Ideal Gap between First and second Kid

[baker123]

Hi ALL

Me and my wife is expecting another addition to our family , she is now 2 month pregnant. And our first kid will turn to 2 years in next month.

Any one else is sharing our kind of situation..? , what are the pros and cons of having this short gap..?

And we are still continuing breastfeeding , is it fine or we have to stop..?

 

[bitethebullet]

I think the big pro is that you will be able to do similar activities with them eventually and they will be close imenough in age to play together. My little girl will be almost 3 when our second one arrives and I think perhaps she is starting to get a bit easier to handle now. Having 2 under 2 would be tough to begin with but I think jealousy is less of an issue. I continued breastfeeding for most of first trimester and could have continued but felt my resources were drained enough being pregnant!

 

[Quartz]

Breastfeeding whilst pregnant is absolutely fine as is tandem feeding if that is what you want.

The ideal gap is whatever suits you as a family but 2 1/2 years is a very popular one

 

[Kirsty3051]

2.5 seems to be the perfect gap. They'll be able to grow up together. I have a brother that is 14 years older and by the time I was old enough to do things with him, he'd left home. A con could be that you'll have 2 kids in nappies but that depends on whether your daughter is already potty trained or not.

As for feeding - I'm 26 weeks pregnant now and am still breastfeeding my 7 month old. X

 

[SarahBear]

Our gap was 2 years 4 months and I liked that it allowed my daughter to go most of her first 2 years without nursing being disrupted. As my milk dried up, she decreased her nursing, but got back into it as my colostrum came in. It is safe to nurse through the whole pregnancy and after the baby has been born. It doesn't take anything away from the baby and it can help the older child emotionally. For example, when Leo was newborn, Violet could be aggressive but she was always very gentle when nursing with Leo.

 

[LaBamba]

I think it depends on the temperament of the children too

My first and only child was extremely high needs and I suffered severe PND as a result of the sleep deprivation (even at 2.5 she still is a horrible sleeper)

Only now am I coming round to the idea of another and only because it will be at least another year away before there is an actual baby.
If she had been a 'easy' baby or even one who slept well, there might have been a closer age gap

 

[baker123]

Thanks All

And regarding feeding our doctor replied this ..

"she should stop feeding the elder kid becuase breastfeeding can trigger a hormone cascade in the body which can cause abortion and preterm labour pains.
So discontinue it as soon as possible."

 

[Quartz]

Ugh it never ceases to amaze me how uninformed doctors are regarding breastfeeding. There is an amazing group on fbook called ‎Breastfeeding Older Babies and Beyond which I suggest she asks to join in which many members fed throughout pregnancy and are tandem feeding and she can get support from people who have experience it

 

[Kirsty3051]

I've been breastfeeding this whole pregnancy and it's actually going a lot better than my first pregnancy, although breastfeeding is unlikely to be related. 26 weeks in and no miscarriage or labour pains. It's completely up to your wife is she wants to stop or not. There's a whole army of women on this site that have breastfeed throughout their entire pregnancy and delivered a healthy baby around the time of their due date.

 

[SarahBear]

Thanks All

And regarding feeding our doctor replied this ..

"she should stop feeding the elder kid becuase breastfeeding can trigger a hormone cascade in the body which can cause abortion and preterm labour pains.
So discontinue it as soon as possible."

If she has a history of miscarriage and preterm labor, it's worth discontinuing, but just as it's safe to have sex or exercise in a healthy pregnancy, it's safe to nurse. It will cause contractions, but unless there's another problem, the cervix will remain closed. If she has been advised to be on bedrest or to abstain from sex, not nursing would fit in with those recommendations, but if things are otherwise typical, there is nothing wrong with continuing.

 

[zorak]

Our age gap is 22 months and I like it. There are challenges but I love knowing it means the baby years will be over in a condensed period. The boys are bonding more every day which is lovely to watch.

 

[cupcaker]

I have no idea of the perfect gap, but mine are 18 months apart which comes with benefits and challenges. (My second baby was conceived far quicker than I expected, i.e. first month of trying).

My son (eldest) took to my new daughter very easily (no jealously etc) as he was still young himself. Plus the gap between them seems to close day by day even more. I don't think he will remember a life before/without her.

It's difficult having two children that need such careful and constant intense supervision and care, as they are both little and immature and need monitoring at all times. However, I wouldn't go back on it. I honestly think that my situation is just going to get better and better as they get older, have similar interests and similar abilities, entertain each other etc.

 

[Zeri]

I have a 5 yr gap and so far it's great. DD is fairly independent and loves to help out with DS. She also loves entertaining and 'playing with' him. So far they have a great bond.

 

[CaptainMummy]

There was 2.7yrs between my first two and it was/is great. Way way easier than the 13 month difference between 2&3!