I wish I could just have friggin answers.

[bumphenders]

I totally agree with you. Elliots 'dad' tried to say that it was my loss..?
How on earth is it MY loss that HE won't have anything to do with HIS son.
The only thing I'll not get is his money, which Like i've said I don't want it or need it for Elliot.
Its like i said before, We will be Mumdads!

 

[MumToBe2012]

I'm happy I've found this thread! lol. I'm in the same situation as well but my baby is due in June. Hope I can join in .

I was having a fling when I found out I was pregnant. I was really scared and confused at first because I didn't really know how to react. Then I had to have an emergency scan a week after I found out because I kept waking up in agony and I had a suspected ectopic. Everything turned out to be fine.

I told my baby's father about the baby, who was obviously in shock. Then he turned out to be a person I didn't think he was, and he tried emotionally blackmailing me into having an abortion - he kept saying how much he loved his job and didn't want to be a dad. I wasn't mad at first because he admitted he was scared. Then he asked me whether I wanted to keep 'it' and when I said I don't know he said repeatedly that I had to get rid of 'it'. I ignored him and then he texted me two days later with more of the same and then when I told him I was keeping my baby he told me to keep him updated. Not spoken to him since and that was at the beginning of November last year.

I've been reading the posts on this thread and I agree with most of you 100%. I've been debating whether to contact CSA because I don't know whether I would get much and some people around me don't see the point. However, it takes two to tango so even if I didn't get much at least he would be taking some responsibility for the child.

I don't feel sorry for the men that put themselves in this situation. When you have sex, you run the risk of pregnancy ALL THE TIME even more so if no protection was used. When a baby is conceived, you have to think about what's best for that baby and they didn't ask to be brought into the world. They also didn't chose their parents. Also, EVERYONE makes mistakes and whether you had a one night stand, fling, relationship, marriage etc you can still act all 'high and mighty' because I bet every man and woman in their lifetime will make poor choices when it comes to romantic/sexual relationships. Everything happens for a reason. There's really no reason to judge another person's sitation because you don't know their mind or why they made the decisions they did.

When it comes to your child you want to do what's best for them.

Anyways sorry for the long post I'm Katie btw if this thread is active and I haven't wasted my time on this post lol.

 

[bumphenders]

Hey Katie

I see your point about the CSA, but it isn't really him taking responsibility, it is someone chasing him for money...Thats another reason i wont do it.

but you're more then welcome to join us

 

[MumToBe2012]

I felt that way at first and sometimes I still do, but the way I see it that money is FOR the baby. It could always be used to put into a savings account for when the baby is older but at the end of the day if you make a baby you are responsible for him/her even if that's by giving a little bit of money towards the baby's up-keep through the years.

That's just me though, I think every mum should decide what's best for their own child. We're all different and we all have different minds.

 

[xAmiixLouisex]

Hey Katie! :]

I went through the whole getting pressured into abortion thing. Once he got it into his stupid head it wasn't happening he just blocked me. -__-. It annoys me because he said I was ruining his life and all sorts. I never planned this and I never lied to him or anything. I never said I was on the pill or nothing like that. We just had unprotected sex and I got pregnant. Which tends to be pretty common lol.

As for the CSA, It depends. As bumphenders said, it isn't exactly facing responsibility. But.. for me I want to do it to remind him that he does indeed have a son. I know he wont miss the odd fiver a week or so, but it's not the point he'll know it's coming out of his pocket and he'll know the reason why. So if he's not gonna bother being a dad at least he'll kinda always have that little reminder that he's missing out on his child.

xx

 

[MumToBe2012]

Hey Katie! :]

I went through the whole getting pressured into abortion thing. Once he got it into his stupid head it wasn't happening he just blocked me. -__-. It annoys me because he said I was ruining his life and all sorts. I never planned this and I never lied to him or anything. I never said I was on the pill or nothing like that. We just had unprotected sex and I got pregnant. Which tends to be pretty common lol.

As for the CSA, It depends. As bumphenders said, it isn't exactly facing responsibility. But.. for me I want to do it to remind him that he does indeed have a son. I know he wont miss the odd fiver a week or so, but it's not the point he'll know it's coming out of his pocket and he'll know the reason why. So if he's not gonna bother being a dad at least he'll kinda always have that little reminder that he's missing out on his child.

xx

You're basically saying exactly the same as what happened to me. He hasn't blocked me but he deleted me. I think we both were with selfish guys, because the guy I was with didn't once ask me how I was feeling because he didn't seem to realise it was going to change my life as well. As for protection, the guy I was with is so dumb and gullible I mean when we were gonna do it the first time he didn't ask me whether I was on birth control and didn't have any himself. Was annoyed at him for that.

And that's partly what I was thinking as well.

 

[munchkinkidd]

You don't sound like a bitch at all
The way I see it is, if I go to the CSA, elliot would get a tiny amount, that he don't need, FOB wouldn't be any worse off, and it would mean that he still has this constant attachment i'd rather not be there, iykwim?

That's EXACTLY how I feel about my FOB.
He denied Zander when I first tried to tell him. I finally told him, once again *against my better judgement* a couple of weeks ago, and now he wants to play daddy after absolutely nothing? I don't think so. I've been doing this by myself (with help from family, as I'm only 17) for the past nine months. I don't need your McD's wages to care for MY son.
I posted a thread with more details in Teen Pregnancy, and in here, if you have any advice. ): I'm desperate at this point. Sounds petty, but I am.