I wish my milk would just p*ss off!

[Mindy_mini]

Hello ladies

My dd is 8 days old and on day five hubby and I had a massive heart to heart and agrees bf wasn't working for our family (we have a 18month old dd as well) so we switched to FF. It hadn't helped that my milk didn't come in til day 5 and we had no option but to give a FF on day four as I was dry and she was starving and screaming with it.

I'm happy that FF is a better thing for my family - I actually prefer FF her, I feel I've bonded more in the last couple of days than the endless hours she was hanging on my breast - dh feels the same as he can do more now - dd1 is getting more of my time again - it's easier as a family to go out and about IMHO - even if I'd have got through those first difficult days the next growth spurt would have brought similar issues etc.

My biggest thing at the moment is my milk is still there and whilst it is goof SLOWLY Whilst it's there I keep thinking have I done the right thing - afterall we all know how breast is best (said in a sarcastic tone!). I have no doubt nutritionally it is best but for my mental and physical health I don't think it is for me. I just wish my milk would do one so I don't have thet nagging feeling of "maybe I should just pop her on and see what happens" I know the supply will be buggered by now so it wont work but whilst it's there it's so tempting.

Anyone else feel this kind of thing after switching?

Anyone else switch for similar reasons?

In some ways I feel guilty and feel that I should have tried harder, given it a few more days etc but how far can you push yourself when you're not enjoying family life because of bf?

Thanks for reading my ramble!

 

[Dragonfly]

I know I am in ff section but seen this and felt sad for you as many woman wanted to breastfeed but couldnt. Your milk will take a while to go, every woman is different there. Breastfeeding wasnt easy to start with for everyone, I didnt like it, i wanted to stop. But it got better, I enjoyed it a while down the line, and glad i stuck with it. If you feel the urge try it. You cant do harm with giving breastmilk, that way you can be sure of what you want to do. Even pump some of that milk in to a bottle so others can feed or donate it, woman are crying out for it in places.
Best of luck with whatever you decide to do, go with your heart on this.

 

[Lady_Bee]

Oh god yes... I know those thought patterns. I'm terrible really, I've been 'switching' for the past month and I still bf at least once a day because I REALLY struggle with the idea of quitting for good even though I decided to stop bf at 3 months. I tell myself constantly that I haven't tried hard enough yet to quit!! (load of crap, btw, I know deep down it is never going to work at this point)

It's silly really and I should quit for my sanity but I just can't seem to stop trying arrrrgh.

Don't be too hard on yourself - bf is NOT for everyone. No justification required. Babies do just fine in formula and if formula = happy family then it best best for you and your child!

 

[mrsrof]

We have also decided that FF is what is going to work best for our family. this is our first LO, but I was so sore and stressed out and DD was so hungry and having green poos which stressed me out more and poor DH just felt useless because he couldn't help! So anyway, I am the same as you, currently waiting for my boobs to F off cause they hurt and I don't want the milk any more.

 

[HellBunny]

We changed to formula at one week, i wasn't able to look after J & F as F was awake between 9pm - 6am crying and feeding (i know this is normal breastfed baby behaviour) i didn't feel any bond with F until i changed to bottle feeding, he feeds every hour day and night and will only take 1oz at a time but he's gaining weight and now weeing and pooing which he wasn't before, i didn't have any urge to put him back on though because i know changing was the best for all of us, i didn't feel like i was being a mum to them for finleys first week and i look back and have no happy memories, i spent the first week crying every 5 minutes.

 

[vintage67]

These posts only enforce that there is something truly wrong with me. I struggled with both of my children to make more than drops of milk and that was with round the clock pumping, fenugreek, blessed thistle, mother's milk tea, creative visualization, excessive water drinking, oatmeal, 3 lactation consultants with the first baby, and an 11 day hospitalizaton seperated from my week old baby with 103 degree fevers from a staph infection with baby #2. Never have I experienced engorgment or any let down sensation.

Just not a producer. At least I somewhat accept that now. A woman on a breastfeeding site 8 years ago said that only good mothers made the hormone to make lots of milk. I drove my car to the river and sat there for a long time and almost drove it in. I wanted to give my baby away to a "good mother" and just slip away.

So, yes, when a lot of women post about wanting to "dry up" it can be bittersweet. However, breastfeeding is a very complicated situation for a lot of people and having a good supply doesn't mean the rest is a cake walk as there can be other issues. I've had horrible break ups in my life; a boyfriend that verbally abused me, I've been fired from jobs, lost apartments, had to pawn my camera and rings to buy groceries, seen my mom get cheated on and mistreated by my dad, but this inability to breastfeed has been a pain that sits on my soul. I never know when a picture or statement somewhere will set it off.

Sorry for the rant!

Happy parenting to everyone! It all gets easier to deal with as they grow up to be rambunctious little toddlers!

 

[Britney91]

I had to stop breastfeeding ds2 after 2 weeks as my nipples were bleeding so bad he had blood round his mouth and he had urates in his nappy (his wee was bright orange!) which they said could be because he wasn't getting enough milk although my supply was endless. When my milk came in I went for a B cup to an E cup and could hold a bottle under my nipple and it would just drip and I could get 4 oz in 15 minutes without touching my breasts. He was a big baby with a big appetite and was feeding every half an hour and I was in so much pain. I also got thrush and a blocked milk duct and my midwife told me to just stop as I was clearly in alot of agony.

I felt like I wasn't being fair to him as I was determined to battle through it and I felt so guilty like I was denying him what was best. But after a week of him being ff I realised how much he was drinking and how often I was pretty relieved as there's no way I could have managed.

My milk slowed down about 2 weeks later and then totally stopped about six weeks after stopping bf and if anything I think I felt worse when it went away as I knew I couldn't try again but I soon remembered the pain.x

 

[zizii]

I ff.

I expressed for 1 week and gave uP. I spent h

 

[beatnick]

some reassuring posts in here - im half way through getting engorged boobs to disappear and feeling pretty shit now as the decision was hard.

i couldnt BF ds1 and felt bad enough. i can bf dd2 and have chosen to give up as i just dont enjoy it and its sooo demaning on top of a toddler. now im ff i can see she is a grazer but has lots of milk. no wonder i was having to top her up to get her settled and calm!

nice to hear other people with similar stuff.

 

[HellBunny]

some reassuring posts in here - im half way through getting engorged boobs to disappear and feeling pretty shit now as the decision was hard.

i couldnt BF ds1 and felt bad enough. i can bf dd2 and have chosen to give up as i just dont enjoy it and its sooo demaning on top of a toddler. now im ff i can see she is a grazer but has lots of milk. no wonder i was having to top her up to get her settled and calm!

nice to hear other people with similar stuff.

Could i just ask what Iris' feeding habits are like? When Jayden was BF he cluster fed all night, and now he's on formula he is similar, yet cluster feeds on the bottle but tiny amounts every hour lol, in the day he has 1-2oz every 1-2 hours but at night he has 1/2 an ounce every hour

xx

 

[beatnick]

Iris goes 3-4 hours in the day if we are out and has about 4 oz and when at home will go 2 hours and have 2 oz at a time. Through the night she will go 3 hours and have 2-3 oz. it's all very mixed up at the moment and she I grazing a bit which I assume is a left over from bf. we are trying to get her to wait and have a bottle in one hit rather than half and then a break but it's hard!