I want to "know" so bad!

[PnkPolkaDots]

So being a mother has always been my lifelong dream and I never would have thought I'd be 28 with no kids. As you can see in my siggy, I've been through two miscarriages and after a year with no success we've decided to go on a break until after we get married in 2016, using this time to save money, relax, and get in great shape.

Can anyone else relate to how much it kills you when you hear, "You'll know what it's like when you have kids"? It seems like almost anything a childless woman does can be countered with, "When you have kids it'll be different because..." Or you're in a conversation with people and are the only childless one and people say, "Oh you'll know what we mean when you have kids!"

I want to know so bad! I know that most people don't mean anything by it, but it feels so patronizing sometimes. I'm having a difficult week with it being Mother's Day in the US this weekend, so I apologize for the little rant. I'm sure someone gets it?

 

[krissie328]

I absolutely get it! We were married for 9 years before having our son. All of pur friends had babies early on in our relationship so we were surrounded by them. We struggled with infertility which just made it worse. I wanted a baby so bad and it just stabbed at me every time I would hear it. It got so bad I stopped seeing my friends because I couldn't face all the talk of their kids and whatnot.

Unfortunately now that we have him I feel they were right. Things are so much different than they were before baby. And I'm one of those parents that always wants to talk about my kid.

But know it will happen For you! We waited so long and I do feel it made me a more patient and well rounded mommy.

 

[PnkPolkaDots]

Thank you.

I know it will be, but it just rubs it in when I hear it, and I don't understand the point of reminding me.

For us personally, when we finally have a baby, it will be the center of our world but I would be too scared to talk about him/her because I know everyone else will have had kids already or been around everyone else's so my baby will be a, "Been there, done that" kind of thing or I'll just I'll just hear what I'm doing wrong.

 

[krissie328]

Yea, I sometimes feel that way. I get a lot of just wait until they're toddlers, teenagers, etc. But I usually just say I don't want to think about that because I'm enjoying his age now. Sometimes it really bothers me. Kinda in the same way you mention. My only parenting experience covers to 10 months, so all the rest is still to come. Sorry, I feel like I hijacked your thread with my own problems.

 

[PnkPolkaDots]

No you didn't! Don't worry!

I feel like that's exactly what I worry about. Someone will always have more experience than me and I don't want to feel like the one who "doesn't get it yet." I get what you mean about not wanting to think about the next age. I honestly don't expect to get any sleep for weeks after I do finally have a baby. I feel like I'll have waited so long and wanted this for so long that I'll just want to watch him/her sleep.

 

[pug_lover]

I know how you feel ive been with my husband for five years and I got pregnant last year after trying for so long and I made it full term and had a healthly pregnancy all the way through and he was stillborn that was 3 months ago it was my doctors fault I told her he wasn't moving much she told me it was normal & been a first time mother I took her word went back 2 days later on the day I was supposed to be induced only to find out that my babyboy's heart was no longer beating she let me go over way to long I was going on 43 weeks and she was so rude about it all that day