kfarb
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he realization came to me pretty gradually, but I think in the back of my mind I've wondered for quite some time. Recently, my best friend said to me (and she has three boys) that she's never seen a kid play with a toy tractor (or car, or truck) like my son does. He could push around his toy tractor for hours. Today, my parents said they've never seen a kid so absorbed in his playing.
After they left, DH wanting to prove them wrong went online and found warning signs for autism in toddlers. That's when he realized Dylan does a lot of the things. The biggest things that worry me are that he's very independent for his age. He rarely needs me for anything these days. He also has never really been snuggly. When he's crying, he does want me, but he doesn't want to be hugged, or held against me. I usually wind up siting him in my lap facing away from me and rubbing his back until he feels better. Recently, I've noticed that he completely ignores me a lot of the time. At first I wondered if he could hear ok, and it's definitely not that. He loves music and has to have one of his toys playing music at all times. He just ignores me. When he wants something, he just gets mad. I've been trying to get him to say "read" (He loves us reading to him and he wants us to read the same book over and over) for ages now and he just won't. He takes my hand and puts the book in it. He never calls me mama. He says it, but never to me. He says "Beep, beep." Which is from his favorite book.
Some smaller things are that he doesn't smile at us when we smile at him. He doesn't smile when he's absorbed in his playing. At his first birthday, all he wanted to do was run back and forth on the sidewalk in front of our house. So that's what he did the entire time.
Okay, autism, or not, I love him more then anything. I just want him to be happy, which he is. I just feel guilty, and lost and confused. I don't know why I feel the guilt though.
After they left, DH wanting to prove them wrong went online and found warning signs for autism in toddlers. That's when he realized Dylan does a lot of the things. The biggest things that worry me are that he's very independent for his age. He rarely needs me for anything these days. He also has never really been snuggly. When he's crying, he does want me, but he doesn't want to be hugged, or held against me. I usually wind up siting him in my lap facing away from me and rubbing his back until he feels better. Recently, I've noticed that he completely ignores me a lot of the time. At first I wondered if he could hear ok, and it's definitely not that. He loves music and has to have one of his toys playing music at all times. He just ignores me. When he wants something, he just gets mad. I've been trying to get him to say "read" (He loves us reading to him and he wants us to read the same book over and over) for ages now and he just won't. He takes my hand and puts the book in it. He never calls me mama. He says it, but never to me. He says "Beep, beep." Which is from his favorite book.
Some smaller things are that he doesn't smile at us when we smile at him. He doesn't smile when he's absorbed in his playing. At his first birthday, all he wanted to do was run back and forth on the sidewalk in front of our house. So that's what he did the entire time.
Okay, autism, or not, I love him more then anything. I just want him to be happy, which he is. I just feel guilty, and lost and confused. I don't know why I feel the guilt though.
... i had the same feelings you do when i thought my DS was autistic (which he is). First off let me just say DO NOT FEEL GUILTY! That's easier said than done, i know, but you have nothing to feel guilty for.
; )
I had no idea!! Message me if you ever want to talk.
