I told a lie today!

[HPMINI]

I have a colleague at work who last year decided she wanted a baby. She bought a digital testing kit and low and behold a couple of months passed and she was pregnant.
She went on maternity leave and had the baby in November 2010. She returned to work and is pregnant again and it won't be long until she's back on maternity leave.
Unfortunately she's one of these ladies who is insensitive about most things - I'm sure she doesn't mean to be and it just comes out wrong!

Anyway, before she got pregnant with the first baby and also during pregnancy she was interested in whether I was going to have one and I think we discussed the issue a couple of times.

Now she's back at work and as a proud mummy (which I don't blame her for) most conversation revolve back to either her son or the new baby.

So today she asked me whether as my sister is expecting a baby whether I'm thinking of having a family now. I said no - I'm not sure she gets how difficult it is for other people to have babies and I didn't want to have daily conversations about my lack of pregnancy. So I lied - it's not big and it's not clever but hopefully she won't rub a sore nerve!

I'm totally out for this month - DH is poorly! Will start again in ernest at the end of the month!!

 

[readyformore]

You're not the only one.

Sometimes it's all you can do.

Sorry you're out for the month.

 

[Sus09]

You are not on your own, I do it as well, I just don´t want to give explanations to people all the time so I tell people when they ask that we are not thinking for a baby.
I think it is natural, this TTC is tough enough with people reminding us all the time.

 

[AnnaLaura]

I don't think that's telling a lie! It's more like you are protecting yourself.

I do it too. It's hard here because Greeks will ask you anything even if they just met you.

 

[dakron67]

i agree with the girls above, sometime you just say things, u didn't hyrt anyone in wat u said so don't worry, im sure you'll get your little bean soon, good luck to all you girls, im a silly bugger, i thought i was due to test round this wkend, but got dates wrong, got another wk to wait, good luck again love donna xx

 

[CHILLbilly]

I would do the same...
or tell the truth..... been trying for 3 yrs and may have to save up thousands of dollars to get invitro........ nice little dose of reality...

 

[Milty]

I know just what you mean....

A girl at my office is trying to decide how far apart in age she wants her kids as he baby is almost a year old...ect.

Some of the other ladies and myself were giving our opinons on the subject when one of them sighed and said..."oh hun we are just living through you now since we are all out of this phase of our life"...

She is almost sixty and the other lady with us is 51 one...but somehow I'm grouped with them and I'm passed the phase of having babies... wow

I said nothing in response but nodded my head in agreement

 

[CHILLbilly]

good thing we are so strong , with all this waiting we are doing.....
Some people couldnt take it for sure......
I've been surounded by " surprise" pregnancies ast few months.....BUT also now a few women who have had to wait years ( 15 yrs for one...she was 5 months pregnant when she got married ...sigh.so nice) Its those stories that help me get thro it! Not the easy breezey ones...
good luck to all you girls...

 

[AnnaLaura]

I know just what you mean....

A girl at my office is trying to decide how far apart in age she wants her kids as he baby is almost a year old...ect.

Some of the other ladies and myself were giving our opinons on the subject when one of them sighed and said..."oh hun we are just living through you now since we are all out of this phase of our life"...

She is almost sixty and the other lady with us is 51 one...but somehow I'm grouped with them and I'm passed the phase of having babies... wow

I said nothing in response but nodded my head in agreement

Oh no I would have gone berserk inside.

 

[Natsby]

I don't think that's telling a lie! It's more like you are protecting yourself.

I do it too. It's hard here because Greeks will ask you anything even if they just met you.

I know what you mean the Spanish are the same, well the older people anyway. Yesterday a man asked me and I said my standard response, which is to shrug and say some things are beyond my control. He started telling me about his son who is starting to try now and how he keeps telling them to get on with it as she was getting old. Turns out she is 31!!! I said well I´m 38 and he looked shocked, he thought I was younger than her! Didn´t know whether to laugh or cry.
I am evasive rather than lying but I think it ok to lie too, after all it doesn´t concern anyone other than you and your OH. Good luck and hopefully you can tell them the truth after your BFP.

 

[Sus09]

Nats, take is as a compliment!

 

[AnnaLaura]

I don't think that's telling a lie! It's more like you are protecting yourself.

I do it too. It's hard here because Greeks will ask you anything even if they just met you.

I know what you mean the Spanish are the same, well the older people anyway. Yesterday a man asked me and I said my standard response, which is to shrug and say some things are beyond my control. He started telling me about his son who is starting to try now and how he keeps telling them to get on with it as she was getting old. Turns out she is 31!!! I said well I´m 38 and he looked shocked, he thought I was younger than her! Didn´t know whether to laugh or cry.
I am evasive rather than lying but I think it ok to lie too, after all it doesn´t concern anyone other than you and your OH. Good luck and hopefully you can tell them the truth after your BFP.

I agree with Sus, take it as a compliment!

The funny thing here is that I can't even count the number of women I know who are having/have had babies in their forties. What bothers me is that women just assume I don't want one and they try to talk me into it. And they never say this to my husband. What he hears from other men is how awful it is.

 

[Natsby]

Oh I will, but then when he was saying 31 was old I felt awful. I do worry about how old I will be when my kids are in their teens etc. But then I look at my mum who is as fantastic at nearly 70 as she was at 50 and still dancing and playing racket ball every week and i feel better.
I agree people always pick on the woman about kids, likewise people keep making suggestions on what I should be doing to get pregnant, but they never say to OH stop smoking or drinking! SO unfair!

 

[NorthStar]

People are twats really, they will say the most insensitive and awful things to a woman without a second thought. Often the women who already have kids (of the mombie variety there are some awesome women with kids of course) are the worst offenders too.

I head them off at the pass and say we're getting a furbaby, last thing I want is some dickhead asking me if I'm pregnant yet

 

[Milty]

you know everyone assumes I don't want more as well...


Ok I'm going to defend... well somewhat defend... well ok I'm going to explain some of my DH's reactions... He would tell you nobody ever says anything to him but thats not true...I have heard lots of his friends tell him all time "man when you are you guys gonna have more kids" or I heard this last week "you don't want DS to be an only child"... However guys have some way to not get emotionally bothered by this at all and because of that the don't even remember....well at least my DH doesn't...when we came home last we I said something about what the guys were saying and didn't even remember it 3 hours later

 

[Natsby]

Yeah we should be more like men in that I think, let it all run off like water on a ducks back. Although my OH is very sensitive and will dwell on things said for weeks, so more like other men not like mine.

 

[poppytal pope]

i think its hard enough without people putting questions on you i know i had the same "when are getting married etc" bottom line is its no one elses business so just reply with " everyone seems very concerned about me but im fine" thanks or ask personal questions back they will soon get the message its a no go area.

 

[HPMINI]

When (not if) I get my BFP I'll have to tell work sooner than I want to in reality.
My sister waited until after her 12 week scan to tell people but unfortunately I won't have that luxury of keeping it under wraps until it's safe to do so.

Fingers crossed for a positive result soon (not this month though!).