I want to try, now OH doesn't?

Discussion in 'Pregnancy After A Loss' started by alysedelovely, Jan 8, 2010.

  1. alysedelovely

    alysedelovely little baby tegan and me

    Joined:
    Nov 14, 2009
    Messages:
    471
    Likes Received:
    0
    so..
    lost our baby not long ago.. and we had both decided that we wanted to try, since we are getting married in october of 2011 anyways, and we want three kids! :)

    well all the sudden, two nights ago he tells me he doesn't want to try to have a baby and that I need to go back on my birth control, that we cant afford it, etc.. when we CAN afford it!!!

    maybe this is his way of grieving?

    I just needed to vent because its driving me nuts.. i thought we were on the same page.. he said that we should try before i ever mentioned it.. now its
    "no lets wait three years.."THREE YEARS!!! what??????

    THREE YEARS?
    I just cant fathom waiting three years to start our family.. ugh!
     
  2. bek74

    bek74 Mum of 5

    Joined:
    Jul 10, 2007
    Messages:
    3,409
    Likes Received:
    0

    After my MC I wanted to try again straight away, hubby didn't. I think it was because I was so upset and cried alot ( I was 11wks) that he just was worried it would happen again.
    We agreed to wait 3mths and get my body back into it's cycle before trying again.
    We already had 2 children at the time so it wasn't our first. Maybe he is worried it will happen again and he isn't sure how to deal with it or he is worried about how you would deal with it.

    This is a BIG subject and something that seriously needs to be talked about, I don't agree with continuing to try and staying off birth control without you both agreeing. Maybe waiting a couple of months is a good idea, it gives your body a chance to recover and for both of you to talk about it further and giving him and you time to heal.

    All the best hun
     
  3. gnomette

    gnomette mummy of 2 an 2 angels x

    Joined:
    Nov 20, 2008
    Messages:
    1,633
    Likes Received:
    0
    maybe hes jus scared specially if it was his first! my husband was the same our ectopic was his first an he took a wile to come round to trying again mainly cause he didnt ever want to see my cry like i had been it broke his heart but he also didnt think it would affect him the way it did!
    give him a bit of time an try again in a couple of weeks i hope that he comes round xx
    take care
     
  4. JennTheMomma

    JennTheMomma Mommy of 1 & Expecting #2

    Joined:
    Dec 31, 2008
    Messages:
    1,329
    Likes Received:
    0
    So sorry to hear of your loss.
    You should try to talk to him. Waiting a few months, atleast, is a good idea. I became pregnant with my son Hunter 5 months after our loss, and although I'm so greatful for it, it was hard to grieve and be pregnant at the same time.
     
  5. alysedelovely

    alysedelovely little baby tegan and me

    Joined:
    Nov 14, 2009
    Messages:
    471
    Likes Received:
    0
    I think its really the fact that he is just scared. I am going to go back on birth control for a few months, I guess until we can sort this out.. I am not going to like trick him you know? I wanna get pregnant right now.. but then again delayed gratification has never been my strongest point. haha.

    I just want to hold our baby in my arms. :(

    plus, I completely think the reason I had my miscarriage is because of the birth control Yaz that I was on before it happened.. the birth control did not react very well to my system. i had been on it for 3 years.. and after 2 and a half years, it started messing with me.. period for a whole month.. etc.. so I am nervous to be back on birth control.. does that make sense?
     
  6. xforuiholdonx

    xforuiholdonx Momma to Emma and Coltin!

    Joined:
    Aug 15, 2009
    Messages:
    3,310
    Likes Received:
    0
    Yes it does. Ugh. See I was on the pill for a time but nothing felt right, especially if I fell pg and never knew it, you see where this is goingg. I just couldnt live with my self I guess, :/. Go to your ob/gyn if you want to change, maybe give your mind some rest ya know.
     
  7. bek74

    bek74 Mum of 5

    Joined:
    Jul 10, 2007
    Messages:
    3,409
    Likes Received:
    0

    I personally wouldn't go back on birth control, but I would tell him your not and he can always use protection.
    Tell him you want so badly to be pregnant again and believe that it was the birth control that messed things up, that you want 3mths of not trying but also 3mths of nothing in your body to allow it to heal.
    I am sure he will understand that. I think as long as your honest about not going on birth control then that is fine, it is in his hands to take action and use protection.
    My hubby and I agreed no birth control for 3mths but we used other forms of protection during that time.
    All the best honey....
     

Share This Page

  • Resources

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice