums determination and spirit and latch when she's ready