I won't be able to afford daycare when I have my third child

[twiggy327]

Ok so I have 2 children, my third is due in November. I got married to my husband last September. I currently receive child care benefits through the state that significantly reduces my monthly payments. I have a few options Im going back and forth with. If I tell the child care assistance program that I got married, they will cut my funding which will make it pointless for me to continue working as I would only make $50 more than my daycare bill for 3 children. If I quit working, we will lose our healthcare coverage. I really love my job and I don't want to lose it but the only option I have if i want to keep working is to not tell my social worker that I got married and tell her im having another child out of wed lock and pray to God that they dont do an investigation and find out.

 

[adrie]

Not to sound insensitive, but why would you and your husband put yourselves in that situation? I cannot wrap my head around stuff like this, it's so puzzling. It's got to be stressful to always have lies hanging around your head that could cause you to lose money needed to care for your family.

 

[Lucy139]

You will be much worse off if they find out and you have to pay it all back and give up work!!

 

[Pearls18]

I'm not sure how it is in the US but not telling the authorities you've married in order to continue getting benefits you're not entitled to is fraud in the UK, prison-able offence. It's morally wrong wherever you are though!

 

[Aelyana]

Since you love your job I def would not quit! It won't be forever that you'll have three in daycare and always better to think about career decisions with a longer perspective. Also it will prob make you happier to stay.

And I think you shud tell authorities you got married. Like a pp said if they find out your will be much worse off. Plus generally I think best to be honest about these things.

GL, hope you find a good solition!

 

[LoveCakes]

Is stay even for the healthcare especially for the kids. Kids get sick, fall off things etc...

Also don't lie you will be on edge all the time and be worse off if they find out. Plus how do they not know it's a legal thing and they're a government department

 

[daneuse27]

I wouldn't lie about being a single parent. Not only is it not fair to the thousands of parents who really are living on a single income, but you would be in a heap of heap of trouble if you were found out. It's not worth the risk financially or morally.

I have a married mom friend who just started a minimum wage job that she loves, but she is making very little off it right now because they have to pay for daycare for their LO, who is 3. After daycare costs, she is probably only making $30 a day for her long day's work. But, she knows its not forever, because LO will start school next year and thats when they'll be able to start saving more of her income. For now, she knows that the income loss is worth the long term investment of keeping a job she's happy with.

 

[lovejoy]

You need to declare that you got married because if you don't its classed as fraud.

I know someone who was silly and thought she could out smart the system.She was working and got married whilst pretending to be a single mother. She was found out and had to pay £11,000 back.
This is why real single parents get so much headache when trying to get help from the state.

Stay in the job you have and get hubby to get an extra job. My mum use to work a cleaning job at the crack of dawn before her main job and my dad worked 8am-8pm, this kept everything aflo

 

[Koifish]

Take it as a blessing you walk away with anything from your job. I can't quit mine because then we can't make all the bills in the long run, I'll lose benefits. I also love my job. unfortunately daycare also cost more than I make even with a combined income we can't survive either way it goes (if i quit or not). I can't get any financial assistance because we make to much(barley). I love my job and know it's short term so I somehow have to make it work even though it puts me in negative income and I bring nothing home for 40+ hours a week on top of hubby losing income to pay what I can't cover. I know it's not forever and in the long term having this job will benefit us after daycare is done with. It sucks but you have to make it work. I don't think it's a good idea to lie about it as its fraud and it's morally wrong to do.

See if you can get extra hours or an extra job. I've worked 3 jobs at one point but you have to remember it's not forever and it's better than getting caught for fraud or having to pay it back. My job has extras I can pick up on as contracted work so I'll be doing that. Good luck.