I want to be pregnant so badly it hurts.

Discussion in 'TTC After A Loss' started by cazi77, Jan 27, 2011.

  1. cazi77

    cazi77 Mummy to my 2 girls x

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    I had a MMC on 24th dec which was medically managed. I took us 6 months to conceive and I can say they were a horrible 6 months. My DH found the pressure got to him as I knew when i was O'ving and somtimes he couldn't perform iykwim. This lead to arguments and it turned into a very stressful time.

    I was so happy when I found out I was pregnant and had so many hopes for the future. I know M/C happens to so many people but it doesn't make it any easier. So here we are again on the TTC roller-coaster.

    This is our 1st proper month TTC again and its the same nightmare as before. I know my DH wants a baby but I don't think he understands how badly I want this. I feel like my life is on hold I can't plan too far ahead in case i'm pregnant.

    Oh how I wish I had a magic wand. Sorry for the rant xxxxx
     
  2. pip101

    pip101 Well-Known Member

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    sooooo sorry youve found yourself here! m/c might happen to heaps of people but that doesnt make it any easier! I have 2DD's (took 2 years to conceive no1)so I have people telling me all the time that I have 2 healthy kids and I should be grateful,and I am but I am still sad and grieving! (and its only ladies who have never had any probs that say that grrrrr!)
    Good luck with the ttc, I hope you get your BFP really soon and its a sticky one!
     
  3. Spoomie

    Spoomie Mummy of 1 & TTCAL

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    I know this doesn't diminish your pain, but hopefully it helps to know that everyone on here understands it. It is a horrible empty pain and longing and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. Yes, you hear/read statistics about how many women have suffered a miscarriage but that does nothing to make YOUR pain any less. I miscarried at 12 weeks in late November and felt initially like the pain would never leave me. Of course my logical head knows it will get better and I find that it helps to be proactive; I am concentrating my efforts on eating well, taking my vitamins, minerals and potions from my herbalist, and focusing my attention on upcoming ovulation (as well as avoiding pregnant women and brand new babies.....) I figure that if I stay occupied with this and feel like I'm taking control of things then my pain will lessen somewhere in the background, even though it still feels very much in the foreground. Not sure if this makes sense to anyone but me but hope the camaraderie has helped you! xx
     
  4. pinkflamingo

    pinkflamingo Mummy to an angel x

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    I completely understand hun. It took us 14 months to get pregnant and now we are going through a mmc, and will be back at square one! DH has just had bad SA results too so the [email protected] it just keeps on coming at the mo!!

    Try and be positive hun and take each day as it comes. I am hoping to be more relaxed when we start to ttc again, as obsessing about it all like I did last time just adds to the pressure for both of us. Try and enjoy each other and the time you have together, and hopefully a baby will just be the end result of that!

    Good luck hun xxx
     
  5. fides

    fides Well-Known Member

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    i cannot say how nice it is to hear strong women like you guys sharing what you are going through. i've been dealing with the loss of our only child (13 wk pregnancy) for about three months, and it is so nice to hear others going through similar feelings.

    best wishes to all of you, and hopes for an end to the baby-less times!!
     
  6. kapper247

    kapper247 New Member

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    I am understand your situation. The rollercoaster is harder this time but try a few things, you know the drill so try not to obsess over it ( easier said then done) Try to make it more fun. Try something different. My DH use to complain that is was becoming so medical like and less about making love and being together. Try to keep positive and reach out to us when you need to obsess or get support. I too am on my first month of TTC after our loss in november at 21 weeks. Even though DH and I agree we want to keep trying I am finding that I am the one that isnt as hopeful. I would rather prepare for the long haul and get surprised then set myself up for disappointment. Angel dust your way.....keep us informed
     
  7. Gem09

    Gem09 Well-Known Member

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    I really want to be pregnant again too, but im also scared at the same time!

    Still havent had a period (6 weeks since miscarriage) only have slight spotting!
    I just want to get back on dtd but hubby says he wants to wait for my period so we know im ok!

    I just hate the waiting around!

    Fingers Crossed for all of us that we have some good positive news very soon! xxx
     
  8. wannabe mam

    wannabe mam Well-Known Member

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    So sorry hun, just wanted to say I feel the same, I hope you feel better soon and good luck xxx
     
  9. lulu83

    lulu83 Momma to 2 girls under 2

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    I feel the SAME way!
    Im trying to stay busy since my mc in Dec. It wasnt a planned pregnancy, but its all i want now..a baby. obsessing about getting healthy. Since the second i found out i was pregnant i quit smoking (after 10 years, its not easy...) and ive been taking my vitmains religiously. Its all i can do, try to stay healthy, to keep my mind off of the fact that im NOT pregnant anymore.

    I dont think my fiance understands that at this point, id go to the courthouse to get married....i dont want a wedding as much as i want a baby. our wedding isnt scheduled until Feb 2012, and i dont want to wait that long to have a baby.

    Just found out my sister in law to be is preggo. I want to be exstatic that im going to be an aunt, but all i have been able to feel is sad...that we arent pregnant together and that she gets what i wanted so bad but lost. Its gonna be a tough several months watching here i think...

    I hope it gets better for you soon! Im crossing my fingers for you!!!
     
  10. sparklebunny

    sparklebunny Mother of 2

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    Hi, i'm so sorry for your loss. I know how you feel. I want to be pregnant so badly I can almost tell i'm stressing too much for it to happen. I m/c on 20th Dec 2010. i was only 4 1/2 weeks and I felt like I had lost a limb. I know the feeling about the tension in the house and having to go through the whole ttc again is heartbreaking but i'm sure in my heart that when it is meant to happen it will. i have my fingers crossed for you :hugs:

    :dust: and loads of it

    xxx
     
  11. sequeena

    sequeena Winging it.

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    That ache for a child... especially after a loss is probably one of the most horrible things I've felt. You're right it does hurt because you want it so bad. Good luck girls I hope you get your sticky beans very soon :hugs:
     
  12. cazi77

    cazi77 Mummy to my 2 girls x

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    Thank you all for your kind words. This forum has so many fantastic supportive people who know exactly how I am feeling. Good luck to you all and thanks again xxxx
     

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