ICSI only option hubby not keen-HELP!

[sukisam]

Hi all

I'm new to this thread my hubby and I have been ttc no 4 for 13 months following hubby's vasectomy reversal. He had a recent sperm test which showed:
count 38.8 million
antibodies 95%
motility 25%

we saw a FS yesterday who said we had pretty much no chance of conceiving natrurally and that our only option is ISCI with roughly a 33-38% chance of conceiving, I didn't particularly want to go down this road but who does? I've had a pretty rubbish year my dad died in May after being ill for a while and I'm just not ready to give up on having another child. I know I'm lucky to have 2 of my children with me but that doesn't stop the urge-maybe I'm being selfish but i just think we're at a good point in our lives and we could afford for me to reduce my hours and be at home more.

Hubby has said he's not really keen to go down the assisted conception road and i guess it's different for him he wanted another baby (we have one child together) but he hasn't been peeing on sticks and taking soy/vitb etc for over a year. He does say his desore is less than mine. Maybe it's because my forst child (not with him) was born sleeping at 24 weeks, maybe I'll always have a gap in my heart and it will never be filled.

I didn't sleep last night he wanted time to think so I didn't push it I just don't think I'm ready to hear him call it a day.

For any of you ladies going through or having gone through ICSI is it really stressful? I don't want to put my kids through stress but i feel like my heart has been ripped out. The surgeon that did the reversal gave us a 92% of success yet here we are.

sorry to feel sorry for myself.

fx we all get our soon

xxx

 

[Greta]

Hi there, my understanding is the issue is the antibodies which is probably a result of your husband's vasectomy. When blood comes into contact with sperm during such an operation this can be the result as the sperm can develop antibodies to itself. You need to look up a proper medical explanation!

The thing is there is still hope with ICSI! I am 41 and am just going through my second one but at my age the chances are only about 5 or 10%.

But I am so desperate to have a baby and so will probably give it a third go if this doesn't work. It is quite demanding, but it is actually our third IVF because the first was normal IVF and we didn't get any fertilized. So it pointed to a possible sperm problem. My DH has about 50% antibodies. But with ICSI we have twice got six embroys, with good quality ones among them both times.

I did a short protocol which meant I only took injections for two weeks, so it goes really quickly and just becomes part of your routine. The first few injections are a bit daunting but it is not painful and I really found the whole experience OK.

Anyway, I would say go for your dreams. xx

 

[sukisam]

Great
thanks so much for your reply. you're right I do need a proper explanation for sperm antibodies!
I'm hoping hubby will say yes and I can follow my dream (it's hubby's dream too but I think he's worried about the process).
Fx we have success stories
Good luck
xxxxxx

 

[FutureMommie]

I don't have any experience in this are but good luck and I'm sure your dh will come around.

 

[MrsF]

Hi hun, i hope you dont mind me nipping in x x x

icsi was the only option for us and i conceived on my second round (which was a frozen cycle). I'll not lie hun, it is relatively stressful, the injections, the rollercoaster of emotions, the uncertainty, and at times, the isolation. BUT, it's accumulative if you know what i mean. I found this site a god send during my fresh cycle, and again during my frozen. i am more than happy to help you through it, or please pm me any questions you may have.

in my opinion, the stress of being infertile and dealing with a future without children was far more distressing, and i guess it was the lesser of two evils!!! i knew in my heart of hearts that i couldnt give up. I have one more blastocyst in the freezer, so after this wee bubba is born, we will have one more chance of extending our family.

thinking of you at this difficult time hun. My best bot of advice? keep talking about it, never bottle it up x x x

 

[sukisam]

Mrs F thanks so much for your kind words it made me cry! Congratulations on being pregnant what wonderful news I'm so pleased for you.
I realise ICSI will be hard and stresful but what I've said to hubby it's not like we're coming from a place with no stress to a highly stressful process. I have found ttc quite hard having false hopes each month ( had quite a few BFP's) and I think grieving for my dad hasn't helped.
Last night he agreed we would have a proper consultation with FS (the time on Monday was an open evening and we were a bit unprepared for the consultant to go into details there and then and tell us we were very unlikely to conceive on our own given hubby's SA). It will take about a month to get appt so it takes the pressure off and lets us focus on having a great Christmas with the kids (it's my first without my Dad so I am a bit emotional);
Thanks for the offer of support I really appreciate it, the ladies on this forum are amazing!
I'll keep you all posted!
Thanks for the tip about keep talking I tend to be quiet and internalise things when I'm upset so will try and keep talking!
xx

 

[DaisyJump]

Hi,
We're goin through ICSI TTC first child. Haven't even started injections yet and I'm very anxious about it!
Have u considered adoption?
We've decided to have 1 ICSI baby and then try for adoption. X

 

[sukisam]

Hi daisy
we've talked about adoption but hubby not keen cos he thinks it'll be stressful for our other kids. I'd be up for it we have a 4bed house vwith a spare room and I've got a lot of love to give.
I'm just praying we get lucky.
Good luck with your ICSI I'll keep everything crossed for you xx

 

[DaisyJump]

Maybe it would be more suited to adopt when your kids are in their teens?!
I'm sure it'll all fall into place eventually. X

 

[MrsF]

hun x x x

i'll be on b&b for hopefully quite some time now so if after your initial consultation you'd like to chat, then just pm me. don't be hard on yourself, you've had a tough year, and next year may well be the antedote you need

i totally understand the false hope month after month, it does grind you down without a doubt. I made a conscious decision after my last ivf to have a complete break. it was bloody brilliant - no symptom spotting, no baby talk, no what ifs, just being with friends, eating crap and drinking shed loads! just the tonic! it was nice to get back in touch with my life as it'd been on hold for so long.

i hate that people have to go through this, it's so unfair.

go and enjoy your DH and children over the christmas break, and start in the new year with fresh eyes sending you sooo much luck and baby dust hun x x x