I want a homebirth but oh is not keen

[loulougirly]

I had an amazing birth with my first baby with the only intervention being arm.

This time I'd quite like a homebirth but this is hubs first baby and I don't think he likes the feeling of responsibility and is anxious about something going wrong.

Has anyone else had to convince their oh? How did you manage it?

Or does anyone have any stats and figures about the safety of homebirths that I could show him?

 

[loulougirly]

*** first birth was in hospital

 

[indigo_fairy]

I didn't have to convince hubbie about homebirth, (which I was a little shocked by considering our first experience), but we did have a really good talk about all the options and possible issues that may arise. A good site to have a look through together would be this one: https://www.homebirth.org.uk/

It answers alot of questions or concerns regarding homebirth and really helped me to decide it was what I wanted

 

[Samantha675]

Get him to watch The business Of Being Born.

 

[Mervs Mum]

Me! If you read the start of the https://www.babyandbump.com/home-natural-birthing/255340-home-birthers-hopefuls.html thread you will see this is exactly the issue I had to overcome with my OH many moons ago.....and now he's the biggest home birth advocate out there

 

[Linzi]

Ive gone through this with my hubby too.

What worked for us was that I told him it was what I wanted and it was important to me, but I wouldn't do it until I knew he was 100% happy which prompted him to do a lot of research himself and went to classes & support groups with me. I didn't overload him with information, because when I did I realised I was making him more nervous because I was making him think about stuff he'd never thought of before iykwim?

Theres lots of good websites as well which are written by men, and cover the points that they think about that maybe we haven't considered, they are very useful too.

My advice would just be go easy on him, make it known its important to you but don't push too hard. But it depends what kind of person he is too

Good luck xx

 

[Greta Chick]

I had to convince my hubby about homebirth. I wanted a homebirth with DD1 but he was dead set against it so our compromise was the birth centre again (DS had been born there as well).

This time I was booked in at the birth centre (he was adamant no homebirth again) but it closed a month before my due date. It was all up in the air as to whether it would re-open before my due date or not and even if it did would it close again when I went into labour because they were short staffed at the main maternity unit...........

So I suggested a homebirth as a back-up plan. I was extremely adamant I wasn't going to the main maternity unit (I hate the place with a passion) so a homebirth was the only other option if the birth centre was still closed. Hubby isn't one for reading up on things like that (though he will read up on car parts he needs and other boy things ) so I did my research (I knew the basics that it was as safe if not more so being at home with 1:1 care than it would be going to the main unit etc). I was doing hypnotherapy and aromatherapy and knew it would be better for me to stay at home so I began talking more and more to hubby about it.

I spoke to the midwife and just told hubby that she was coming round to talk about homebirth with us and he could ask her if he had any questions etc and he said ok. When she got to us (I was 37 weeks by then) he told her he wasn't really happy about a homebirth but by the end of the meeting said he would go with what I wanted.

During labour I was absolutely fine but he was still panicking about the midwives not getting to us. I rang them to pacify him at about 7.10pm and she said she would set off and him and my dad were stood on the doorstep hoping every car that came down the street was her Once they got to us he calmed down and was fine. He was an absolute star for me, and made sure everything went as I'd planned it to (no talking to me during contractions, him and the midwives only speaking quietly to each other, pressing my back when I wanted him to etc etc).

After DD2 was born he said he couldn't believe how quick it was, how calm I'd been and basically how fantastic! He said he doesn't know what he was worrying about, it was excellent and if we were to ever have any more children (he says absolutely no way now, 3 is enough lol) he would be fine about us having another homebirth.

I think it depends on your partner's attitude to educating himself (will he research himself or want you to give him stats etc?) but I did what worked for me.

Good luck!

xx